#Weekendcoffeeshare: Elderly Curmudgeon edition

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If we were having coffee, I’d be… Hm.  I’m not actually sure what I’d be doing at the moment.  This is a big week of transitions in my life, right?  I’ve been at training for the last two weeks, but tomorrow my new career actually starts.  I’ve been an educator since late 2000.  I’m a furniture salesman now.  Most of me is really looking forward to this but a big part of me still can’t help but see it as a mid-life demotion.  Will I get over it?  I expect to.  But I don’t know.

Oh, and also, I turn 40 on Tuesday.  There will be a whole post for that, and I don’t want to burn the entire Holy Shit I’m 40 And My Imminent Death Is Staring Me In The Face post on a coffee share, but there’s some of that going on too.  Or maybe not?  I’ve been telling people I was 40 for a year, as I mostly skipped 39.  I’ll be at work for eleven hours on my birthday, so it’s not like I’ll have a lot of time to get all kvetchy about things.  But maybe I will anyway?  Or maybe I’ll be OK with it?  I dunno.  I won’t know for real until it’s official.

Nah, if we were having coffee, I think I’d mostly be interested in looking to see if I could get you to indulge in bitching about fireworks with me.  Some of the neighbors put on, oh, a two-hour display last night while I was at OtherJob?  And it was pretty, but it was mostly loud.  And I got some of the clearest evidence yet that I’m getting old, because by the end of the night I was muttering Jesus fuck, ENOUGH every time something exploded nearby.  I sort of want to keep the boy up late tonight and take him to see something– we are in a shitty part of our timezone, and it doesn’t get properly dark this time of year until nearly 10:00–  but I certainly found that I could do without the damned things last night.

So, yeah, maybe the goal for this coffee share is to keep you talking.  My gripes are all pretty predictable at the moment.  How’s it going?

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Ignorance Edition

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If we were having coffee, we’d… I dunno, talk about Brexit?  It seems to be what all the cool kids are doing lately.  Trouble is, I don’t really know a damn thing about it, other than that I’m sort of tribally on the Remain side.  Every person whose opinion I respect who has been paying attention (mostly actual British people)– and I’m not joking, it’s unanimous— has been on the Remain side, and the one vocal person on the Leave side stole five minutes of my life the day after the vote to rant about immigration.  Generally, at this point in my life, “vote against what people who rant about immigration want” has become a useful guideline, as has “vote against what old white people want.”  Both appear to be on the same side here, so I guess I’m at least nominally on the other one, though for no better reason than a vague hand-wave and “those people are usually wrong.”  I can’t present, like, an actual useful argument.

I would be willing to bet an inconsequential amount of money that it never actually happens, by the way, if that’s something that you’d find entertaining.  Remember, the referendum’s not binding.  The UK hasn’t actually left the EU yet.

We’d talk about my new job, which is basically all I’ve been doing with my week on the blog, so I won’t spend much time on it here.  Needless to say, I’m halfway through the “training” period, and as of Friday was starting to feel like I was learning genuinely useful stuff rather than absorbing corporate policies that are either obvious (Don’t steal!  Don’t grab butts!) or bear little relevance to what I’ll actually be doing on a day-to-day basis.  I remain super excited about this and look forward to seeing how good I can get at it.  I’m just looking forward to having something new to talk about.

It’s a beautiful day outside, so naturally I’m planning on spending most of it inside cleaning.  I work at OtherJob tonight, but once we’re done with our coffee date I have at least vague plans to spend the rest of the day cleaning and getting some minor tasks accomplished around the house.  Tomorrow is an actual Day Off, and I’m hugely excited about the fact that I’ve worked for six days straight and that “day off” is a viable concept for my no-longer-unemployed ass again.  I’m planning on cooking dinner.  There will be corn on the cob, as late June seems like a good time for corn on the cob.  I’m not sure what else we’re having, but that’s a start.

How’re you?

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Major Announcement Edition

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If we were having coffee, I suspect you’d quickly notice that I was in an uncommonly good mood, at least compared to the last, oh, eight months.  Because good news:  I have a job.  Or, at least, I’m back up to my usual three jobs from the two I’ve held since October.

What’s the job?  Speaking broadly, sales.  Slightly less broadly, retail sales, but relatively large-ticket items.  It ain’t gonna be glamorous but I’ll be dressing nicer than I was at my last job and at least initially I really like the people I’ll be working with.  And, most importantly, 1) I can delete the “jobs” and “school” folders from my bookmarks, a fact that filled me with much more pleasure than the simplicity of the act might imply, and 2) I am not in imminent danger of running out of money and causing my family to lose the house.  Which… yeah, both of those are real good things.

This coming the same week as my brother’s wedding has me tentatively hopeful that 2016 is gonna drop the bullshit at least for a little while, but we’ll see.

