Miami (#FridayFictioneers)

On October 30, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories8 Comments

“There.”

“What is it?”

“Desk chair, maybe. Plastic shell. The metal might still be good.”

The scavvies pulled the chair out of the muck and tore it apart, discarding foam and fabric and setting plastic and metal aside. There were whoops and hollers from both of them– the ball bearings in the wheels were intact, and a tension spring. Sealed, so the salt hadn’t gotten them yet.

“What was this? Business district?”

“Maybe. Cheap chair; maybe from a house, before the Atlantic swallowed it.”

“Think there’s more?”

“We’ll look for another ten. Haven’t seen a sea snake yet. I’m getting nervous.”

WORD COUNT: 100.

Friday Fictioneers is a weekly blog hop hosted by Rochelle. She posts a photo prompt then challenges readers to write a 100 word story inspired by the prompt. It’s a fun challenge. Give it a try! Check here for the info then write your story and post it, link up and enjoy the other stories!

In which I require the internet

On October 24, 2015October 24, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories5 Comments

Calm_890c76_254933 Longshot here, as Google has already failed me, so I need somebody who reads as much as I do, but has a better memory.

I’m trying to track down a short story. I suspect it’s been at least a decade since I’ve read it and considerably longer is entirely possible. It may have been as long as a novella, but I’m thinking no more than 5-6000 words.

The basic premise, to the best of my memory, was that a wizard’s power was in some way connected to being able to keep something secret. Every magic user had a secret of some kind, and if someone else found your secret, something bad would or at least could happen. I don’t recall the details. Anyway, that was the scenario, and the big twist at the end of the story was a wizard using an illusion spell to convince a woman (who may herself have been a wizard, or may simply have been a spy for one) that she’d spent the night in a torrid lovemaking session with him.

His secret was that he was a woman, you see. That was the big twist at the end. One presumes that the torrid lovemaking session involved some illusionary man-penis, but I don’t remember the story being quite that explicit.

My best theory is that I read this in Dragon magazine at some point, which means that it probably came out in the late eighties or early nineties, but again it could have been later than that. I never really did a lot of reading of short stories, so that’s not too awful a guess, but if I’m wrong I’m completely out of ideas.

Anybody remember this? I’ll send you an autographed copy of the Luther Siler book of your choice if you can figure out what the story was called and where to find it.

(EDIT: Holy hell, Little Red Pen found it:

#Weekendcoffeeshare: Pearl Jam edition

On October 24, 2015October 23, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories19 Comments

If we were having coffee, it would be startlingly like having coffee with a normal person with, like, interests and hobbies and things to do and stuff. Life on the new medication is, so far, good, and there has been a refreshing absence of side effects. I’ve had a little trouble sleeping the last few days, but that happens a lot, and since I’ve been mostly sedentary for the last few weeks I’m not surprised that sleep isn’t coming quite as quickly as I’d like. For now, I’m not blaming the meds.

I’ve got all kinds of stuff to be excited about. I like the short story I’m working on, a submission for the World Unknown Review that I really need to get finished this week. I solved a story snarl with my next novel. I have a book coming ou t on Tuesday. I even have a Sekrit Project that I can’t really talk about right now! How exciting is that?

Also, while you probably have seen the Star Wars trailer by now, and will no doubt want to swap theories about that, you may not have seen the Jessica Jones trailer, and while I can’t really say I’m just as excited about that, it’s a sizeable percentage. Luke Cage is in it! Luke Cage is awesome! Hell, speaking of comic books, I’ve been reading a hell of a lot of good comic books lately. We could talk about those!

God, I hope you’re at least almost as big of a geek as I am, or this conversation’s going to be awful. Perhaps you’d wish to discuss books? I’m reading Neal Stephenson’s Seveneves right now, and I’m not too far into it but I suspect I’m going to love it. I just bailed on Cixin Liu’s The Dark Forest, which is a sequel to one of the best books I’ve read this year, but not translated by the same guy, and the new translator is awful. I’m sure it’s not a bad book, but it’s not readable in its current form.

I’m still out of work, because the doctor was concerned about the meds– I’m not seeing any side effects yet, but that could change, and my health has been flipping on a dime lately. And if I’m being honest, I officially miss teaching now. So apparently a month of sick days is what it takes. I’d like life to get back to normal soon. No doubt I’ll be climbing the walls by the end of the week.

How’re you?

Flight (#FridayFictioneers)

On October 23, 2015October 23, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories11 Comments

“This ain’t gonna work,” VJ grumped.

“Shuddup,” I said. “He’s not gonna find us.”

“You were just on your phone,” VJ said. “Bam. Signal everywhere. Tied straight to you. You turn off the GPS yet?”

“Dunno how,” I said.

“Just turn the damn thing off.”

