The blog of Luther M. Siler, teacher, author and local curmudgeon
Today involved two different fights, one a cafeteria-clearing brawl that took at least four adults to break up, and that wasn’t the one where a staff member got injured. I took two different staff members to urgent care today– the one who got hurt in the fight and our nurse, of all people, who had a massive asthma attack around 10:00.
I came home and took a nap. I’m awake now, so it’s time for bed.
Do I really have to do this four more times this week?
“He tried to pull the gas lines out on the stove and then he ejaculated all over everything” is not a sentence anyone has ever said to me at work before.
…piece of cake, right? Sure.
THIS is crazy:
I got three minutes and two seconds in, to the third use of the word “back,” before realizing what the hell I was doing and deciding to inflict it on you guys.
(Also, it may take… oh, twenty-five seconds or so for you to figure out what’s going on.)
Today was very nearly my first skip day in several months until my wife pointed out just now that there was nothing stopping me from a one-liner before bed. This may still be my last post until I get back from DC; even by my standards I am going to be incredibly busy between now and next Tuesday– tomorrow, in addition for all the things you might imagine I have to do on the night before a four-day trip with thirty thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds, is fucking parent teacher conferences– and I love y’all but there are only so many hours in the day. I will genuinely try and get that HIMYM post up– yes, still angry– but I’m SO not making promises.
I demand that each and every one of you read through my entire archives. Also, click here for a random post if you like.
(Oh! Worth pointing out– I went to see my student who is in the hospital after school today. She’s fine, for values of “fine” that include “in the hospital with several broken bones after being hit by a car.” She was sitting in a chair in her room when I got there and not only didn’t appear to be in any pain but was actually more or less her usual chipper self– which makes absolutely no sense to me because her mother described her pelvis as “crushed” when we were talking about her injuries. I either don’t know what “crushed” means or don’t quite understand how the pelvis works, because I feel like if that bone got crushed sitting in a chair would be incredibly painful. But perhaps that’s why I’m a middle school math teacher and not a doctor.)
So… remember the bathroom update? I haven’t mentioned it in a while because school started and we had to push everything back to when I had the time and the sanity to do it: in other words, winter break. Which is in three weeks, which means that the planning has shifted into high gear. I put this together tonight; I’m sharing it with you guys because 1) I think it might be entertaining to see just how unprepared I am to do this right and 2) I’m hoping people smarter than me will spot issues that I might not be aware of yet.
Copied and pasted from Evernote, here you go:
Project 1: Eliminate bulkhead
1) Clear insulation away from inside attic.
2) Remove existing bathroom fan.
3) Demolish bulkhead.
4) Secure/install new bathroom fan.
5) Install new cement board ceiling.
Potential issues: 1) Electrical incompatibilities; 2) structural incompatibilities; 3) Incompatibilities with position of vent ductwork.
Necessary purchases: 1) Cement board; 2) Screws; 3) drywall mud 4) mudding tools/sandpaper
Possible purchases: 1) 2x4s for structure? 2) possibly something to extend/move vent ductwork. 3) moisture barrier 4) new wiring (hopefully not)
Timeline: 1 day.
Project 2: Demolition of existing bathtub surround.
1) Pull down tile.
2) Pull down drywall.
3) Remove existing shower fixtures.
Potential issues: 1) Mold issues behind wall; 2) leak issues behind wall; 3) plumbing incompatibilities with new shower hardware (call plumber for this if necessary)
Necessary purchases: None for demolition, but we should have shower hardware before doing this so that we can compare it to what’s behind the wall.
Possible purchases: None.
Timeline: A couple of hours for demo and clean-up; possibly a couple of days if we have to wait for a plumber (can do other two walls while waiting)
Project 3: Construction of new bathtub surround/ installation of new shower hardware.
1) Install moisture barrier (???), cement board, second waterproofing layer?
2) Measure/drill holes for shower hardware
3) Mortar, tile, grout.
Potential issues: I probably suck at this. Measure thirty times before tiling once. Make absolutely sure we have carefully researched every step before doing the work; only one chance to do this right. Terror. Do we mud cement board before putting tile on? Assume no, but find out.
Necessary purchases: Cement board, screws, possible sheeting for moisture barrier/waterproofing layer (spread-on?), shower hardware, tile cutter (borrowed/rented), mortar, grout, mortar/grouting tools
Possible purchases: None I can think of.
Timeline: At least a full day; probably two, especially if we need a plumber before doing one of the walls.
***WORK CAN STOP INDEFINITELY AT THIS POINT***
Project 4: Demolish rest of bathroom
1) Carefully remove mirror from wall; take downstairs
2) Remove hardware from walls
3) Demolish sink/vanity (plumbing will be a pain in the ass, since I don’t know how to remove it)
4) Drain & remove toilet.
