Money isn’t real, so let’s not bullshit: I’m totally ordering one of these fucking things next month. I didn’t realize I was going to until today. Seriously, if you’d asked me yesterday I’d have said buying first-gen Apple tech isn’t always a great idea, I’ll wait another year, and after remembering the launch event and going to apple.com earlier this afternoon I was halfway done with my preorder before I realized that I couldn’t actually preorder yet.

Basically my trade-in (for a phone, remember, that I bought last year) is going to be enough that it makes the unreasonable price for the 256gb model slightly less unreasonable. So … fuck it.

I had something else. Pardon me for a moment, while I stare at the screen.

… yeah, dammit, it’s gone. I can always post again if I remember whatever the hell I wanted to talk about, right? Not only is money not real, rules about blogging definitely aren’t real.

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Shit, right! Tomorrow is dead asshole day! I am not especially looking forward to being a middle school teacher on dead asshole day. Most of my kids had no idea who Charlie Kirk was until he got his head blown off, and his entire existence is literally a joke to them right now. I still occasionally will hear kids singing the We are Charlie Kirk song quietly to themselves in the hallway; most of them, if presented with the opinions of the actual smirking shitstain behind the song, would correctly identify him as a horrible person, and then would sing the song again. I continue to believe that him getting shot in the fucking neck three seconds after making a racist joke about gun violence is the most objectively funny thing that has happened in years; the fact that it was a groyper nitwit who did it just makes it even better.

There’s a lot of people online who are promising to convert to Christianity or return to God if It Happens tomorrow; I am not one of them, but you will hear me laughing regardless of where you are in the world, and you will likely hear news stories about the middle school math teacher who got fired for taking off his pants and running through the hallways cackling and yelling blasphemies immediately afterward.

So. Y’know. You’ve got that to look forward to. Cross your fingers.