RIP, my original head

KP8RD8qGonna go get a tooth torn out of my head tomorrow.  I’m not looking forward to any part of it, for obvious reasons, to the point where I’m actually kind of embarrassed at how much it’s weighing on me.  It’s a wisdom tooth.  Those shits get pulled all the time.  It’ll be fine, and I’ve got an excuse to spend the rest of the day in bed.  How often do I get to do that nowadays?  This is a good thing.

Stupidest thought of the last several days: that since I mostly chew on the right (which may not even be true) I’ll have to relearn how to eat.  I don’t think so.  I’m pretty certain that people who have single molars taken out aren’t generally in need of physical therapy afterwards.  I’m just being ridiculous.  I am also certain that once the swelling goes down, if indeed there’s enough swelling to be worth worrying about, that my face will neither be a different shape nor noticeably lopsided-looking.  They’re not removing my jaw.


Keeping with the “it annoys me that this annoys me” theme…

I dropped below 10,000 Twitter followers this week, for the first time in probably two years.  In itself, this isn’t a huge deal; followings ebb and flow and I don’t think I’ve ever had more than 10,300 or so, so it’s not a big drop at all.  It’s mildly annoying, because I like that five-figure following, but ultimately it’s a nothingburger.

Now, that said: I worked at getting that 10K following, and I had several strategies that I used that worked.  It took under a year to go from a few hundred followers to 10K.  And once I hit 10K every single one of those strategies stopped working, and nothing I’ve been able to do since then has been able to push me above that 10.3K number I referenced earlier.  Anybody reading this big into Twitter, and have any suggestions that don’t involve actually buying followers (never) or premium access to one of the various Twitter helper programs like Crowdfire?  I don’t want to spend any money on this, but time I have.

Anybody out there know more than me and want to share?

Had a woman come into the store today looking for occasional tables, and in talking to her about what she was looking for she volunteered that she recently bought a 1600 square foot house, filled it with new furniture, then sold it “on a whim” six months later to buy a 4400 square foot house.

Which she now needs to fill with more new furniture.

Is it wrong that I don’t know this woman at all and I still feel like her taxes probably ought to be doubled or tripled?

Don’t read this post

awful-clipartIt’s not a terribly common thought for me to have, but this is probably beneath you floated through my head as I was contemplating writing this post earlier.  Let it never be said that I have any standards for what I’m willing to whine about over here, guys.

To wit: I’m at the point where I’m seriously considering contacting my local radio station and begging them to move their stupid advice column segment to literally any other time than the fifteen minutes or so where I am driving my son to school and am thus guaranteed to be in the car five days a week.

Yes, I know I could listen to something else.  This particular local morning show is terrible.  It is the worst station in the universe, except for every other station I could be listening to, most of which are less “radio programs” and more “war crimes.”  Sometimes I don’t feel like screwing around with my phone because I’m in a hurry to get the boy to school and choosing something to listen to makes my brain hurt.  And therefore just about every weekday morning I’m exposed to a crowdsourced advice column, starring a question by the stupidest people on earth and responded to by people who think those people need their help.

This morning’s question was about whether the flu vaccine was “propaganda,” for example.  Earlier in the week someone wanted to know if she was terrible for asking half of her bridesmaids to lose weight before she allowed them to be in her wedding.  These are always questions that a sixth-grader with a modicum of emotional intelligence should be able to answer easily, only apparently there are no sixth-graders with a modicum of emotional intelligence listening to the radio in the morning.  It is terrible and it ensures that I begin every single day by questioning the worth of civilization in general and American civilization (my opinion of which is lowering on a daily basis anyway) in particular.  I need them to stop and I need them to air their dumb program at any other time, or at least restrict the advice-giving to the hosts and not the howling apes who are calling in.

Also, I need to start an advice column, most of which will consist of me telling people that they are morons who should have solved their own simple-ass problems before writing to me.

So it’s been a shit weekend

middle-finger-poster-flag-6185-p…the kind where you get into a shouting match with a co-worker in front of customers that’s mostly your fault but is just enough his that you’re more likely to jump off a building than apologize, then go home early because fuck it and spend the rest of the weekend filling out job applications.  I am tired.  Tired.  Physically and emotionally fucking exhausted.

But hey, I drew a stupid little picture tonight.  So there’s that.

On things I’ll never actually do

51AEI3isFiL__SX327_BO1_204_203_200_Let me be clear about something, in case any of you were wondering: I have absolutely no intention of reading this book.  This is true regardless of how I acquire it, in fact; if anyone happens to give it to me I’m going to throw it away.  Until this person’s taking residency at the White House I was somewhat proud of the fact that I owned at least one book about or by every US president; I have now amended that to every legitimately elected US president, and this person does not get to dirty my bookshelves.  I don’t say his name and his stupid face does not get to appear on my website any longer.

It is clear from the excerpts I’ve seenI act that there’s nothing remotely surprising in there, anyway.  It was abundantly clear from the beginning that this person was manifestly and obviously unfit for the presidency in literally every way one might be except for being a natural born US citizen and over 40 years of age.  At this point I need no further evidence. There is nothing any book about him can do to add to my understanding of him; nothing has changed and everything was obvious from the very beginning.  So, no.  I’ve got enough bullshit in my life, and one of my plans for 2018, such as they are, is to spend less time letting other peoples’ bullshit into my skull.  So I won’t be reading this book.

I actually had a brief conversation with my wife earlier today about what might happen were I to try and eliminate paying attention to politics from my life, even on a short-term basis.  I’ve said this before; there would be a lot more political content on this site were it not for Twitter, which is where most of my politics talk has landed– which is probably better for everyone, as Twitter is better for spur-of-the-moment venting and I’ve already done the World’s Angriest Man blog, back during the Bush administration.

You know, the Golden Age.

I hear talk from people about how they’ve Decided to Unplug for a certain period of time; sometimes for a couple of weeks or a couple of months or much longer than that– usually this is in reference to social media in some way or another but sometimes it’s in reference to some topic, like politics, that is causing stress.  I genuinely don’t think I can do that; I feel like paying attention to this shit is something I have to do as an American citizen, and “unplugging” or “shutting off” for a while feels less like self-care and more like an abdication of responsibility.

I dunno.  I’m mostly free-associating.  I might do such a thing if I thought I were capable of it; I don’t think that I am.