Still here, mostly

brainlessI don’t like single-daddery, guys.  We’re doing fine– the boy is still alive, as far as I know– but I’ve been in motion pretty much constantly since Sunday night.  Wake the boy up, get him dressed and fed, drop him off at my parents’, 11-hour work shift, pick him up, bring him home, put him immediately to bed, make sure all the pets are fed and watered, do one or two tiny things around the house, go to bed, spend the night getting kicked in the back by a horizontal five-year-old, wake up early, start again.  Wednesday I got out of work early but I actually had to go to a customer’s house for a service call afterward, which was… well, fun ain’t the word but it wasn’t as big of a deal as it could have been.  Today was my day off but I’ve spent most of it either napping or wandering around the house like a zombie, unable to figure out what I was supposed to be doing at any given moment unless that thing needed to be done in some other room.

To be clear: I just sat on the sofa in front of the TV with my laptop in my lap, wondering what I was supposed to be doing with it, for twenty solid minutes before remembering I hadn’t blogged in a few days. That kind of brainless.

Luckily for me, my wife is on her train and on her way back home, so if I can make it through tomorrow and Saturday everything will be fine.  It blows my mind that there are people who pull this off all the time.  Mental note: do whatever I need to do, for the rest of my life, to ensure my wife never leaves me.  🙂

Saturday pre-sleep post

A couple things.

First, Balremesh and other stories is available in print now.  Right now it’s on a separate page from the digital edition but they’ll sort that out too.  It’s $7.99, which (I think) is a perfectly cromulent value.  Go grab it!

Second: when I got to work this morning, I discovered that my only good sale of the week had had their house purchase fall through on them and had called and cancelled the furniture they had ordered.  This wasn’t my only cancellation of the week and my other sales were shit so I was sitting on $149 for the week walking into Saturday.  This is a problem.  I can’t really have a week where I earn $7 from sales.  That’s not gonna work.

So I sold $12,000 today to make up for it, which is my second best day ever.  I’m now on track for a decent week, and if I can keep the momentum up it’ll be a great one.

And now I’m home, and the boy is at my parents’ place, and my wife is still on a train heading for California, and my general mental state is roughly Louis C.K. at about the four minute mark of this video.  I’m going to go sleep like the dead now.  Y’all behave.

In which this duck is my entire life

anigif_enhanced-buzz-2410-1369939749-19It’s been an exhausting few days, both at work and elsewhere, to the point where all I’ve really got in my head is fog and hell if I can think of anything worth talking about.  My 4th of July celebration involved eating buttered noodles with my wife and now we’re watching an episode of last season’s Fear the Walking Dead.  At least I think I’m only a season behind; I’m losing faith in the entire franchise, if you want complete honesty.

(Other than Nick, who is the smartest character in either this show or its parent show’s history, and is actually interesting to watch.)

Balremesh and Other Stories is still available for pre-order, for a few more hours at least before the birthday launch tomorrow.  Surprisingly, it was my most successful pre-order yet– by 50%!– despite only being available for about a week and a half.  The project for the next couple of days is to get the print edition ready, and then polish off Tales from the Benevolence Archives, which I’m still projecting for late August or early September.  It’s close.

And then, in October… well, I’ll hold off on that announcement for a bit yet.

I need some sleep, y’all.

In which I will not sell to you

itemeditorimage_54c12805aa7a3I have decided something, as of yesterday.  I am no longer going to be selling furniture to anyone I know in the real world.  I will continue to recommend that people who know me in my Clark Kent guise come into my store if they need to buy stuff, but I’m not going to be your salesman.  I’ll hand you over to someone who is good at their job and let them do it and that’s going to be it.  Why, you might ask?  Because since I’ve been working at the store I’ve had four people who I know IRL come in specifically to buy from me because they knew I worked at a furniture store.  The following things have happened:

  • Person #1 bought a coffee table and a couple of other things.  The other pieces were fine but the coffee table came in broken.  Twice.
  • Person #2 bought a sofa and love seat.  They were slightly backordered when they were ordered and they proceeded to slide back repeatedly after being ordered, and took, if I remember correctly, nearly two months to come in.
  • Person #3 ordered a customized sofa and loveseat.  Normally these are pretty bulletproof in terms of coming in on time so long as they’re ordered correctly.  Note the caveat in that sentence, though.  For these folks, I discovered that what is called a “loveseat” when it is sold in the normal configuration is called a “sofa with console” if you special-order it, and so they had to wait eight weeks (normal for a special order) for the wrong goddamn loveseat to show up in the store and then eight more weeks for the one they wanted.  Of the four, this is the only one that was unambiguously and clearly my fault; that said, I blame the company because that’s completely ridiculous.
  • Person #4 ordered a loveseat that was also slightly backordered and supposed to arrive in early April.  When it finally arrived– in the middle of May– it was, inexplicably, the loveseat that they’d ordered but in the wrong fabric.  The loveseat in question cannot be special ordered and does not come in that fabric.  In other words, I couldn’t have ordered it the way they got it if I’d wanted to.  No one has any idea how the hell this one happened.  It has to have been some sort of screw-up at the factory but here’s the kicker: our company owns that factory, and we don’t sell our furniture to other furniture stores.  So it’s not like this was the way this piece gets sold at Furniture Store B and it got shipped to Furniture Store A by accident.  Even the warehouse guys at our main facility in Mississippi had no idea at all how this happened.  This is, in other words, some bullshit.

So, yeah.  I’ve learned my lesson and I’m done.  I still recommend that you buy stuff from my store– despite those four examples, this shit really doesn’t happen all that often— but apparently I’ve gotten hit with the bad-luck stick in terms of selling to people I know.  So I’m done.