So I discovered today that I can’t handle Costco. I’ve never been in one before, and one just opened nearby, and my mom and wife wanted to go, so I tagged along. I’ve never in my life had such a visceral negative reaction to a store before. I hated the place– from the fact that there aren’t any damn signs anywhere (even the bathrooms aren’t labeled) to the fact that the place where you walk in is nowhere near any registers to the utter fucking randomness of the layout– within a 15-foot radius you could find housewares, fresh seafood on ice, liquor, and piles of leather jackets, an item that should never be in a pile. I’d had enough after five minutes and told Bek and my mom that I’d be in the car; I had my phone with me to keep me entertained so they could take as long as they wanted.
On the way back to my car, it hit me just how much the place is like a casino. No signs, no markers, everything is set up to disorient you and keep you lost and wandering. And the $50 a year fee for the right to shop there as the icing on the cake. No thanks; I’ve had enough naked capitalism lately and this place, despite having a stellar reputation for how they treat their employees, is one of the most grotesquely capitalist places I’ve ever had the misfortune of entering. And I’m not even generally that down on capitalism, although it does get worse this time of year; it should be noted that the very next thing I did after leaving Costco was go to Best Buy and buy a new iPad. But, still… guh. If a store is going to try and manipulate my behavior I’d prefer it if it wasn’t so goddamned obvious. I don’t give a damn how cheap their diapers are, I’d rather go to fucking Wal-Mart, and I have literally never before in my life said the words “I’d rather go to Wal-Mart.”
Actually, that’s not true, because I still won’t be going to Wal-Mart. But walking into a Wal-Mart doesn’t immediately give me the creeping screamers the way Costco did. And note that all this is before we get to the fact that it was the second Saturday the place had been open and it was crammed full of filthy, stinking humanity. I’d have hated it empty; the people had nothing to do with it.
So. I’m crabby today, is the point. How’re you?
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Yes, I also hate Costco…
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So….you bought an iPad. Did that purchase make you, er, less crabby? 😉
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Not as much as you might think.
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I was crabby dealing with the crowds at Kohl’s. Hopefully I won’t have to go there again for six months or more.
Funny you mention Costco though; driving back from Kohl’s, I noticed traffic in the turn lane into Costco (left side) was backed up into regular traffic. That is expected in December but again, early sales have everyone out in droves.
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We can all thank NAFTA for COSCO, or are they a result of the TPP? I’m sure one of those PP’s has it’s hand in the cookie jar, somewhere. We’ve been outsourced and sold out. What do you expect? We are all being herded, be it through Government or Corporate channels. I think the days of ‘free-markets’ are over.
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My dad once came out of cosco with a gallon of cooking oil and a 12 tray of donuts, he only went in to use the toilet
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Ha, I like your ending; your points are valid, crabby or not. 🙂 I dislike BJs for similar reasons. Have you ever been there? Pretty much the same vibe, down to the casino methods of cutting customers off from the world around them. No windows, clocks….disturbing for sure!
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Old geezer here. I hate Costco, but shop there regularly. The savings is huge. Now you have to know how to shop Costco. We shop three different stores to get our groceries and sundries. Cosco has good quality meat and sea food, not cheap, but still less expensive, and it is better quality than what you will pay much more for in a Super Market. So we get coffee, creamer, dried fruit, nuts, butter, eggs, bread, meat, fish, at Costco for example. Stuff like white vinegar, smart water, toothpaste shaving cream, vitamins, are way cheaper. My wife could give you a better list. I get my drugs there, less expensive by far than anywhere else, oh, and no membership fee required for the for the pharmacy. Yes the crowds are always bad, we never go on weekends or Friday. If you buy the business membership you get all coupons automatically for all products included, pays for the membership right there. All stores even in other states are set up the same, so yes there are no signs, but after a while you know where they keep everything, and all stores keep it the same! Some small difference, but the Costco in Idaho looks like the Cosco in Garden Garden Grove Ca., I have been in both. I f you live in a small apartment, Costco is not for you, it is a warehouse store, so you have to buy in larger quantities so you need room to store. So it is not pretty, it has very little signage, no the registers are not near the door, but after a while you will realize why not. You can also get your hearing checked and get aids there, get your eyes checked and order glasses. Now if you want Persol frames, for example, will not find them, but they do have a good selection of frames. Your eye wear bill will be way, way, cheaper. So there is that. So the crowds are daunting, usually ever present, people in my neck of the woods tend to like to visit in the aisles and seem oblivious to your need to get by, but I am a big bull of a guy and my wife always takes me for my truck driving skills if nothing else!
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I am in the mood to share this, is how I am.
i have never been in a costco. I am not sure I have ever seen the exterior of one in passing.
What a disappointment, but I love that you said negative things about capitalism with profanity, while still managing to communicate that you aren’t really against capitalism.
That is the awesomest part of the whole thing! Well, that and you going next door to buy the iPad, heee heee.
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All the red in Target agitates me!
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Sorry sweetie but if your Costco is as good as mine you will love the rack of lamb. You will have to grill it though. Take a deep breath and go back to get some great meats.
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I haven’t been to a Costco in years. I don’t have any near me. I have been in Sam’s and it’s niceish. I’m not a big fan of stores like that but they are nice if you want to stock up on meat or veggies.
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