Not what I expected to be talking about

215523086_nkkr6-XL-2I just, somehow, got sucked into spending half an hour reading this brutal-ass report on everything Olive Garden is doing wrong nowadays.  Warning: it’s a 290-page PDF file.  Second warning:  it is, somehow, despite being full of investorspeak and MBAtalk, startlingly compelling.

And, again, brutal.  Whoever was responsible for putting this together pretty much thinks that everyone who works for or at Olive Garden, or any other restaurant owned by Darden, sucks, as well as all upper management and most of their investors.  And he pulls no punches at all, ever.  What can I say; I love invective in basically all its forms, and this is some great hate going on here.

The funny thing is, while I don’t have any real animus against Olive Garden, I don’t particularly like the place either.  We eat there… yearly?  Twice yearly, maybe?  I’m a fan of Red Lobster, which at least used to be owned by the same people, but doesn’t seem to be anymore, and I don’t think I’ve ever entered a Longhorn Steakhouse.  So it wouldn’t be any real skin off my back if Olive Garden went under.  I know some people who might be upset, I suppose.  I’m not one of them.

I might miss the Penny Arcade comics, I guess.

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5 thoughts on “Not what I expected to be talking about

  1. So tempted to click that link, but I know it’s going to be like a rabbit hole that I’ll not be able to get out of. I’d love to hear some highlights. That said, I’ve never eaten at Olive Garden, but apparently my dad has big issues with the place despite the fact that my stepmom loves to eat there. Or perhaps BECAUSE my stepmom loves to eat there…

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  2. AA Payson's avatar Tony Payson

    Not clicking on the link either, but I can say from first hand experience that Olive Garden sucks. I got food poisoning there once, and decided to hold it against them forever. Olives don’t grow on plants, they grow on trees. Ergo: It should be referred to Olive Orchard, not garden. #dontgetmestarted #notrealItalianfood

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