One of these things is not like the other

I shop at a local fat man store from time to time.  They call themselves a “Big and Tall” store, but I never see tall guys in there and tall guys generally don’t need 5XL shirts, which is most of what they carry– I’m at the small end of the distribution in that place.

They send emails. Lots of emails.  I got one today, in fact.Screen Shot 2015-05-16 at 2.59.53 PMI was a little confused as to what this had to do with Large Person shirts and pants until I saw the capacities down in the corner there.  I need a portable chair that can support a thousand-pound human.  I need it for science.

There was more to the email:

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This part, I have to admit, confused me; I don’t go to the beach as a general rule but if I did I can’t see that I’d want to bring a beach tent.  I didn’t know beach tents were a thing; if you’re a beach person and you would want such an object, fill me in.

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Back to the chairs.  There’s no capacity listed for the Picnic Time Portable Fusion Backpack Chair, but holy hell does that thing look heavy-duty.  No price listed, either.

And then the email went completely off the rails, as they forgot who they were marketing to:

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I don’t know what the overlap is between “people interested in portable chairs with a capacity of half a ton” and “people who need neoprene wetsuits,” but it most certainly does not include me.  I’m glad the zippers are heavy-duty, though.

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Luther M. Siler

Teacher, writer of words, and local curmudgeon. Enthusiastically profane. Occasionally hostile.

8 thoughts on “One of these things is not like the other

  1. Great post! And as for the beach tent, the last time we went to the beach was to Folly Beach, SC during October. The wind was blowing sand so hard it hurt. My mother-in-law said she never wanted to go there again, EVER. She would have had a better time in a beach tent, I think. The rest of us enjoyed the warm water and having almost the entire beach to ourselves.

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  2. I didn’t know beach tents were A Thing until I had a tiny human. Some guaranteed bit of shade makes baby beach trips easier lot better. And is probably good for everyone’s skin.

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  3. The wet suit got me. As for beach tents…I think it’s an alternative to having an umbrella. And when you think about it, it’s a great place to eat because you don’t have to worry about sand blowing into your food.


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