Malaise, ctd.

I ended up taking today off and sleeping all day, then powering through two and a half hours of parent phone calls tonight. I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with me but I remain entirely Unable to Even at the moment.

More tomorrow, one hopes. It would be hard to provide less, I suppose.

In which I need to make “tired” a category

I am a vile, achy mess today, and I don’t know what I did to deserve it. Last night was all stress dreams, and I woke up with a headache; all day I’ve been having to remind myself to relax my jaw. Other than … y’know … all this (waves vaguely) I don’t have anything in particular to be stressed about, like, nothing’s happened, and there’s no reason for me to be trying to break my damn teeth.

There was about a 10-minute break after the word happened just then, where I just sort of stared off into space, not doing anything.

I would like my shots now. I have to get out of this house. Fucking Indiana.

In which I don’t wanna (again)

This post could be a couple of different posts, only I don’t want to write either of them. I don’t want to do a full review of Day of the Oprichnik, the Russian novel I just read, but it was so insane that I feel like it deserves a write-up, and I also had a conversation with a parent via text message today that I kind of want to reproduce here in its entirety, but doing that will mean that I’ll have to strip out all of the references to her name and anonymize the images and this was somehow a real long week and I just wanna sleep.

So instead I’m going to go play video games. This is about to be a three-day weekend, so hopefully it will be full of words one way or another. Just not tonight.


…my plan for vacation is “sleep.”

In which I lose a day

I woke up at 10 or so, which is a good hour and a half later than I normally sleep on Saturdays, and it was probably 4:00 before I felt human. Dad was going to come over for dinner and I had to push it back to tomorrow because I couldn’t motivate myself to shower, much less clean anything or, God forbid, cook.

Since then it’s been all sitting and staring. I managed to vacuum my office and our bedroom and that’s as close as I’ve gotten to accomplishing anything today. For most of it I felt like I’d taken too many sleeping pills last night. Actual number of sleeping pills taken last night: zero.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be more human. I need to figure out what I’m doing with the last two in-person days of school (there will be no 8th grade students in the building on Monday or Tuesday, watch) and I suspect that will be more difficult than usual if my brain is leaking out of my ear.