On sexism, privilege and shitty white men

raf,750x1000,075,t,athletic_heather.2u1.jpgLet’s recall that Barack Obama rarely gave a speech without the media roundly criticizing his performance.  Let’s further recall that Hillary Clinton’s every vocal utterance of any length at all was frequently criticized as well, in terms one never ever hears when referring to speeches by white men.  Hillary’s voice and cadence were/are criticized constantly, and conservatives never missed a chance to complain that either Obama or Clinton always seemed to be talking down to them.

(They were talking down to you.  They are better than you, both of them, in nearly every imaginable way.)

So last night Cheetolini gave a speech to Congress.  I didn’t watch it, but from what I’ve heard he managed to both wear pants and pretend to be an adult who could actually read throughout the entire speech, which I’m sure he wrote not a single word of.  He has, of course, been receiving praise all day for finally “looking Presidential”– by which everyone means he spent the entire speech lying through his fucking teeth but managed to do it without shrieking, going off-script, or shitting himself, which are things we expect of ten-year-olds before they give a presentation in the fifth grade.

But he’s a white guy, so we’re alllllll gonna pretend that this was an important moment and praise him for it.  I haven’t heard anyone mention his voice once.  Dubya got the same treatment.

I don’t want to hear shit about participation trophies from white people ever again as long as I live.  This fucker got handed the biggest participation trophy in human fucking history just now, and the white assholes who scream the loudest about them all voted for him.

On the decline of the species

stinkbug_285.jpgNo, not humanity, although I’m sure I’ll write a post with that title about us eventually.  I consider myself at least a nominally environmentally-inclined guy, although I generally let my wife (who actually possesses an advanced degree in environmental science) take the lead on the various green initiatives we participate in around the house.  I like animals.  I even like bugs.  I understand that we need them around and that they need to be protected and that the average living thing is in fact a living thing and generally ought to be allowed to live independent of any human wishes or desires on the matter.

Unless we want to eat them, of course.

That said, the internet has 24 hours to come up with a reason why stink bugs need to exist or I’m going to go full-blown Mad Scientist on their asses and eradicate the entire species.  I generally hear that the reason we can’t get rid of all the mosquitoes is because bats like to eat ’em and bats are awesome.  Well, OK, that doesn’t apply to stink bugs, who don’t really fly and can’t be caught on the wing.  Plus they live in buildings.  So no bats.  They’re probably too big for your average spider.  They aren’t pollinators.  As far as I can tell they exist for no other reason than to suddenly be in my house or place of business walking on something that they ought not to be walking on– like, say, the rim of a cup I like to drink from, or my fucking toothbrush.  And then I can’t even satisfyingly smush them because they are stink bugs.  They are the worst and I hate them and they all need to die.

24 hours and then I figure out how to destroy them all.  If there are no comments I will assume the entire world agrees and will help with the project.

Thank you for your time.

holy shit dude LOOK at my HAND


Ah, what the hell, let’s just keep it full-size.

So, last night I took a pain pill before bed because I was jimmylegging like hell (look it up, it’s a thing) and also because my back and knees were bugging me.   This morning I woke up still feeling a bit loopy.  That’s not entirely uncommon but generally it goes away within an hour or two.

It is now twenty-four hours since I took the pill– one pill!  And not even something illegal or even particularly unwise!  One damn Norco!– and I’m still having intermittent bursts of dizziness and ooh my head why is the world upside-down going on.  Also earlier today I had an oak butterfly leaf dropped directly on my thumb and it is all sorts of unnatural colors and I probably ought not to be typing right now because hurty.

Also I sold a lot of furniture today, or at least I think I did, which is kind of surprising because all I really remember from work is putting my head down on the counter a lot.  Apparently that’s good salesmanship for at least some humans.  Dunno why.

I’m going to spend the next six hours watching my thumbnail change color.  Please do something better with your Saturday night than I’m doing.  Assuming it’s Saturday night where you are.  I’m not sure anymore.