I’m … probably not going to actually do this every month until the election? And, well, actually, it doesn’t even make sense to say that, because there won’t be 1000 candidates for the nomination for very long. So this won’t be a regular feature for long enough to become annoying. But what the hell, it’s fun and helps me organize my thinking a little bit. So. Again, don’t take the specific rankings all that seriously.
Also, I’m removing the two minor candidates who I went a month and didn’t hear anything from. I’ll put them back in if they ever start making any noise.
- Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren (TIE). This may very well be a function of the way I consume news nowadays, but it seems like for the last few weeks every time I turn around Warren’s campaign has been announcing some bit of policy that I like, and I feel like Harris has been mostly quiet. This is more a function of me learning more about Warren and liking everything I see than any drop in my admiration for Harris, but at this point I’d be perfectly happy with either of them. Put a gun to my head and I still probably vote for Harris but I feel like I want to recognize how much happier I am with Warren than I was a month ago. So: tie.
- Pete Buttigieg. I know I’ve been talking about Buttigieg a lot more than any of the other candidates, but that’s because he’s still such a longshot. He’s raised enough money from enough people to qualify for the first debates, and his townhall on CNN went phenomenally well. Right now I still kind of hope he’s running for VP, though; I’d drag my nuts over a mile of broken glass to cast a vote for a Harris/Buttigieg or Warren/Buttigieg ticket– and in Warren’s case, this would go a long way toward calming my concerns about her age.
- Jay Inslee. I’ve seen a few interviews with Gov. Inslee in the last month, and I really like what I’ve seen from him. He’s currently at the top of the “I don’t know much, but I like you” pile.
- Kirsten Gillibrand. Whose name I spelled correctly on the first try, thank you very much.
- Julián Castro. Another who really hasn’t changed positions much from last month.
- Amy Klobuchar.
- Cory Booker, and at this point we’re edging into “Ehhh … I will if I have to but I’d really rather not” territory. Most of everything I’ve seen from Booker this month has caused me to roll my eyes and/or groan, and I was already not super hot about his candidacy in the first place.
- (A fairly wide gap, not represented by any single candidate)
- Beto O’Rourke. Beto talks a good game and can be inspiring at times, but I had a moment where I realized just how much he reminds me of John Edwards, and … no, thank you, let’s all move on. Another friend of mine compared him to the male professor who teaches classes on feminism and is secretly sleeping with several of his students. He’s kind of a douchebag and I don’t really know how much he believes anything that comes out of his mouth and a guy who couldn’t beat 10,000 slugs pretending to be human in a poorly-fitting suit does not get to then go “Oh, never mind, I’ll just be President instead.” Plus I feel like he’s stealing oxygen from Buttigieg, who would be a vastly better President.
- John Hickenlooper. Who I initially forgot all about, but ends up low on the list because of his dumbassed “Why aren’t we asking women candidates about white male VPs” comment. We don’t need you, dude.
- Tulsi Gabbard. Still hasn’t made enough of an impact to give me a reason to move her down, also has given me no reason to move her up.
- Bernie Sanders. I’ve said my piece about him any number of times and it’s not really necessary to repeat it again. But he’s not last anymore! Because of …
- Andrew Yang. He keeps popping up on my radar on Twitter, and every time it’s because he’s being dumb one way or another. That said, he makes most of the second- and third-tier candidates on this list look like frontrunners in terms of his chances of being elected, so I probably don’t even really need him on the list at all.
- Howard Schultz. Also probably shouldn’t be here because he’s not a Democrat in any way I’m willing to recognize– not even in the half-assed way Sanders is– but still, fuuuuhuhuhuck this guy.