For the record

Crap like this is 100% the fault of the new Gutenberg interface being unable to handle basic shit like links and italics; I’ve been seeing weird line breaks in several of my recent posts and I assure you I’ve been doing my goddamnedest to figure out how to fix it. If anybody has any suggestions, feel free to HMU in comments, because I’m tired of my website looking like a 10-year-old coded it.

Actually, that’s not fair; a 10-year-old able to code would probably be able to handle basic crap like this. It takes a committee of adults to screw something this simple up.

2018 blogwanking

Ah, screw it, we’ll do it today. Christmas also falls under the “nobody’s paying attention” rule, right? ūüôā You ought to be able to click on any of these for a larger view, if you’re inclined to do that.

Overall traffic: basically right around the same amount as last year for pageviews, slightly down in everything else. That huge blip in 2015 is from the Syria post, which got over 100,000 pageviews and hugely inflated absolutely everything, and I was also posting twice a day or more most days back then. I haven’t been able to keep that pace up. Hopefully next year we’ll have a visible upward trend.

Writing stats:

I wrote more here than last year, but still not close to the pace I was setting in the early years– which, let’s be fair, was insane. Still, over 100K words isn’t nothing even if it is technically my second least-productive year.

Geography. This is this year:

And this, slightly more filled-in, is all-time:

I still prefer the way they used to do things, where that heatmap was a lot more useful, but basically I’m still looking at traffic from all over the world except for kleptocracies, hardcore Communist countries, bits of Africa, and Svalbard island. Top 10 countries for 2018 are the US, the UK, Canada, Australia, India, Germany, Brazil, Malaysia, Norway and Indonesia. All-time is a little different: the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, India, Germany, Brazil, New Zealand, France and Norway. I’d love to know what caused me to get more popular in Malaysia, which has had 40% of its all-time traffic just in 2018. And this little bit of weirdness still persists:

I have still never gotten a single hit from Kosovo. There has GOT to be something going on with the way WordPress calculates traffic that makes it impossible. I just don’t know what. Have ANY of you ever gotten any traffic from there?

(I do have 28 hits from the “European Union,” which is kinda weird, and I wonder if those are the Kosovo ones and are just tabulated strangely. 28 would be roughly in line with the rest of the countries in the area.)

The top 10 individual posts for 2018 will not surprise anyone who has been around here for a while:

The popularity of the Creepy Children’s Programming Reviews series continues to inexplicably endure; the Mini Force post is the #1 Google result for “Mini Force review” and was, all by itself, responsible for nearly 20% of my site traffic. The Snowpiercer review had a single day this year where it didn’t get any traffic, which is the first time that has ever happened. And I have no idea what the deal is with the “bad student” post. None of these make any sense to me at all.

And, for the record, after the top 10 posts (I’m ignoring the home page,) six of the next seven top posts are also CCPR posts.

Top 10 individual posts actually written in 2018:

  1. Na na naaa na, na na naa na, hey hey hey
  2. In which @amazonhelp doesn’t help
  3. KOKOMO-CON 2018: The Cosplay
  4. Snarf, 2004-2018
  5. Creepy Children’s Programming Reviews: THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL
  6. Creepy Children’s Programming Reviews: #SHERA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER
  7. Well that escalated quickly
  8. AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR, the spoiler #review
  9. Fuck Mel Hall, part 3 of an endless series
  10. VENTING: In which I’m going to vote for assholes

Nothing I wrote this year really blew up; the difference between #1 and #10 up there is only about 40 pageviews, which isn’t much, and there’s still two CCPR posts up there. I wrote three of them this year; the post for THE DAY MY BUTT WENT PSYCHO¬†doesn’t¬†appear¬†to¬†have¬†benefited¬†from¬†whatever¬†dark¬†sorcery¬†is¬†driving¬†traffic¬†to¬†the¬†rest¬†of¬†them¬†for¬†some¬†reason and is right in the middle, traffic-wise, of posts written this year.

Finally, just for the hell of it, referrers:

All of those Fark referrals are to the Snowpiercer post. I assume the lion’s share of the search engine posts go to the top 10 one way or another, and then there’s the 3000 referrals from Facebook that are keeping me from shutting my Facebook page down for good. Nothing too surprising here, one way or another.

How did you do this year?

In which I discover a new WordPress feature that I probably won’t use very often

Wait, I can put words here?

Several times in the last five or six years I’ve done the year-end blogwanking roundup on Christmas Eve, with the justification that no one is on the internets today so it’s a great day to write a completely irrelevant damn post. The problem is that right now I’m about 1750 pageviews away from passing last year’s traffic, which would be the first traffic gain in several years. I’m a few thousand back on individual visitors, but views have a chance of being up. And I kinda don’t want to write that post until I know?

What I need for Christmas is for one or two of you to take an hour and go through the archives.(*) 1750 pageviews in 7 days is an unlikely week under the best of circumstances, and the week of Christmas and New Year’s? I may as well go ahead and write the blogwanking post. But it’s possible. Highly unlikely. But possible.

In other news: I took the boy to get a much-needed haircut today, which marks the last time that I ought to need to leave the house between now and going to the comic shop on Wednesday, which suits me right down to the ground. We’ll have family in tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure we have every single thing we could possibly need here, and the shopping’s all done, so barring some sort of surprise I ought to have a couple of days where I don’t technically need to wear pants if I don’t want to. Which, hey, that’s what the Christmas season is all about, right? Jesus didn’t wear pants. That’s in the Bible somewhere. I have an MA in Biblical studies, I know these things.

Anyway. I hope you’re happy and with family for the next couple of days, unless your family makes you unhappy, in which case I hope you’re happy and literally anywhere else.

(* ETA: I just remembered I actually did this once. Randomly came across a WordPress blog at OtherJob back when I still worked at OtherJob, and the guy needed X number of hits to reach some amount of traffic for the year. I was alone and at work and bored and I literally went through every post on his blog twice just for the sheer hell of it to put him over the top. I’m mostly not serious when I suggest someone do this, for the record, but I HAVE actually done it once. ūüôā )

I give up; don’t read this

I have about 60 pages left of Michelle Obama’s book, which I’m enjoying more than I thought I would, and which I think is probably going to generate a review here once I’m done with it. ¬†I’ve been fucking around on Twitter for like an hour because I’m Going to Write A Blog Post Tonight and fucking around on Twitter is what I do when I’m waiting for my thoughts to gel enough to figure out what I’m writing about on any given evening.

I need to get the blog post written before I can read, because otherwise Not Blogging hangs over my head and distracts me.

Now, at some point, mentally healthy people realize “oh, blogging isn’t happening tonight,” and stop fucking around on Twitter and go do something that they’d rather be doing– like, say, reading a book I’d like to finish tonight, or playing¬†Red Dead Redemption 2.

But apparently yr esteemed host is unable to do that tonight, so he’s just going to fuck around on Twitter until the blog post happens.

Even if the blog post is about fucking around on Twitter.

So maybe I can pick the book back up now. ¬†Hey, I told you not to read this. ¬†ūüôā

Well look at that

Screen Shot 2018-08-22 at 7.59.26 PM

You knew there was no way I was going to be able to resist trying to figure out how many words I’d written over the lifetime of the blog. ¬†Turns out WordPress did it for me, and I don’t have to figure it out!

Unknown

The answer is that sometime in the next day or so I will cross over 850,000 words written here, since I only need about 700 more to hit that milestone. ¬†That’s a¬†lot of words.

Also, I miss 2014.