Woo new face!

IMG_7121Finally got the new glasses today, which was exciting up until the point where I remembered that having a new prescription for my glasses is basically exactly the same as being super duper baked.  I’m spending all my time staring at my hand and the floor seems like it’s farther away than I’m used to it being and there’s this weird haze around the edges of my vision that comes from not having trained my brain to not notice the edges of the new glasses yet.  One interesting development: these lenses have some sort of new coating on them that is supposed to both screen out certain kinds of light emitted by digital screens and sharpen those images, and holy cow my iPhone has never looked so good before.  So I’m staring at my phone like I’ve never seen it in addition to anything else in the world with fine detail.  My old prescription wasn’t that out of date, but it’s been long enough since I’ve changed it that I’m way out of practice, if that makes any sense at all.

Tomorrow I get to go back to the dentist for like the third time in a month.  They’re going to numb me up again and do some sort of horrible procedure to my gums– they’re pretending it’s cleaning-related but I’m pretty sure it’s actually just punishment for having taken so long in between visits.  At any rate, the important part is that they’re going to be numbing me again, so I get to look forward to not being able to feel half of my face for most of the day.    I may actually have to run into work to close out a sale after the procedure, which is going to be awesome fun.  I’ve never tried to close a sale while unable to feel my face before. I’m really excited about it.

What’s on y’all’s agenda for the next couple of days?

Woo Saturday!

scary-easter-bunny-6I sold nearly sixteen thousand moneydollars worth of furniture and furniture-related services and accessories at work today.  The boy is at his grandparents’ so that he can do an egg hunt in the morning, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to allow any pagan bunny nonsense in my house.  I am watching Into the Badlands with my wife and sipping on a very small bottle of moscato.

Yes, I am drinking the alcohols.  Not many of them!  But I never drink the alcohols so this is a bit of an event.

Happy Easter, if that’s your thing.  I don’t have to work tomorrow, so … thanks, Jesus, I guess?

I promise I’m still alive

I’ve not posted in … five days?  Which might actually been the longest I’ve ever gone without a post since I created this site.  There’s not been anything particular going on– I’m not sick or depressed or anything like that– I’ve just been deeply uninspired for the last several days and haven’t had anything worth much of a damn to say.  Including tonight, honestly.

Gimme a bit.  I’ll get over it.

Blech

The degree to which I have wasted this weekend– and not in a good way, like, lazing about on purpose or something like that– is epic, folks.

(If that sentence makes no sense, remember as a retail employee I work every single Saturday and Sunday, and therefore my “weekend” is Thursday and Friday.)

Tell me something fun you did in the last couple of days, or plan to do this weekend.

An update to the impossible

You may recall this recent post, where I revealed the existence of my new electrical powers.  I am … well, not proud, really, more confused— to announce that not only have I continued to shock myself on that goddamn piece of furniture (and nothing else in the store) but that I managed to deliver an electrical shock to a customer today by handing him an invoice.  The shock traveled over the piece of paper; our hands did not touch.

I am terrified to touch one of our power sofas, which actually do run on electricity.  I’m starting to think I might die if I do.


Five days since the tooth removal, and I’ve still had barely a second of pain at any point, which blows my mind.  I just said this in a comment a month ago, but if dental surgery had always been this easy, no one would be afraid of going to the dentist.  I’m blown away at how lucky I got.