On things I’ve learned recently

Fipurplerain.jpgrst things first: from the “there should be a German word for this” category, I would like to know the German word for the moment when you discover a giant hole in the crotch of your pants at the beginning of an 11-hour work shift and realize that the moment before you discovered that hole was as good as the day was going to get.  There’s a German word for everything, so there’s got to be one.


Brief review of the new bed: I love the fuck out of it.  I would have preferred, however, that we not have a neighborhood-wide power outage the first day we own our new adjustable bed, although I suppose the setting we had it at when the power went out represented some sort of compromise between the universe and ourselves, since it was technically supposed to be a sleeping position and not, say, the “make your bed into a reclining chair” position.  I have since discovered that there is a place on the bed where batteries can be inserted to avoid precisely that scenario but at the time it was a problem.  But I’m sleeping better– way better, in fact– and that’s what counts.


I’m a Prince fan, right?  I have been for a long time– in fact, Purple Rain was one of the first two pieces of music I ever paid for, on cassette, who knows how long ago.  I was trying to hunt down video that didn’t suck of Lenny Kravitz’ tribute to Prince at the 2017  Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony, and finally found some that did suck, and for some reason decided to Google the lyrics to When Doves Cry.

Guys, I’ve been singing the wrong words to When Doves Cry for basically my entire fucking life.

I mean, in my defense, I probably decided I knew the words before I was ten, and maybe I’m just like my mother/ she’s never sad inside and maybe you’re just like my mother/ she’s never satisfied aren’t that far apart, but that wasn’t the only bit I was getting wrong, right?  And it’s like… damn, I’ve heard this song probably once a week for my entire fucking life and I’ve managed to screw it up every single time.  What the hell else have I been doing wrong for my entire life and never realized it until now?

Feel free to share examples of similar idiocy in the comments if you like.

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