5) Tear out drywall behind toilet, where tub was leaking
6) Remove tile kickplate around base of walls
7) Remove door and door…frame?
8) Remove floor tile.
9) If putting in floor heating, pull drywall on wall that we need to run wiring through.
Potential issues: Removing the floor tile is expected to be a pain in the ass. Dealing with the plumbing to remove the sink could potentially be difficult. Hopefully do all this with as little damage as possible to existing drywall other than the piece we know we need to replace. Removing the painted door frame without damaging the drywall seems… optimistic.
Necessary purchases: None, unless a special tool is needed to remove the linoleum floor tile; unexpected.
Possible purchases: None that I can think of.
Timeline: Please, God, don’t let this take longer than a day.
Project 5: Fix rest of bathroom.
1) Install floor heating, if that’s happening. Possibly replace power switch on wall if needed.
2) Install new drywall as needed. Mud, sand, etc.
3) Install new tile floor
4) Install new vanity, including necessary plumbing hookups. In process, attach new sink to new vanity. Also attach new sink hardware to new sink once it’s attached to the vanity.
5) Install new toilet
6) Cut door to size for new flooring; reinstall
7) Install new framing for door (match old, if possible)
8) Repaint (before or after vanity installation? Hmm.)
9) Hang new mirror and new hardware
Potential issues: I have no idea how to do any of these things. Timing on painting. Electrical work necessary for floor heating may be problematic. Tile must be measured and cut perfectly the first time, and I’ve never done it before. Plumbing hookups on vanity must be leak-free. Toilet must be leak-free. New door framing must line up. Drywall needs to be proper size and look right when mudded. No good way to cut door down.
Necessary purchases: Mortar, grout, drywall, mud, screws, acquire circular saw (borrow), door framing, paint, new hardware.
Possible purchases: Floor heating unit.
Timeline: God help me, hopefully only a couple of days.
Doesn’t look that much different from the original picture, does it? All told I made very few changes to the original recipe for vegan quinoa & sweet potato “chili”; at one point I considered adding some extra tomatoes and almost put in two potatoes instead of one, but at the end the only change I made was adding a jalapeño, a decision I feel pretty damn good about and will be repeating whenever I make this again.
(Yes, I know putting sour cream in it makes it no longer vegan. Shuddup; that’s what the recipe calls it.)
One other thing: I’m renaming sweet potatoes. I’ve eaten many, many sweet potatoes in my time but haven’t actually ever cooked with them before, and from now on they’re to be known as sonofabitch potatoes whenever I’m referring to them. I was startled at how difficult they were to cube properly and they took so much longer than every other element of the recipe to cook up right that I think they were probably still a trifle undercooked when I finally gave up and turned the heat off. My wife has suggested that next time I put them in the microwave for a minute or two before I try to cut them up; that seems like a good idea, as we could have been eating fifteen minutes earlier were it not for the potatoes– I was originally thinking that the vegetable stock in the chili was taking way too long to cook off/be absorbed by the quinoa but I was actually adding water by the time I felt like the potatoes were ready.
Another casualty: I wanted to garnish with avocado, as the recipe suggests, but there were no ripe avocados to be had at my grocery. I bought one that I felt like was the closest to being ripe, but was quickly disabused of that notion when I cut into it; I had to throw it out. I love avocado but the dish doesn’t need it so it wasn’t a huge deal.
All told, despite the issues with the potatoes, this was fucking delicious. I told my wife I’d deny this until I died, but I think I’m going to admit it: I didn’t miss ground beef at all. Quinoa matches it texturally just enough that I didn’t notice it was gone. I’ll make this again.
Right, speaking of my grocery: they didn’t have ripe avocados (they had plenty that will be fine if I give them a day or two, mind you) but what they did have, to my great surprise, was dried ghost chilies, hidden away in a corner, literally underneath a basket of shallots. If you’re not familiar with them, the bhut jolokia, or ghost chili, is (or at least was recently; this is a category with a lot of turnover) the hottest chili known to the human race. So hot that chefs who cook with them have been known to wear gas masks while doing so.
I didn’t buy them; it took me a while to get over the initial “you can get these in Indiana? How the hell did that happen?” shock and by the time I realized what I’d passed up on I was out of the store. Now, keep in mind, I’ve never even used habaneros in anything before, so jumping from jalapeños to goddamn ghost chilies is probably completely insane.
I wanna make chili with them– hell, with one– and have some people over to see if any of us can eat it. With, like, pizza as backup or something like that, because, really, I don’t know anybody with a much higher tolerance for spicy foods than I have and my tolerance for spicy foods, while improving, isn’t exactly notable.
So. Yeah. Who’s in?
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