I did. I’d ditch the electronics a town over, switch to burners. No updates anywhere. Radio silence. It’d be okay. Until I needed money, and used a card.

“You ever robbed anybody?” I asked. At least stolen money was clean.

“Just the once,” VJ said. “I’ll let you know if we get away with it.”

Word Count: 100

Every sick day should be like this

On October 19, 2015October 19, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories1 Comment

its-not-lupus-black-t-shirt — One of the tests was for autoimmune diseases! It really isn’t lupus!

I’m about to write a whole bit about all the fun & productive stuff I’ve done today since I didn’t have to go to work because I’m on medical leave. Let me start with this, though: we have an elderly cat. I got her when I moved to Chicago in 1998, so she’s seventeen and some change, not that you can tell from interacting with her. She has been a puker for as long as I’ve owned her. Last night I was ripped out of sleep by the sound of a cat preparing to hork on my bed. I snapped awake and tossed her out of bed, resolving to clean up whatever she did to the floor in the morning (this may be why the carpet in my bedroom is so shitty) and then rolled over and went basically immediately back to sleep.

And then it happened twice more in the next hour.

And the third time it triggered another of the same type of attack/”episode” things that have been keeping me out of work lately. The only difference is this happened in the middle of the night, but it was the same thing: simultaneously freezing cold and sweating, nauseous, weak, shallow breathing, generally awful.

Turns out, when your cat wakes you up trying to hork, it generates a bit of an adrenaline surge, and the third such event in maybe an hour fucked me up bad. I still say there’s something wrong with my adrenal glands, but I keep getting test results from all the blood I had sucked out of me on Saturday and so far everything is normal, so I have no goddamn idea what the hell is going on. I do know I couldn’t have gotten out of bed at 6 if my life had depended on it; I didn’t feel human until 11, at which point I was able to haul myself out of bed and take a shower and start my day.

How do I feel now? Completely fine. Which is the most frustrating thing about this; I’m either completely fine or I have medical professionals hovering over me and telling me to go to the ER. It kinda sucks.

But anyway. I did a whole bunch of shit today! Have the rest of my day up to now in bullet point form:

Went to the bank to clarify some stuff about our recent mortgage refinancing. Turns out I need to pay my own homeowners insurance now as the bank doesn’t do escrow. Annoying, but manageable.
Checked a couple of mattress stores for a new bed for my son, who is now big enough for a twin bed.
Bought my son a bed at one of said stores, which will be here tomorrow.
Had lunch at Five Guys, a rare treat since basically just setting foot in the place will probably kill the boy, who has a peanut allergy.
Went to the Apple Store and scratched my “need a new thing” itch by buying one of these. Almost certainly not the wisest use of my money, but I use two monitors and the massively increased size over the previous version won me over. Using a trackpad instead of a mouse is wonderful.
I’m generally a big fan of Apple’s fetish for minimalism, but it really hurts them on mice and keyboards. I can’t use their mice at all, and this is my keyboard on my desktop.
Actually saw one of the $17,000 Apple Watches in person for the first time, and walked away surprised by the fact that I actually prefer the look of my $250 Pebble Time Steel. The leather on the Apple Watch actually looks kinda chintzy, and the gold is way too shiny for my tastes.
Speaking of surprising things, walking past a Mennonite woman piloting an electronic wheelchair via an app on her iPhone was my moment of Zen for the day.
Hit the grocery on the way home.
Since getting home, I’ve applied for a job and done some light cleaning. I’m making dinner tonight, too. Chorizo Mac and Cheese!

Tonight: Walking Dead! Assuming, like, my son doesn’t jump at me from around a corner and put me in a coma or something. I’m naming my disease Reverse Hulk Syndrome until someone comes up with something better.

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Anything But That edition

On October 17, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Parenting, Stories12 Comments

Let’s see.

If we were having coffee, I’d…

Hmm.

I actually just got back from brunch with one of my oldest friends and her husband. They’re in town about once a year, when they come in for a home Notre Dame game, and we tend to meet up for breakfast just north of campus. What did we talk about? The last three weeks, mostly, and doctors, and my job. Shared some parenting stories; their daughter is a year and a half or so older than my son, and they have a 2 1/2 year old son too.

Problem is, I’m kinda tired of talking about the first 2/3 of those topics, because they’ve been consuming my life lately. I made it through breakfast without mentioning a certain book I have coming out, too, and I feel like that’s a victory. So it’s the parenting stuff.

Ooh! I never mentioned this: we had our first parent-teacher conference as parents this week, which was kind of fun. I’ve been on the other side of the table more times than I can count as an educator, but I’ve never before been the parent in that scenario. The fun thing was figuring out that the teachers were a little gun-shy, almost as if after several years of working together at my son’s rather ridiculously expensive private school they were used to parents not really wanting to listen to criticism of their special snowflakes.

