I’ll be honest: if we were having coffee, the very first thing I’d do is point out that it’s the inaugural #SilerSaturday and hey my book is free at Amazon have you downloaded Benevolence Archives yet you really should no risk it’s freeeeeeee.
After that I would look sheepish and apologize and try not to bring it up again but I’d probably mention it at least once more because the book’s good dammit and if you love me you will download a thing for free.
After that? Parental and husbandly anxiety, mostly. My son, who is four, is enrolled at an insanely expensive private school that my wife and I can only barely afford, and that was before I took a twelve thousand dollar pay cut since my last job isn’t my job anymore. And he got suspended at the end of… well, not last week, the week before that, because he’s still pooping himself, for reasons that I’m not getting into right now (because coffee) but just trust me they make sense.
And my wife has been home with him for the entire time, because I’ve missed too many days of school already, and she’s letting me get away with the sort-of-excuse that it sort-of is. My kids have a math test this upcoming week and they’ve had a week less instruction than the other fifth-graders because I’ve either been sick or pulled out of my room to do something else so many times already. The boy is still inexplicably diarrhetic and he’s been back in pull-ups for the last couple of days after months in underwear, and we’re quickly getting to the point where we’re worrying that they’re just going to suggest un-enrolling him and trying again next year.
Now, my kid’s birthday is in August. He’s the youngest kid in his class. It would have been entirely reasonable to leave him in day care for another year (where they change diapers) and wait a year to enroll him in school. Plenty of people have made the decision that they’d rather have their kid be the oldest in his grade instead of the youngest, and some of them will defend it fiercely. We didn’t make that call, but there is a non-zero chance that we may be about to have it made for us.
And… hell, I’m taking it personally, I’ll be honest. This is a perfectly normal damn thing and I’m acting like he’s doing something to me, which he’s not, but… dammit. Insanely expensive private school, did I mention that? Insanely expensive exclusive private school. Like, I don’t feel like I belong there. Masters of the Universe type private school. And there’s a chance that my kid is gonna get kicked out because of poop.
It’s got me twisted. Really twisted, in a way I don’t like.
Eventually we might get around to the fact that I saw someone from high school this week who I haven’t seen in maybe fifteen years, and that’s still got me weirded out too, which happens every time I see someone from high school. I’ve not made a secret of the fact that I’m not super happy about living in the same state I grew up in, much less the same town. The conversation was perfectly happy and innocuous and pleasant, mind you, and even ended refreshingly, without the typical “We should hang out sometime!” lie that frequently accompanies these sorts of things. But… yeah. I’ve got a lot of reasons for my head to be muddled right now. I need to get it cleared out.
Download a free book. It’ll help. 🙂