Oh screw you

10759207938205341276.jpegJust aborted a job application in midstream when it became clear that they wanted me to take one of those godawful personality tests, where you have to Agree or Disagree, or worse, rate your level of agreement or disagreement with an ambiguous-ass, obnoxious statement like “Although I don’t let little things get to me, in a big project I can easily get stressed out.”

Here’s my answer to your personality test, guys: I have a perilously low tolerance level for bullshit, both my own and that of others, and the second you start making me parse shit like that alarms start going off and I decide very quickly that I don’t want to work for you.  If that makes you not want me as an employee I’m good with it; I am absolutely certain that it is more your loss than mine.

(I am aware that they think these things represent something real or they wouldn’t do them.  I’m also well within my rights to think that maybe a fifteen-minute phone interview will tell them more useful information about me than whatever bullshit data their test spits out.  Fuck these things.)

Anyway.

Kitty passed all of her blood tests and was dropped off at the vet this morning for her dental surgery, so I’ve been staring at the phone waiting for the vet to call me and tell me everything went fine and she’s okay.  One mistake I made: not actually bothering to ask when the surgery was.  I headed straight over to them, cat in tow, after dropping the boy off at school this morning, and it didn’t occur to me until I was back in the car and heading home that just because they wanted her dropped off by 8:30 did not mean that they were going to immediately commence to yanking teeth out, nor do I really have any idea how long it might take to deal with a tooth abscess in a cat.  I strongly suspect they’ll end up pulling more teeth than they initially thought, as she’s had not-great teeth pretty much forever and I’m sure they’re going to find something else in there they don’t like.  I just hope to not be too completely broke when they’re done.

And also to have a healthy pet.  That too.

Hmm.  Last night as I was drifting off to sort-of-sleep I had a great idea for a politics post float through my head and I no longer remember a single word of it.  I’ll update when I get the kitty back and if I remember what that was about I’ll toss that at you too.   More later, in other words.

8 thoughts on “Oh screw you

  1. Holly

    Kidlet freaked over one of those tests when applying at Target. Chronic overthinking runs in the family and those things don’t help :/

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    1. That’s part of the problem: these things actively screw with thoughtful people. I like thoughtfulness! I want those people working for me! They always tell you to make a snap decision and go with what your gut tells you; well, I don’t work like that. My gut’s telling me “To hell with your test.” Is that what you wanted? 🙂

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      1. Holly

        I work in HR, the owner and founder of grey areas (even if we don’t want to admit it). Thankfully we don’t have those tests here (yet).

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  2. I haven’t had a job interview in awhile, but I’m afraid if I was faced with one of those personality tests, I would be soooo tempted to give them answers that would probably have them calling the local authorities immediately. Just for the hell of it.

    Hope the kitty comes through the surgery well. A sick pet is added stress you don’t need right now.

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  3. The only possible answer to ANY of the questions in ANY of those stupid personality tests is “it depends (jackass)”!! I hope kitty does well with her teeth pulling.

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  4. Of course those personality tests are accurate for measuring the applicant’s true personality. After all, it isn’t as if anyone could be intelligent enough to figure out the point of most of the questions and give the “correct” answers even if it isn’t how they actually think. (end sarcasm)

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