I love my son rather a lot, and he is a lot of things, but he is emphatically not a special snowflake, and he’s also not perfect. My kid’s four. He’s gonna screw up and do dumb stuff at four. Their job is to let me know about it and my job is to fix it, not argue with them. This is definitely one place where me being on the other side of the table is going to help. He’d had some sort of stupid little personality conflict with another kid in his classroom this week, which required a bit of investigation on my wife’s and my part and a few clarifications from the other kid too. I don’t know how the other parents reacted to it, but the teachers seemed to think we were gonna dig in our heels on the whole thing.

Nah.

Once I get past that, though, I’m not sure how much I’ve got left. I’m looking forward to spending this week and next working on some short stories before I get back to the Skylights sequel in November. I’m hoping to have the first draft of that done by the end of the year, but you all know how slow I write. Not super likely.

Anyway. How’re you? Read any good books lately?

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Mostly Human edition

On October 10, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories8 Comments

If we were having coffee, I’d clue you in to a monumental development: last night I felt normal for the first time in two weeks. That is not a minor thing. This week I was reminded rather emphatically that my blood pressure medication includes a water pill, which I had completely forgotten about, and that it is sometimes possible to become rather badly dehydrated despite drinking water all the goddamn time. The reminder was rather unpleasant. My doctor used the phrase “perfect storm” to describe the wicked bout of dizziness and exhaustion that closed out my week, and it turns out that I need to start slamming a bottle of Gatorade as my first act of the morning until I run out of the current bottle of blood pressure medication, at which point they’ll yank the water pill part of the prescription. Also, the Lexapro has been cut in half.

I’m out of sick days for the 2015-16 school year, by the way. In October. That’s… kind of a problem, but there are ways to get some of them back that I’m looking into. Hopefully I won’t follow up two weeks of struggling with medication and anxiety issues with actually getting physically sick. But hey! I feel human. Let’s focus on the positive, hmm?

I’m also kind of sick of talking about medication, so let’s hope this is the last time for a while.

This would be the point where I’d realize that drinking coffee is probably not the greatest idea, as coffee is a dessicant. Waiter! More Gatorade!

Book news: Searching for Malumba is out in just a few weeks, so I really ought to finish the damn thing. As you might imagine, the last few weeks have not been good for any sort of creative work, and while the book mostly requires some fiddling around the edges– it’s 98% releasable in its current form without another touch– I need to actually do that fiddling. I’m hoping to be working on the print cover by tomorrow, which will mean the manuscript itself is ready by tonight. Early commentary has been good, so if you enjoy my commentary on teaching around here, you may wish to pre-order.

There’s no #SilerSaturday this weekend, by the way, as I currently lack the time and energy to be a salesman all day. However, my buddy James Wylder’s birthday is this weekend, and he’s put all his stuff up for free, so go download his books instead.

How’re you?

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Mood-altering drugs edition

On October 3, 2015 By Luther M. SilerIn Stories6 Comments

If we were having coffee, I’d spend most of my time yawning, possibly mixed with a few by-now patented glassy stares. Week One of being on Lexapro hasn’t been unpleasant, necessarily, but being tired all the goddamn time has officially gotten old, and my motivation to do much of anything has been chopped to the bone. This is a bit of a problem; I have a final manuscript for Searching for Malumba due in a few days, and haven’t really found the will to do much of anything about it, and I literally forgot that I was supposed to write a recap of last week’s Fear the Walking Dead for Sourcerer today.

Forgot. Clean, completely forgot, until waking up this morning, well after it would normally have been published. And the way my mornings typically work on Saturday there’s not an hour and a half to go sneak away and watch the episode and recap it, so right now who the hell knows when I’m going to get that written.

(For those of you thinking “Why not do it right now, instead of the post you’re writing?”: Reasonable thought, but this post will take ten minutes. I have ten minutes. I don’t have ninety.)

This is also a big birthday weekend. Fun fact: my father-in-law’s birthday is the day before my mom’s, and my mother-in-law’s birthday is the day before my dad’s. Well, mom’s birthday is today, so FIL’s birthday was yesterday. Inverting the proper order of things, we saw my parents yesterday and we’re seeing my wife’s today. We’re going to go see The Martian tomorrow, too, which I’m really excited about, in a sort of Lexapro’d “yeah, whatever” sort of way– I’ve been looking forward to this movie since the day it was announced. There aren’t any superheroes in it! And I’m seeing it anyway! It’s like a miracle!

(Skylights is free today and tomorrow. I’m hoping to steal some Martian thunder. We’ll see if that happens.)

This is the part where I’d usually go “Hmmm, what else?” but the simple fact is all I’ve done all week is sleep and stare at the internet. There really is no more “else” here. So I’m kicking it over to y’all again: what have you guys been doing while I’ve been trying to alter my brain chemistry?