Good gracious, ass bodacious

nelly-hot-in-herreToday was a really nice day until around 12:30, when within the first fifteen minutes of my Algebra class starting the temperature in my classroom jumped twenty damn degrees and the weather outside took a serious turn toward hellishly humid as well.

Class didn’t go as well as it could have.

Entertaining fact:  Middle school students are idiots.  Justification: the exact same damn kids who refused to wear coats in the dead of freaking winter— and remember we lost several days this winter not to snow, but to cold— are now insisting on sweating through the armpits of their wool jackets because they don’t want to take them off.  The exact.  Same.  Kids.  Now, under normal circumstances, I’m perfectly comfortable to simply mock them from a distance.  Be an idiot; that’s fine.  But when I’m damn near choking on the funk in my classroom from your sweaty-ass bodies, and, worse, you’re complaining about the heat while you’re wearing that wool sweater… well, it may be that you may be chastised for expressing your opinion.

Mildly.  Lovingly.

Possibly with something heavy.  But maybe not!

And then the phrase “It’s getting hot in here, take off your fucking coat” floated through my head, with a certain cadence to it, and, well at that point I was done with teaching for the day too.

(Slight detour:  Teachers take a fair amount of crap for shifting toward a less academic, more movie-showey style toward the end of the year, and especially past standardized testing.  I would like to point out that that is at least partially because it is hot as a motherfucker inside these buildings and we hit a point where absolutely no one can concentrate.)

I have no idea how to contextualize my book sales so far in terms of “successful” or not except to say that I am tremendously gratified by the sales I’ve made and I still demand more.  I think I’ve got a goal of a hundred sales during the first month the book’s out.  I’m a complete unknown, obviously, so I figure that’s high enough to be a goal without being insultingly low.  Needless to say, at this point more people have “liked” the post announcing the book being on sale than have bought the book.  🙂

Point is: buy my stupid little book!  It’s $2.99 and way more entertaining than that amount might indicate!  I’ll buy you cookies!(*)

(*) I may not deliver them.  But they will be yours!

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Luther M. Siler

Teacher, writer of words, and local curmudgeon. Enthusiastically profane. Occasionally hostile.

7 thoughts on “Good gracious, ass bodacious

  1. How you tolerate middle school kids as Satan’s butthole opens wide in a small room I’ll never know, want to know, but applaud you for. slow clap
    Now I have that Nelly song in my head. Thanks.


  2. Thanks for the laugh ! p.s. the Hot in “hur” song is my absolute top most HATED song of all time and that says a ton !


    1. That is an absolute classic summer song: it has all the right pieces for summer fun: reference to temperature, catchy phrasing, upbeat tempo, suggestiveness; that song has it going on, until the break of dawn!


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