Bleurgh

Shoulda written a post during one of my preps today. As it is, I just individually created and emailed 64 progress reports; I’ll do the rest of my kids tomorrow. My eyes are bleary and my head hurts and at least a third of these kids if not half are never going to open the email. One of them actually replied to it– a progress report, mind you, containing all of his assignments, his grades on said assignments, and the dates said assignments were assigned– and asked for a list of what he was missing and when those assignments were from.

My reply to the email did not contain the word “motherfucker,” and for that I deserve an award.

I’m going to bed now.

In which I cannot worry about what I cannot control

Progress reports for 3rd quarter come out today. These are the current grades for my 3rd hour class. They are not unrepresentative of the rest of my classes.

THREE day WEEK end (clap, clap, clapclapclap)

Pretty sure I’ve used that as a title for a blog post in the past, but whatever.

It was a really long fucking week, and not an especially good one, either professionally or mentally. My principal (who I really like, for the record) sent out a couple of emails at the end of the day regarding some walkthroughs that are going to be conducted next week and some expectations for how instruction should be going, and I read them and reflected on how I had to keep a seventh grader after class earlier today to make sure that he understood that if you have six pencils and you want seven you need one more.

That is not a joke, and the kid wasn’t fucking with me. At one point I literally put six Post-Its on the table in front of him and counted them and asked him how many more he needed to get seven. He said one instantly.

“Okay, what if they were pencils? If you have six pencils and you want seven, how many more do you need?”

(Pause)

“Forty-two?”

This has not been a week where I’ve been able to feel confident about my skills as an educator, let me put it that way. I have three days to get my head back on straight; I’m not sure that’s going to be enough time, and after several months of thinking yeah, it would be okay if I ended up doing this same job again next year, I’m very much in the mode of thinking that a night job at 7-11 might be a better use of my skills right now.

I’m not talking to anyone under twenty who I wasn’t personally responsible for the birth of for at least 48 hours. Hopefully that will improve things.

This is how much I don’t want to be grading

There is a new, canonical Benevolence Archives microfiction up at Patreon right now. I don’t update my Patreon nearly as often as I ought to but I’m also prone to not charging people during the months where I don’t update much, and there’s definitely enough content up over there now to justify your $1 or $2 every couple of months. So if the idea of more BA excites you at all, maybe check it out.

In other news, I am watching basketball again. IU is up four on Maryland at the moment with two minutes left; we’ll see if me posting that fact here ends up losing the game for them.(*)

(Yes, I have managed to more or less eradicate paying attention to sports from my life. No, I will never manage to eradicate being deeply superstitious about IU basketball. Never, as long as I live; it’s ground in there too deeply.)

That said, I’ve now blogged, written actual fiction, done a bit of light cleaning around the house, showered and gotten dressed today, so I’m much closer to an adult than I usually am on a typical Sunday and there is at least a chance that some of the ridiculous pile of grading I need to take care of is going to have some headway made on it after dinner.

Just a chance, mind you, not a guarantee. Just because I’m close to being an adult today doesn’t mean I’m a responsible one. ūüôā


(*) Did Maryland end the game with a 7-0 run and win by a point, despite the fact that I waited to post this until after the game ended? Yes, they did. Am I nonetheless responsible for the loss, even though I could very well have deleted the evidence and not said anything about it to anyone? Yes. Yes, I am.

An unfortunate announcement

to-do-list-learn-goal-failure1.jpgOkay.

I discussed this a bit the other day, but it’s official now:¬†Sunlight is on hold, and when it comes back it may not be¬†Sunlight anymore. ¬†I remain deeply unhappy with the manuscript as it currently exists, and it badly needs a massive restructuring. ¬†Basically a page one rewrite. ¬†There are bits of it I can salvage, but even those are going to need restructuring and moving around.

So I’m putting it aside for a while. ¬†The new goal– and¬†I¬†think this is possible, but y’all know how I am about hitting my own deadlines– is to have the next¬†Benevolence Archives book available by IndyPopCon in June. ¬†That’s going to be crazy tight, I’m not gonna lie. ¬†But I’m already 1/3 of the way to my target wordcount for it, so it’s not¬†impossible. ¬†I still want the¬†Skylights sequel out in 2016, but it’s going to have to be later in the year. ¬†I need to put it away for a while to get a clearer perspective on where I want the story to go.

The good news is that I’m¬†really happy with the stories I’ve written so far for¬†Tales from the Benevolence Archives. ¬†This is good stuff. ¬†You’ll like it. ¬†I promise. ¬†ūüôā