The following things are all true:
- Two hours ago I owned not a single pair of dress pants. I wear jeans to work and I have had the same job for seven years. They have not been necessary.
- I am too fat to find a suit jacket in a department store. This is literal and precise truth; they carry nothing in my size. Not one jacket in two different stores. Not one.
- I am too thin to find a suit jacket in a big and tall store. They have stuff that fits me, but limited in quantity and style. Also, the arms are much too long always and forever.
- I am also too short to find pants that fit in a big and tall store. I have a 38″ or 40″ waist depending on the cut (I prefer roomier) and a 29″ (better, but impossible to find) or 30″ inseam. The B&T store had nothing shorter than 34s.
- I nonetheless have four hundred fucking dollars less than I had two hours ago, and no clothes that fit right.
- If I’d had more than, oh, half a day’s warning that there was a job interview coming tomorrow, I might have had time to shop more effectively.
I’ll let you determine what kind of mood I’m in right now.
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You know, stores like Men’s Warehouse actually tailor every one of your purchases to fit. And it would cost about the same. The local B&T stores do it too, but you have to ask for it (my dad is 6’4″).
My husband is 5’4″, so there aren’t a lot of options for suits that fit his ass either.
Not on an hour’s notice they don’t, unfortunately. Off-the-rack was my only available option.
nice! this post cracked me up – and congrats on the dress pants
I know its not funny …but it is amusing 🙂
Have some fun with your shoppint! You can get yourself a suit where you look awesome! I don’t know where you are but there must be stores that could make the clothes fit 🙂 Look it up at the internet! Ask all your friends! Come to Paris for a suit! Best of luck with your interview!
Absolutely hilarious and all the best for your interview 🙂