In which I am supposed to be a tech person

This is my desktop setup:

You will note that TweetDeck is on the right, smaller monitor, and that Scrivener is on the left, larger monitor, which is also the actual computer. That’s how I want it.

Tweetdeck opens in the primary monitor nine times out of ten, and if there’s a pattern to that tenth time I can’t find the goddamn thing. Scrivener opens in the secondary monitor every single time.

I understand that this is very much a first world goddamn problem but it is driving me nuts. I assure you I have Googled the shit out of this and I cannot find a solution that actually works to getting those apps to open where I want them, so if one of you could Google it and post the first link, which will be something I have never seen before and will solve the problem immediately, I would appreciate it. This issue has clearly decided that it will not be resolved until I am at least moderately humiliated and fuck it at this point I’m fine with that.

(Note that any solution involving right-clicking on an app and going to “options” no longer works with Mojave.)

And because it’s probably relevant:

(I have no idea if anything nasty can be done with the serial number for my computer, but I figure let’s not take chances.)

Random Facebook PSA

I figured out something about Facebook, just a minute ago, that explains something that has been annoying me for months. I thought about sharing this on actual Facebook, but the blog post will get cross-posted there anyway so why not. Double blog day!

Anyway. Those of you who run Pages in addition to your personal site may have noticed something: Facebook helpfully informing you that your mom, or your wife, or someone else who you know good and goddamn well has Liked your page has commented on a post or something like that, and hey, wouldn’t it be great to invite those people to Like your page?

Well, sure, except they already do, and I know that, so please stop bothering me with this shit.

It’s one of those stupid things that gets on my nerves every once in a while– in other words, it’s everything about Facebook, an entire fucking ecosystem designed to do nothing but 1) allow me to have some small access to the lives of maybe literally five people who I’d completely fall out of touch with otherwise and 2) find endless ways to annoy me and/or utterly destroy society in the meanwhile.

I need to kill Luther’s Facebook page. This has been true for a while; my Clark Kent FB page has been gone for forever and is never coming back but those five people and the vague idea that the FB page drives traffic here has kept it around. I literally think about killing the page every day and don’t do it.

Anyway.

Here’s the thing I just figured out, since this wasn’t supposed to be an exclusively “bitch about Facebook” post: that list it’s drawing from, where it’s telling you to invite people to Like your page who have already Liked your page?

All of those people found your site on their own and were never invited to like it.

That’s why it’s repeating those names. It’s not comparing those people to the list of people who have Liked the page, it’s comparing them to a list of people who you have invited to Like the page. And if you never invited them because they are your wife and/or your mom and they did it right away when you first opened the page? Well, it’s gonna bug you about those people forever, as far as I know, because just because I understand why Facebook is doing the dumb and annoying thing it’s doing does not mean that the thing it’s doing is not still dumb and annoying, or that there’s any way to stop it from being dumb and annoying. It’s Facebook. Dumb and annoying are what it’s for.

But hey: at least I get it now. It’s stupid, but I get it. And so do you!

You may now go about your day.

On my other kid

Pictured: not my kid, my kid

I just dug through a month’s worth of posts from five years ago to determine that, probably because she was a minor at the time and isn’t actually my kid, I didn’t mention that a former student stayed in my house overnight before the last Washington D.C. trip I chaperoned way back in the day. Technically she probably shouldn’t have been on the trip, but she’d signed up before moving to Arizona and I literally had her mom assign me temporary legal custody of her and just didn’t tell anybody about it.

I took a picture of her sitting on my couch, and I remember posting it to Facebook with a caption something along the lines of “Why is this in my house?,” which entertained a number of her other teachers who I was friends with at the time.

She is 19 now, and is back in town again, and I picked her up at the airport last night, and she’ll probably be here tonight too before spending the rest of the week with other family and friends. And last night, as we were driving back from the airport, she got a text message from one of her friends directing us to visit her at her job at Arby’s. The friend is also a former student.

So were two other employees at that Arby’s, including another kid who had been on that same DC trip. All four of them were in the same class, which was hands-down the best group of kids I ever had. And I had them twice, first in 6th grade and then when they were 8th graders. So it happened that I, a grown man less than a month from his 43rd birthday, found myself in an Arby’s at 10:15 on a Friday night, after the lobby had closed, at least nominally hanging out with four nineteen-year-olds, three of whom were at least technically at work (and one the manager) and none of whom seemed to think it was remotely weird that 1) I was there in the first place or 2) I was the person who had been assigned the duty of picking this kid up at the airport, a job that one might think would have gone to, like, actual family, but we all have our priorities where they should be apparently.

And I spent about twenty minutes bouncing back and forth between this is at least a little creepy and hey, Hacienda is right across the street, do you guys want to go over there for a while after you get off work? Because age difference or not this really was a great group of kids and it turns out they have not gotten less interesting as they’ve aged into young adulthood.

And I’m just gonna leave that thought there, because I’m not sure I have anything else to add to it, but yeah: last night was kind of surreal.

(About the picture: the boy didn’t remember her from her last visit, which wasn’t surprising, but as soon as he discovered she was wearing Psyduck socks she became his favorite person ever.)

Advice requested

Ironically, I just snarked on Twitter about an article on how millennials are shit at DYI. Nonetheless:

I’m putting the new pool ladder together. Anybody have a better idea than needle-nose pliers on how to tighten those nuts? The bolt is smooth on the outside so I can’t go at it from there and no wrench on Earth will fit inside the plastic.

In which people search

I was all ready to give up on the idea of a blog post today, and then I happened to glance at my search results, and found this gem:

What, uh, post do you think THAT little search gem led to?

Well, this one, as it turns out, on page 3 of the results, which is yet another point in favor of my theory that people don’t have any idea how the hell to use Internet searches effectively– they just type in words and then click on page after page of results no matter what those results lead to.

Just, hell, when your necrophile murderer porn fantasies lead you here, make sure to buy a book before you go.