I should have taken this and gotten a picture on the spot; I apologize for my failure as a blogger.
My day began with an irate parent in the office– before I was even able to get to my desk and put my stuff down. She’s mad that a teacher has sent a note home without any “useful” information on it, including her signature, and is furthermore angry that her daughter was prevented from leaving the gym at the end of the day so that she could go to said staff member and acquire this all-important signature. She’s demanding to speak to the teacher in question immediately.
Right away I smell a rat, for several reasons, not least among which is the fact that the teacher in question has gym duty at the end of the day and would, therefore, be in the gym. I ask to see the note. The parent hands me two pieces of paper: her daughter’s progress report, which has every single grade carefully scratched out with what appears to be both black pen and Sharpie, and the handwritten note from the teacher.
Note that the parent is mad at the teacher, which means that I don’t help her mood any when I immediately start laughing and tell her daughter that she has exactly one chance to tell the truth before we have a serious problem. Because this is basically the note:
MS WHATSERNAME:
YOURE DAUTERS GRADES ARE INCORRECT THESE IS THE REAL ONES:
1) A
2) B-
3) A
4) B
5) B+
6) A-
7) A
SHE IS DOING A LOT BETTER LATLY PLEASE CALL US IF YOU HAS ANY QUESTIONS.
I didn’t memorize the motherfucker; I remember there was definitely one word in there that had a superfluous “e” in it somewhere, but you get the idea. Furthermore, every letter on the page has been gone over at least two times in a way absolutely no adult anywhere writes but is currently a popular affectation among teenage girls.
Note also that the students have eight classes, not seven.
What’s Mom mad about? That the classes aren’t labeled. She apparently hasn’t noticed the… uh… various other issues with the note. She then proceeded to get mad at me for declining to punish her daughter at school; sorry, lady, this one is clearly your problem. I’m not doing anything about it.
And, say it with me: if the daughter doesn’t pass ISTEP, it’s my fault.
Discover more from Welcome to infinitefreetime dot com
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Welcome to infinitefreetime dot com 
So let me get this straight. Daughter clearly lies to her mother about the grades she received, does a piss poor job of it to boot, and the mother is mad at the teacher? I don’t want to live in this world anymore.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Mom does not notice daughter has lied” probably ought to be in there, too, but yeah.
LikeLike
Yea, how is that not obvious? Apparently someone forgot how to parent today. Sheesh.
LikeLike
Nice posts
LikeLike
It is always our fault. Parents are totally delusional these days. These kids do acrobatics to keep from working, then do acrobatics to get out of trouble when they fail.
But it IS your fault.
LikeLike
Humans are weird. That is all! 🙂
LikeLike
Oh dear…..
I work in an academic testing center… the things I hear (from parents and students alike) are pretty baffling… amazing the back-peddling that goes on when I say something like “Well, let me just call the professor to confirm that…”
LikeLike
God..I feel so lucky…My son is an honest injun!!!! I have to say in all honesty–I am so glad I did not have daughters……
LikeLike
I’m presuming ISTEP is something like the ITED’s (Iowa Tests of Educational Development) that I took back in the throes of my long lost youth?
Some people are so clueless. I’m glad I have cats.
LikeLike
I’m not sure if I’m more bothered that the kid was trying to cheat, or that the kid was cheating so badly. Maybe there’s a need for a remedial cheating class so at least students do a minimally competent job at it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know this is kind of mean, but “like mother, like daughter”. I spelled this right. The mother should have looked at the paper a bit closer.
LikeLike
It’s society in a nutshell. In the Old Days that Never Were, you had community, and kids mostly had boundaries. If they did something wrong, someone in the community would see it and bring it up with the kid, or tell kid’s mother. Kid would get in trouble for not listening to an adult and be punished.
Fast forward to individualism, pursuit of things, and freedom. It’s a vicious circle, and that it-takes-a-village thing has gone out the window. No longer are the neighbors and family engaged in the rearing of the young, and we’re so against shaming and imposing a moral code, that the parents and kids are living in this universe of no-consequences it’s all about me.
It’s now parent vs. teacher. The problem is that little precious there is learning bad life lessons from her vacuous parent. She, in turn, will probably churn out more vacuous children that she will raise to be vacuous members of society, and so on.
It’s really quite nihilistic.
LikeLike
Someone on FB wrote ‘dawta’ the other day and it made my brain hurt.
This is the same kind of brain hurt.
LikeLike