So sometime last week I scheduled this song to pop this morning, assuming that I’d be happily on my way to work to go teach some chidrens who I do, yes, actually miss by now:

But then, instead of going to work, I had another fucking panic attack this morning, and suddenly posting a video about how I’d rather be playing the drums instead of at work, when I really would like to go to work like a fucking grown-up now, seemed kinda rude and a little like mockery of the people who were actually at said job.

So I did something I’ve almost never done, and deleted the post.

(And then almost accidentally forgot to post today, because I was thinking I already had.)

I saw the doctor again this afternoon, and… actually, I’m not talking about it any more until I know more about what’s up.  But… yeah.  Not the greatest news I’ve ever been given by a medical professional.

I will not be at work again tomorrow, or this week again.  More later, when I know more.

Getting desperately tired of this.

6 thoughts on “aaaaugh

  1. I went through the same thing last year… and the year before… I got to the point where I was AFRAID of my job, and knew there was something wrong with me for feeling that way. I ended up going on a very low dose of Xanax and that helped. It brought my blood pressure down, too. I hope whatever the doctor said wasn’t too terrible. Fingers crossed and sending healing, happy thoughts your way!


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