Got the new license today. It’s … kinda garbage?

• The licenses changed design rather radically in 2019. That was five years ago. You would think that at some point I would have seen someone with one of the new licenses, or heard that they had changed, or seen a picture? I had not.
• They switched from two full-color pictures to two black-and-white pictures, both of which are significantly more washed out than the pictures in that stock image. For obvious reasons, I’m not putting a picture of any part of my drivers license on the internet, so you’re going to have to trust me here. That feels like an inexplicable step backwards and I’d love to know the reason behind it; I’m sure there is one.
• It feels significantly thinner and flimsier than my previous card, which … come the fuck on, guys. It’s annoying enough that credit cards feel like business cards nowadays, but my official state ID? What the shit am I paying taxes for? Print this thing on something solid.
• They did take a new picture, and made me re-sign the card, but it still says my hair is brown and, even more hilariously, lists my weight at 230. I wasn’t even asked if either of those things should change. I’m literally bald and my beard is white. I haven’t seen 230 in 20 years. I’m not even sure I lived in Indiana the last time I weighed 230. This is nuts.
• Your birthday is on the card in three different places, including two on the front, which feels kind of excessive.
• It also lists my height as 5’11”, which is odd, because I’m 5’10”, and nobody ever just downsizes themselves by an inch. It seems unlikely that I was ever telling people I was 5’11” and then switched to telling people I was 5’10” and forgot I ever changed it. Did they actually measure me at some point, maybe with my shoes on?
• I note that my previous license also says 5’11”. I dunno, I don’t get it.

Anyway, I’m glad I don’t drink or smoke, because the fewer times I need to pull this thing out of my wallet, the better.