In which I say and think things I shouldn’t

CXzsl10WYAAR7Rt.jpgJust one drone-fired Hellfire missile.  Just one.  The military would never miss it, and I think it would teach an important lesson to the others who think like this sewing circle of Cheeto-fed halfwits about the utter futility of waving their dicks at people who have missiles.

At least when my people dress up like superheroes and go out in public we know we’re doing it.

But no.  I’m a fucking filthy liberal, and part of being a fucking filthy liberal is that we try to recognize when our ids are doing the thinking and not the more rational parts of our brains, and then we tell our ids to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up and go try and do the right thing.  “Kill ’em all!” is very much the conservative reaction, or at least it would be if these morons weren’t white.

(I watch with interest all the folks who have been insisting there is never any other option than murder when your target is a black child with a toy; those people have all gone surprisingly quiet.  Well, okay, it’s not surprising.  At all.  If these fucks were black or Muslim or– horrors!– both, half of Oregon would have been burned to the ground by now.)

So, as much as I admit that I wouldn’t shed any tears if it went another way, I genuinely do want the government to solve this peacefully.  Luckily, from what I’ve seen and read so far, #yokelharam seems to be doing a pretty good job of putting themselves in jail already.  There are obviously a lot of unknowns here, and I’m also obviously not a law enforcement officer so I am open to being corrected here or changing my mind once I hear new information, but honestly this doesn’t seem like a terribly difficult situation to resolve.  I’m hearing, for example, that this is their “supply room,” although I’m keeping my eyes open to see if anybody claims this picture is a fake:


So… apples, oranges, a boom box, and what appears to be a giant bag of cat litter or, charitably, maybe wheat germ or oats or some shit.  I assume, but don’t know, that the government has already blocked off the (one?  two, maybe?) roads leading up to this place, so resupply isn’t happening.  If they haven’t, maybe wait a couple more days to see if the honeypot attracts any more morons, then close the roads.

Then cut off the heat, the electricity, the phones, the water, fence the place off, fire some beanbags through the windows, and wait.  Keep the place under constant drone surveillance; if one of them tries to shoot it down, well, that’s another federal charge once they quit.  You wanna be really mean?  There’s a lake very close by.  It’s cold and rainy in Oregon right now.  It’s gonna stay that way for a while.  Spend an hour a day hosing the place down.  Knock out another couple windows a day while you’re at it.  See a generator outside?  Shoot it.

And wait.

These chucklefucks aren’t going to be there for “years.”  And there aren’t 150 of them, and if there are, they’re going to regret that quickly.  Because then sanitation becomes a problem much, much faster.  And even if that picture is a fake there is just no way they have enough supplies for that many people.  Or the space.


They’ll be fucking each other by the end of the week, eating each other by the end of the second, and rotting in jail at the end of the third.

This isn’t worth the life of a single law enforcement officer of any stripe, and honestly it’s not worth any of their lives either unless they’re stupid enough to start shooting, in which case I refer you to the Hellfire missile option above.  They’ve been pretty open in describing themselves as an armed insurrection even though the news media won’t (again: white) and since there are no hostages there’s not really a whole lot of room for innocent lives to be lost here.  Did you drive many miles to go live in a hut with a bunch of overfed slack-jawed cosplayers?  Well, that was dumb, wasn’t it?

And when they surrender, hit them with every charge you can think of, maybe make up a few for the hell of it, and toss ’em in the clink until the diabeetus gets ’em.meal_team_6_operator.jpg

Which, let’s be honest, won’t be very long.

11 thoughts on “In which I say and think things I shouldn’t

  1. “…would teach an important lesson to the others who think like this sewing circle of Cheeto-fed halfwits about the utter futility of waving their dicks at people who have missiles.”

    It seems to me that in a free country, in a democracy, waving ones dick at the ones who have missiles should never be futile, but rather a valid protest, a legit way of expressing frustration with those in power.


      1. Well, whether the dick is metaphorical or literal or whether you like it or not, it still belongs to one of your fellow citizens who seems to be involved in expressing his discontent over the behavior of his government. That right, that freedom is kind of precious and an indication that we still live in a free country with some respect for human rights.


        1. You either don’t know what the words you’re using mean or you haven’t been paying much attention to what these guys are actually doing. I invite you to correct either of those problems before you return.

          (HINT: The differences begin with the guns.)


  2. Yes, it should be resolved peacefully, 1). because an angry armed response just feeds these wingnuts’ desire to for martyrdom, which would then feed the overheated right-wing rhetoric machine of Mussolini-wannabees like Trump, 2). nothing critical is yet at stake– you’re right, there are no hostages involved and no immediate threat to life or limb, so the authorities can take their time, and 3). we need to show the world that we still live in a land of laws and due process, not force or coercion– which will give the lie to what these wingnuts believe.

    Protest is indeed a precious right, but these bozos are, in fact, preaching armed rebellion. Revolution is a right, too, but you resort to arms only when all other means of redress are exhausted. Washington DC is not the Capitol in Panem, not yet, except in the distorted world-view of these militia fools.

    Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Being an old fart (at 45 this month!! Noooo) that remembers Waco happening live on TV, I’m going to assume that the govt is taking time to ensure that it does end peacefully. Which may take a few days when you don’t plan on run in there, guns blazing, because they know from experience how badly that often ends.

    I’m not going to argue rights, because that’s not really what’s at stake here (and come on already, we’ve used that as an easy-out in arguments for long enough). It’s a bunch of ignoramuses hiding behind Old Glory and crying “you can’t tell me what to do!” when, surprise surprise, they can, and will, especially if it’s, y’know, THE LAW. And come on, it’s a just law. You broke it. Own up to it already.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. conservatives are really going to hate filthy liberal gavin newsom of California…who is pushing background checks for’s brilliant because it has nothing to do with the 2nd amendment..gun hoarder wayne lapierre and friends are already peeing in their pants trying to find suitcases full of lobbying cash to try to persuade other states not to follow


      1. Totally agree..personally, I have never had a problem with problem has always been the ammo and how the nra has created the perfect blue-print as to how to corrupt our politicians with lobbying cash and re-election victories…that is very UNAMERICAN..but our gun luving gun hoarders always seem to conveniently forget this little fact…and now other types of corporations are following the nra’s blueprint…


  5. “In which I say and think…” Wait, WHAT?
    Maybe you’re saying things you shouldn’t, I’m not going to make any judgement on that, but you’re a ‘Merkin, and you can THINK any fucking thing you want. And don’t you forget it, young Luther. (excellent post, hilarious and thought-provoking both. Plus a troll! Good fun for everyone.


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