Tag: sleep

LOL

On By Luther M. SilerIn PoliticsLeave a comment

I cannot wait to vote for this man for President. Cannot. Wait.

Teachers are not really supposed to talk politics or endorse candidates in class, right? I get why that’s an expectation, although I don’t like it very much, and I think most teachers feel the same way, more or less. I have never confirmed how I have voted on any issue, although I have said things like “you have met me; your guess is probably correct” to kids before. But I will say that it was interesting to drag myself into work today, bleary-eyed and sticky in the weird way that one is after a night with little sleep, and notice just how many of the teachers in the building happened to be wearing blue. I was wearing a burgundy polo shirt, for no better reason than it was the first shirt I touched when I reached into my closet this morning, but I did make sure that all of the LED lights in my classroom were blue today. For some reason.

We were supposed to have state testing today, but it had to be cancelled at the last second because of some sort of tech issue that was either district-wide or originated at the state level, I’m not quite sure. But cancelling testing meant that everyone in the building had planned for very short class periods today and suddenly we all found ourselves with an extra 25 minutes in each class period to contend with. My car had a cylinder timing issue, and got towed to the mechanic yesterday, and after work I had to go pay for the repair, then take my rental back to the airport, then go back to the mechanic to actually pick my car up. So I didn’t get home until 6:30, which in Indiana in November is pitch fucking black. To say today was exhausting is to slightly understate things, I think.

All of that is prelude to say that last night was successful beyond my wildest dreams; I was somewhat willing to be optimistic about Texas, Maine and Michigan, but … Kansas? Mississippi??? And to be honest I’m not sure how the hell we lost Louisiana, because with all the vote that was still out in East Baton Rouge and New Orleans when I went to bed, that should have been plenty to take the win. Lauren Boebert is out. Virginia fucking Foxx is out. Kris Kobach is unemployed. Vivek Ramaswamy can slink back into the pile of semi organic goo he slithered out of. It was a good fucking night.

I don’t want to rain on my own parade, but I do think we all need to brace ourselves for an epic level of fuckery in the next two and a half months. There’s been surprisingly little yammering about the election being fixed so far, at least from what I’ve seen (and, of course, I’ve been at work all day) and it may be that we won so big that allegations of shenanigans simply can’t take hold. There’s going to be some bullshit, though. Probably a lot of bullshit. I hope the Democrats are ready for it.

And then, next January, I want these fuckers to hit the ground running, and I want this administration torn to shreds. No mercy, no quarter, and no pause. I want hearings, I want arrests, and I want fundamental fucking change. Some of these people are going to turn out to be Blue Dogs again, even if they aren’t calling themselves that (I’m looking your way, Josh Turek, and I’m very much prepared to not like you if you turn out to be another Fetterman,) but I have to feel like our majorities are big enough that we can absorb the occasional defection from a conservative Democrat from a red state. I mean, Christ, look at this:

I didn’t see anybody predicting an 83 seat majority. I sure as hell didn’t see anyone predicting what could be a 56 seat Senate, either. The first thing I want out of all of these people is a robust discussion about who leadership is going to be. I’m not as down on Hakeem Jeffries as a lot of people– the man has done a remarkable job holding his coalition in the House together over the last couple of years– but I am entirely willing to lose Chuck Schumer, and I don’t want to see either of them simply coronated.

I’m going to take a shower and go to bed early now. Regardless of whatever’s coming next, I feel a lot better about being an American right now than I did a couple of days ago.

I’ve been napping all day

On By Luther M. SilerIn lifeLeave a comment

Did I miss anything? I’m going to assume not.

Stupid brain is stupid

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy3 Comments

I called in today, after getting … maybe three hours of sleep last night? I woke up around 2:00 in the morning to take a piss. Not unusual; this happens most nights. Most nights I take care of business, put my CPAP mask on, and go right the fuck back to sleep. But every so often my brain decides that I would be more comfortable if I left the mask off and tried to sleep on my stomach. And last night the mask was occasionally singing me the song of its people, a sign that I’ve let it go a little too long without cleaning the air holes or just replacing the mask, and I succumbed to this stupid, stupid instinct.

