In which I am a whining whiny whinersaurus wrex

helpful-parenting-tips-for-new-parents-27-photos-13So the boy’s new way of going to sleep at night is he doesn’t.  What he does instead is squeal and yell and talk to himself and shout and sing for, oh, four hours or so, punctuated by roughly hourly demands that his mother come attend to some minor need of his.  Occasionally I try to be the one to tell him to shut the fuck up and go to sleep attend to his needs, at which point he gets pissed off that the wrong parent is being inconvenienced and shit gets worse.  He was up past midnight last night, which means he was up somewhere between an hour and an hour and a half past the point where my wife and I went to bed, meaning that in addition to the squealing and the occasional musing about lacing his last drink of the night with some sort of tranquilizer I also got the fun mental exercise of is it going to cause a fight if I just shut off the fucking baby monitor?  Because he’s right down the fucking hallway and we’ll hear him if he hollers anyway and then not doing it because the last thing I need right now at bloody zero dark thirty is an argument about whether we still need a baby monitor.

Anyway: point is, it’s 9 AM, I’ve been up since 6:30, I have no memory of anything between my wife and son leaving for the morning and right now, and I’m hoping that what I think is the second cup of coffee of the day kills this headache.  I’m getting dangerously close to the point where I need to declare a “no screens at all” day, which is trouble, because I’ve got a short story due in a couple of days and I’m trying to write a novel, and I kind of need to look at screens to do either of those things.

<stares dully at screen for ten minutes>

Okay.  Yeah.  Not getting much done today.

tl;dr waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

11 thoughts on “In which I am a whining whiny whinersaurus wrex

    1. Part of me blames Daylight Savings time. It’s not fully dark until around 10:00 PM, which is WAY too late to put a preschooler to bed. He’s got good curtains in his room, but it’s still daylight outside when we put him to bed.

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  1. Our kids are up at 6am no matter what day it is. Which means I’m up too because they don’t know the meaning of being quiet and respecting other people’s sleep. Also, they don’t give a crap. And my wife is partly deaf so she is blissfully unaware.
    The problem is that when we binge watch TV shows until midnight then talk about stuff in bed for 1h30, getting woken up day in day out at 6am takes a toll.
    So yeah I hear you on the headache and the blank stare at the computer and I’m not even writing a novel (or a short story!).
    Our kids get their lights turned off at 8pm, at which time they realise they haven’t brushed their teeth or they need a drink or to pee or another drink or to pee again, or to read you a piece of paper they found on the floor, or to tell you a story about something that happened at school two days/weeks ago and OH MY FREAKING GOD WILL YOU GO TO BED ALREADY AND STAY THERE!!!!
    takes a deep breath

    I have nothing.

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  2. Love the graphic! Ha ha…I must say, real life is stranger than fiction, but not much more strange than this Baby Owner Manual wrongo picture. According to family lore, my grandmother lived on a train in a boxcar and slept in a dresser drawer as an infant. I also read somewhere that either MLK Jr., or his sister, slept in a drawer as baby. Guess it happens. This drawing could spur a whole new line of baby furniture, Sir.

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