Also!  You’ve probably figured this out if you’ve actually visited the site in the last week or so, but I’m going to be at Indy Pop Con in Indianapolis over Father’s Day weekend.  Specifically, Booth 722 in Artist’s Alley, which looks like a pretty primo location:

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I’m hoping those tables there are a common area of some sort and I’m not facing, like, the back of the food court or a stage or something.  This location is either going to be great or it’s going to be godawful; we’ll see.   At any rate: come see me next weekend!  This will probably be my last con appearance of 2016– at least, it’s my last currently planned one, although there’s a chance of appearing at at least one local event in the fall.  So I strongly suggest everyone reading this plan to run to Indy.

The conversation might turn to projects at this point, maybe, and we’d discuss how there are awesome hardwood floors under the disgusting, filthy pink carpet in my bedroom.  I’m planning on tearing out all the carpet over the next couple of days; pictures when it’s done.  Exciting!  Also exhausting.

So, yeah, coffee buddy, it’s been a good week. 🙂  You can fully expect me to spend the week after the con whining about how I haven’t had to work a 40-hour week in forever and I’m so tired and waah waah waah and all that sort of stuff, so be glad you got to spend part of the morning with me before I had to reacclimate myself to a working person’s schedule.

#WeekendCoffeeShare: Insane Idiosyncrasies Edition

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If we were having coffee, I’d be in a better mood than I am right now, because I’m not drinking coffee.  (Note that it is probably best to interpret this post less as whining and more as look what an idiot I am.  Calibrate your expectations accordingly.)

Our coffee maker took a shit a couple of weeks ago, developing a leak toward the base somewhere that necessitated its immediate replacement.  The new hotness was a more expensive & more technologically complicated edition.  It had a timer on it!  My wife was super happy, as you could set everything up before bed and have hot coffee already brewed when you get out of the shower in the morning.

Sounds great, right?  It also has an auto shutoff, meaning that there’s no more early-afternoon trips that feature one of us saying Did you shut the coffee maker off? because it automatically shuts itself off after some predetermined amount of time.  And for whatever reason I haven’t taken the time to figure out how the timer works and how it can be adjusted, which means that there have been several times since we got the new coffee maker where I’ve wanted coffee and not had any, because for some reason the idea of reheated coffee creeps me out.  Once that shit gets cold, it’s permanently undrinkable.

Note that I drink iced coffee every now and again.  If it’s cold on purpose, that’s fine.  If it’s cold because it got cold, it cannot be made hot again.

Yes.  I know.

That doesn’t make any sense at all.  I am aware of the problem and I have top people working on it.

I just wandered into the kitchen– yes, I know, it’s a quarter to twelve, shut up— ready for a hot cup of coffee only to be greeted with what was best lukewarm liquid that wouldn’t have been hot at all once I added milk to it.  Turning the pot back on or putting the cup in the microwave is existentially impossible, and making a new pot seems wasteful.  So no coffee for me this morning, again, because I’m too damn dumb/lazy to figure out how to extend that auto shutoff feature by another hour or two or, better, just disable it altogether.

I am not very bright, is what I’m saying here.  On the plus side, I discovered cold pizza in the fridge that I didn’t know was there, so the morning isn’t a complete loss.

How’re you?

#WeekendCoffeeShare: WTFNovember Edition

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If we were having coffee, I’d ask you how the election went.  Well, actually, I’d just look outside and see if the sky was raining fire, and check to see if I was wearing clothing or sackcloth, and that would answer the question for me.  Because apparently when I went to bed last night I slept for seven months.  It was gorgeous outside yesterday, or at least it was until the cold front blew through.  Now it’s 40 goddamn degrees outside.  I bought shorts this week and it’s 40 degrees outside.

Gotta love Indiana.

We– yes, we— have a bridal shower to attend in Illinois tomorrow, so we’re going to be out of touch all day.  I may post some fiction; I have a story in mind that I wrote in a single burst a couple of months ago and put aside thinking “try to sell this to someone.”   I never did, so I may as well give it to you guys.  Hopefully it’s warmer in Illinois; we’ll see.

Let’s see.  Anything else?  It’s been a pretty quiet week, actually, other than the job interview on Monday.  I’d kvetch about that some more but I already did it and I’m leery of jinxing myself at this point.  I should know in a few days.  We’ll worry about it after that.

Have you seen Captain America: Civil War yet?  If not, what the hell are you waiting for?  No more coffee for you until you’ve seen that movie.  It’s awesome.

Hmm.  Yeah.  That’s what I’ve got.  Let’s listen to Prince again for a while.  Let’s Go Crazy has been running through my head for a couple of days; there are worse ways to spend a cold Saturday morning than listening to good music.