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My son, who clearly does not realize what he has gotten himself into, has to do a report on a Famous Person from Indiana, and has somehow chosen Axl Rose, born in Lafayette in 1962. The ensuing discussion among my wife and I about what GnR song is their most iconic led to my brother suggesting that I get an immediate divorce. While I suspect I’m probably not going that route– I would be homeless in a month without my wife– her opinions on GnR are Wrong. My son, at one point during the conversation, looked at us and, I swear to you, quietly mumbled “What have I started?” to himself.

The correct answer is Sweet Child O’ Mine, by the way.

I think what’s probably going to happen is I’m going to write a 75-page pamphlet on GnR and give it to him, and he can edit it down to three pages or a hundred words or whatever passes for hard work in fourth grade nowadays.

I don’t have to go in to work tomorrow, as I have a training thing in the morning, which means that I’ll actually have my afternoon to myself. I’m going to take the rest of the night off after I finish this brief post and curl up with a book; I started John Scalzi’s The Kaiju Preservation Society last night and it’s going to demand my full attention until I finish it, I think.

I just, somehow, got sucked into spending half an hour reading this brutal-ass report on everything Olive Garden is doing wrong nowadays. Warning: it’s a 290-page PDF file. Second warning: it is, somehow, despite being full of investorspeak and MBAtalk, startlingly compelling.

And, again, brutal. Whoever was responsible for putting this together pretty much thinks that everyone who works for or at Olive Garden, or any other restaurant owned by Darden, sucks, as well as all upper management and most of their investors. And he pulls no punches at all, ever. What can I say; I love invective in basically all its forms, and this is some great hate going on here.

The funny thing is, while I don’t have any real animus against Olive Garden, I don’t particularly like the place either. We eat there… yearly? Twice yearly, maybe? I’m a fan of Red Lobster, which at least used to be owned by the same people, but doesn’t seem to be anymore, and I don’t think I’ve ever entered a Longhorn Steakhouse. So it wouldn’t be any real skin off my back if Olive Garden went under. I know some people who might be upset, I suppose. I’m not one of them.

I might miss the Penny Arcade comics, I guess.