I will consider tomorrow a success if I get through it without a prostate exam.
You may go about your evening.
Month: August 2017
A stupid good thing
It has been a miserable couple of weeks around here. I just got over being sick and went straight into some major Clark Kent life drama, which combined with an apparent downturn in the local economy (the sales for the store in general have been shit for several weeks now) have not done well for my general state of mind lately. Unfortunately, while I do like to use the blog as a braindump for said on-my-mind stuff, sometimes shit simply isn’t My Business to share– that would be the family issues– and the other major thing that happened recently and scared the everloving fuck out of me would make it way too easy to figure out certain important things that I’m not willing to share about my kid, even if I just nibbled around the edges on it. So you all get VaguePosting and I consider opening another blog up and telling no one about it just so I can get the post in my head out and onto paper. Or, uh, pixels. Whatever.
It’s a thing, is what I’m saying.
But! I was fucking unconscious at work yesterday– I literally either sold something to or quoted out every customer I spoke to except for one, and managed to transform a sales week that was utter shit walking into Saturday into a quite-welcome average week walking out. I’m off today, because the boy turned six on Wednesday and his birthday party is today. There are lots of sweaty six-year-olds in my future. (I am tempted to say “and not in a good way,” here, which I think is probably just creepy innuendo for the sheer hell of innuendizing? What the hell would the good way be? I dunno.)
But back to that stupid good thing. And it’s really stupid, so those of you who aren’t video game nerds may just want to go ahead and cut out now; the tl;dr version is I had an utterly minor life accomplishment that has improved my mood.
Anyway: I can’t find when the first mention of Nioh was on this blog, but needless to say the damn game came out in February and I haven’t really played anything else since I bought it. I have been stuck on a particular boss– that evil ice bitch Yuki-Onna, pictured up there– for, literally, months, to the point where it has seriously affected the way I think about video games. I want a fucking cheat mode on everything I play now, because paid $60 for this damn game and I want to see the whole thing, and nothing is worth getting stuck for as long as I was. And it didn’t matter what the hell I did, I couldn’t get her past half her health, and I was still good for a two-second “Nope, not today” one-shot death about every third or fourth fight. This weekend (which, remember, is Thursday and Friday for me,) being generally miserable and lacking in any brainspace whatsoever that might be useful for things other than video games, I decided I was in “beat this boss or die trying” mode.
To wit: I respecced my entire character, twice, and learned an entirely different weapon, switching my build from sword-spear to kusarigama-spear and adding a bunch of ninjutsu and onmyo mage skills, just so that I could get past Yuki-Onna. And finally, Friday morning, I managed to take her out after months of trying. I have been playing video games for a long, long time, guys, and I’m pretty certain I have never once in that time gotten stuck for this long at a specific boss in a game and then actually gotten past it.
I am several stages past her level now, and destroyed all the bosses in between on the first time I fought them, having had to massively overlevel Yuki-Onna’s stage in order to finally fucking beat her. Which: way to difficulty spike, game. She’s supposedly only the sixth hardest boss in the game, too, so I have that to look forward to, since I haven’t seen any of the top 5 yet.
But hey: it’s good news, even if it’s stupid good news. The way shit’s been going lately, I’ll take it.
(Want to improve my mood? I haven’t sold a book in a few days. If you have a couple of bucks you don’t mind burning, you could order one.)
Never mind
Today was probably the scariest day of my entire life, and I can’t talk about a single thing that happened. I’ll be back eventually. Might be tomorrow. Might be a month from now. I don’t need “get a blog post written” stress in my head right now; there’s no room for it. I’ll write again the next time I have something to say.
Still alive
Haven’t had much to say lately. Clark Kent family & work stuff. Will probably have a real post up tomorrow. It may be excessively profane! Or perhaps not.
And now, a brief brain-dump, provided without context
Oh god WHAT AM I DOING AAAAAAAAAAGH
STATION IDENTIFICATION: Infinitefreetime.com
I’m Luther Siler. I’m a writer and an editor. Welcome to my blog, infinitefreetime.com.
I’ve written several books you might be interested in, ranging from short story collections to near-future science fiction to fantasy space opera to nonfiction, all available as ebooks or in print from Amazon. Autographed books can be ordered straight from me as well.
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Thanks for reading!
You feed a cold, right?
Last night, at approximately 4:30 in the morning, I was bludgeoned out of a sound sleep by the sudden and overwhelming need to vomit. Like, threw the covers damn near off the bed, kicked the cat, scared the shit out of the dog, damn near fell over clawing for the bathroom before I projectile vomited all over my entire fucking bedroom. And then… nothing. I got into the bathroom and absolutely nogoddamnthing happened. When my alarm woke me up this morning, I spent a moment reflecting on the fact that I was able to breathe normally and thought oh, hey, maybe I’m better! and then got out of bed and was damn near forced to my knees by the virulence of the ensuing coughing fit. How the hell I made it to work this morning is a mystery, and instead of the usual caffeine product that I make sure to bring with me every day (a bottle of tea, most of the time) I brought Robitussin. I literally do not know how I got through the day, but I managed it, and with enough sales to make the effort more or less worth it.
On the way home, I drove past another fucking wild turkey. I live less than a mile from what is effectively open prairie and woodland (yes, both, in different directions) so the occasional deer and the much-less-occasional herd of deer in the neighborhood isn’t unheard of, along with the other usual urban wildlife, but I swear I never saw a wild turkey before this year and now I’m seeing them all the time. Wild turkeys are fucking weird, guys, and I have the same reaction every time I see one, which is to briefly wonder why the fuck a dinosaur is that close to my car. This particular wild turkey was even weirder, because I watched it in my rear-view mirror as I was driving past and the damn thing was hopping, not walking, across the street. So maybe it’s a one-legged wild turkey? I dunno. I’ve never been one for hunting but I kind of do want to see if these things make for good eating or not.
A minute or so later, I had another massive coughing fit and came very close to swerving into oncoming traffic. Frighteningly close, actually. Probably should have pulled over.
And then I got home and made the sumptuous feast you see in the photo above for dinner– yes, that’s turkey– and for dessert I plan to have codeine. I will try to post something more generally useful and less hallucinatory tomorrow; for now I’m just happy to be alive.
The end.
“Assuming I don’t die,” he said…
I’ve been asleep for most of the last two days. That thing I said I was gonna do? Later this week. I promise.
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