We went to one of the local Chippleday’s for dinner tonight. Turns out the boy really, really likes corn on the cob. I posted the picture on Facebook prior to putting it here; one of my friends said something about how great the kid’s eyes looked. That, folks, is the glassy-eyed stare of a hardcore addict. He had no idea there was anyone else in the room with him while he had that corn on the cob in front of him. I was concerned he was going to drop it if we didn’t cut the corn off the cob; silly me, the kid didn’t even put it down until it was almost all gone.
A side note: I’m fat, I know this; I’ve been fatter and thinner at various points in my life, and I will be both fatter and thinner than I am now at other points in my life. What I am not, however, is hugely broad. I’m wider than a lot of guys but I can think of quite a few that I know who are much wider than me– and I outweigh some of them. This is all just to say that the width of the urinals at Chippleday’s borders on criminal, in addition to the sin of being the purely evil toilet-bowl-set-into-the-wall style. I had to keep my arms in front of my body in order to fit, and had I decided to toss my elbows out to the sides I probably could have smashed the divider right out of the wall.
“Why didn’t you just use the stall?” is a question I’ll leave to smarter people.
Random, quick note: We’ve been watching our way through the first season of Deadwood for the last couple of weeks– which I’ve actually seen before, but not for long enough that I remember the finer details. I mention it now just to point out that I think I have a healthier appreciation than most for profanity well-used, and the dialogue in Deadwood is a fucking masterclass in how to use profanity in dialogue. There isn’t a character on the show that I wouldn’t be perfectly happy to hear reading the phone book so long as the show’s writers sprinkled some appropriately salty modifiers in there somewhere. I almost don’t care about the actual plots of the episodes; I could just listen to these folks talk forever.
One more note: I’ve decided to try and win this.
2 thoughts on “CORN!”
Oooh, hello, contest! I always have mixed feeling about submitting links to contests I want to try, because competition. But competition is a good thing, riiiiight?
(She says, adding it to the long list of contests she says she’s going to try to enter but rarely actualyl does. Ahem).
Also, corn on the cob is pretty epic. I grew up on a farm, so it’s a fucking staple. It brings back fond memories of selling it in a roadside stand, too. That’s how my brothers and I financed our Nintendo 64.
I am also a big fan of corn on the cob, so I know where your kid is coming from. Whenever we do have it I take the used cob and my dachshund on the back porch and she finishes it off like a mad woman, while my job is to rotate it for her.
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