I need it to be clear: I will always sleep better with the mask on than the mask off, and there are no exceptions. I don’t know how I survived as long as I did without the CPAP mask. It is virtually impossible to get good rest without it unless I’m deathly ill, and what’s happening under those circumstances rarely counts as “good rest” anyway. My brain convincing me to try and sleep on my stomach without the mask is mental illness. There’s no other reasonable way to describe it.

What’s worse? You would think that after an hour of tossing and turning and being conscious of the fact that I’m not breathing correctly, I would put the mask back on? No. On these nights, I can never convince myself to put the mask back on. I’m always right about to fall asleep, and “waking up” (I’m already awake, and miserable) to put the mask on would be a bad idea.

It would not be a bad idea, it is in fact the only thing that will allow me to break the cycle and go the fuck back to sleep, and yet I don’t do it. Some nights I can pull this mess off and not be a disaster the next day. I could tell within minutes of “waking up” this morning that school was just not happening, and I was blathering and incoherent for most of the day.

It sucked and I hate my stupid broken brain and my stupid broken fat body.

Oops

On By Luther M. SilerIn Blogwanking, idiocyLeave a comment

Came as close as I’ve come in a very long time tonight to just forgetting to post; I got home from work, took a nap more or less against my will and then ate some cereal and started putting my clothes back into the closet. It was only when my son stuck his head into our bedroom and announced that he was going to start getting ready for bed that I looked at my watch and realized what time it was.

I really, really hate daylight saving time. It doesn’t get dark in northern Indiana until after 9:00 even this late in the summer.

Anyway, having ensured my 888th day in a row of posting (no, really), I can go back now to … whatever the hell else I was going to do tonight. Or maybe just go to bed.

Let’s get this over with

On By Luther M. SilerIn lifeLeave a comment

I have been tired and headachy all day, and seeing as how we have to go to Indianapolis for the day tomorrow and school starts Monday, I don’t have time to be sick right now. So I’m taking the night off and going to bed extremely early. Have a lovely evening, y’all.

This makes sense

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, lifeLeave a comment

Perfectly normal, I’m sure, to wake up at 5:30 in the morning on a Saturday, finally drag yourself out of bed at 6:30 after giving up on any chance of additional sleep, and then to take not one, not two, but three naps over the next twelve hours.

My body is stupid.

How did that happen?

On By Luther M. SilerIn Teaching3 Comments

Completely lost track of time tonight; I had my club kids after school, one didn’t get picked up for forever, and then I think I melted in my chair for a little while, maybe? Either way, whatever I had planned for tonight clearly isn’t happening because I plan on being thoroughly asleep in an hour. I’ve already decided I’m not teaching tomorrow, ILEARN review be damned; the kids are out of their minds and I’m exhausted so to hell with it. I’m going to pass out progress reports and tell them to get something done then hide under my desk for the rest of the day. The math test is next Tuesday and after that the school year gets a lot easier.

(Also, is $6400 for five weeks of four-hour days worth it? Yes, right? Obviously yes? I should definitely do summer school.)

This again

On By Luther M. SilerIn lifeLeave a comment

It was sixty degrees outside last week, so naturally this morning I woke up to, depending on where I measured, between ten and eighteen inches of snow on my driveway and front lawn. The driveway was still so warm that once the sun came out it completely dried off; there’s not a spot of snow or ice on my driveway right now. Despite that, my mailbox is still annoyingly inaccessible; the battery on the blower died before I got to it and I never went back out after charging it. Hopefully the mailman forgives me tomorrow.

Anyway, I taught from home today for the first time in a few years. I haven’t missed it.

I’ve been weirdly jumpy and out of sorts all evening, for no clear reason. I’m pretty sure we’re going to have a regular school day tomorrow– it’s 7:30 and none of the nearby districts have so much as called a delay yet– so I probably ought to get on putting together some sort of lesson plan. Maybe then I’ll go to bed early; it feels super late for some reason and there’s no reason to sit around and kvetch all night.