Unread Shelf: January 31, 2023

I know; shut up.

no brain; cannot word

no word; cannot brain

I will try tomorrow.

Alive but unwilling

I am sick AGAIN somehow and have spent most of the last day and a half napping and not in the mood for much of anything. I still owe you a story or two– this was actually a fairly action-packed week despite the fact that I only spent three days teaching– but creative output is going to be minimal until I overcome whatever the hell this crud is that has me in its grip right now.

Blech.

Busted!

A lot of my assignments are done through Google Forms, which has the advantage of a wide variety of ways for me to ask questions and auto-grading. I ask the kids to take a screenshot of their score at the end and upload it to Canvas, and then I use Canvas’ SpeedGrader feature to basically just copy the grades and then it syncs them with the grade book. Last year I had to go through student by student (which was still faster than it sounds) and put the grades directly into the grade book so I looked at each individual score report as I was doing it. This year (or, at least, since I started at my new school midway through November) I haven’t interacted with the actual Form all that often because they’ve uploaded the screenshots and I just work with that.

Until today, when I noted that this student had reported a score of 24/24 even though I had screwed up three of the questions. Two of them did not have right answers posted, which means it was literally impossible for any student to have gotten a grade higher than 22/24 on this assignment before I fixed it– and I just fixed it a few minutes ago. Which means my good friend here most certainly did not have the 24/24 he reports here.

I went and looked at his actual score in the Forms document. 0. He’d just gone through and put random letters in as his answers and then– skillfully, I’ll admit– edited his screenshot to show a perfect score. And I’ve zoomed in on that image and that replacement is clean. Part of me is actually proud of him. I’d have noticed this eventually of course but he’s gotten away with it at least a few times.

Tomorrow I shall flay him, and display his skin outside my classroom as a warning to future miscreants.

But not until he shows me exactly how he’s doing this.

drowning

I have a day of training and meetings tomorrow and I have been grading since I finished dinner and I am not going to have time to tell this story, but it involves 8th graders and pink panties and please God don’t let me forget to tell it at the soonest possible opportunity.

Also we did not get a snow day today and I blame God.

In which all that training finally pays off

I have, in the last 48 hours, recommended coming over to my building to two different people. One of them is a veteran educator and one of them would be a first-year. Today, for the first time in a 19-year career, I had to wash the blood of someone else’s child off of me after breaking up a fight. So today could have gone better, I guess?

In other news, somewhere between four and six inches of snow are expected tomorrow, with the heaviest snowfall being expected between 5:00 AM and noon, so I’m doing the Dance of Snow Day Please. My new district calls off at the drop of a hat so I’m expecting at least a two-hour delay tomorrow, and it will probably be an e-learning day of some variety or another. I am not going to do any lesson planning tonight, which feels risky, but I guarantee whatever I get set up will be unsuitable for whatever happens tomorrow, so I’m going to risk it. One way or another if I get through the day without anyone bleeding on me it will be better than today.

Proof of life, again

I spent the whole day yesterday with my head swimming, and as far as I could tell no other symptoms– just massive, nasty dizziness that I couldn’t find any solution for. I got up around 5:00 this morning to see if it had gone away, and it hadn’t, and given the length of my commute the thought of the drive to work while fighting being tired and dizzy spells seemed … unwise. So I took the day off, slept until about 2:30, and since then I’ve just been, well, staring, mostly.

How has your Monday gone?

Just a thought

A warning: this post has the potential to start out sounding kind of grandiose, like I’ve got a Big Point to make and I’m Going Somewhere; don’t be fooled, this is just an anecdote that is a bit too complicated for Twitter or Mastodon. Calibrate your expectations accordingly.

My wife does the grocery shopping every week, on Saturday or Sunday morning. This started out as a Covid thing where it made more sense for just one of us to be out in the world being exposed to people and has more or less solidified into What We Do Around Here since then. While she’s gone, I clean up the kitchen and get the dishes washed. This involves emptying and refilling the dishwasher, which means I’m putting glasses and cups back into the cabinets.

How many of you put your glasses upside down in the cabinets? Is this something everyone does? An Indiana thing? I have no idea, because it’s not like I’ve paid attention in other people’s houses, and when I *am* in someone else’s house and getting a cup out of a cabinet, it’s likely that it’s someone related to me, so they have the same practices. I have no idea if this is “normal” or not.

Anyway, as I was putting a glass into the cabinet this morning, it floated through my head that the reason I have always done it this way is that it keeps bugs out of the glasses. That’s why you put them upside down. It’s so bugs can’t get in. That’s the reason.

And that thought kind of stopped me short for a minute. Like I literally froze, glass in hand, thinking about that belief that I’ve harbored, unexamined, for my whole Goddamn life.

Because you know what I’ve never had a problem with, not one time, in my entire life, from growing up in my parents’ house, to a couple of college dorms, to various apartments and now the whole-ass house I’ve lived in for the last twelve years? Bugs in cabinets. And one of those apartments had an ant problem for a while. I have probably at some point or another found a stinkbug in a cabinet. One. Because during stinkbug season those fuckers get everywhere. But that’s it. And this belief, that you keep glasses upside-down in the cabinet because that’s how you keep bugs out of them, has been hard-coded into me for my whole damn life.

Which got me wondering how many generations back you have to go, to find the ancestor who had cabinets and had a bug problem, one bad enough that decades later that person’s descendants are still automatically following this rule they– well, she, let’s be real– created. I know it came through my mother because when I was a kid mothers did all the housework, but my grandfather on Mom’s side had a lifelong, solid, post-WWII Silent Generation union job in a factory and if they were ever poor enough that keeping the bugs out was an issue I have never heard about it. So we’re talking probably at least three generations back.

It really makes me wonder what other things I do without thinking about it that can be traced back to, like, the Depression or something like that.