I’m not entirely sure what put the idea for this post into my head, but once I thought about it it had to be written. I do a fair amount of recommending authors I like on here, I think, but everybody’s got those few people– sometimes they’re writers, sometimes actors or directors or whatever– who everyone likes but you, and in my case I kinda hate knowing that there are books out there that I haven’t read that lots of people like and for whatever reason I can’t get through them to save my damn life. So here’s my list: Great Writers who I Can’t Read. (NOTE: this is distinct from Great Writers who I Won’t Read, which is another, expressly political list.)
William Faulkner. My failure to enjoy William Faulkner hurts my soul, guys. I’ve tried to read, I dunno, four or five of his books? Absalom, Absalom!, If I Forget Thee, Jerusalem, and The Sound and the Fury, which I think I read all of. Or at least looked at all of the words of. Plus a couple of others I at least tried. I cannot abide nonlinear narratives, guys. I don’t know why; it’s a hole in my brain, and Faulkner loves him some nonlinear narrative. I desperately want Faulkner to be one of my favorite writers. I can’t do it.
William Gibson. Maybe I just don’t like guys named William; I dunno. I’ve read Neuromancer maybe three times. I’ve read several of his other books. I can’t tell you a single damn thing about any of them. And yet I still have this visceral “Ooh! New William Gibson book!” reaction every time something by him comes out. And then I either come to my senses and don’t buy it or I do and halfway through it I don’t know the main character’s name and have no idea what the hell’s going on and I abandon it, again, defeated. There’s a book of essays by him literally less than a foot away from me, that a co-worker loaned to me and insisted I check out. The same thing will happen. It’s depressing.
Charlie Stross. Speaking of highly regarded science fiction authors: I have no earthly reason to dislike Charlie Stross’ work. Every book he writes has a premise that makes me think I should love it. The man wrote a book called Rule 34, for God’s sake, which ought to by rights be directly in my wheelhouse. I am wrong, every single time. Even Accelerando, which may have the most brilliant opening chapter in all of science fiction, and made me think that maybe, just maybe this was the Charlie Stross book that was finally going to crack him open for him, fell apart for me by the end. Dammit.
Ursula K. Le Guin. Please don’t hit me. Again, I’ve read most of her major works. I’ve actually read The Left Hand of Darkness more than Neuromancer. Couldn’t tell you a single goddamn thing about it.
The greatest science fiction heresy, and the one I’ll stop with, because every right-thinking person will hate me once they read this? Philip K. Dick. Guys I have like eight of his books and I haven’t really liked any of them. Half the time I have no fucking idea what the hell’s going on. At least with Dick I know he’s writing them that way on purpose; my idea is that Dick’s books are supposed to be carefully pulled apart, which is not how I read, but shit, man, I’ve read shit by him that switched narrators mid-paragraph. Fuuuuuck that.
Okay, one more sci-fi author: Robert Heinlein. This one could be worse, because at least I liked Starship Troopers and Stranger in a Strange Land wasn’t that bad, although it didn’t exactly enchant me. My wife made me read Time Enough for Love, one of her favorite books; I despised what I read and I’m almost certain I didn’t finish it. She’s put The Moon is a Harsh Mistress on my unread shelf and is insisting I get to it; I’m secretly hoping I have reason to be hospitalized soon, because several days of being bedridden with no other options may be the only way I read the damn thing.
Outside science fiction: Ernest Hemingway. I may have taken a shot at all of his major works over the course of the last twenty years ago. I have failed repeatedly to understand his brilliance. I dislike not being able to read major American literary greats, have you noticed that?
Bonus Non-Author But Still A Writer Dude: Stanley Kubrick. I sorta liked The Shining. The first third of Full Metal Jacket ain’t bad. I’ve actively hated every other movie of his I’ve ever seen, and I spent good portions of Clockwork Orange literally trying to make myself die with my brain.
Sigh.
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I am not crazed about non-linear writers either, this is what stops me for reading Finnegan’s wake and Ulysses.
I can’t abide most Charles Dickens and Nathaniel Hawthorne.
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I agree with the Hemmingway and always felt guilty being a teacher and not enjoying his work. I’ve never tried the other authors you’ve mentioned. I feel your pain. There is nothing wrong with disliking the “greats.” We all have our preferences. I read authors (Jerry Spinelli and Gary Paulsen) who write great books and horrible books in my opinion. I never know what to expect from those two. I taught Middle School Literacy so tried to soak in as much YA authors as possible.
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OK, I love all those scifi writers, but get why you don’t. LeGuin took me the longest to learn to love. Despite rereading Hemingway at various stages in life (and even in Spain!) I can’t get excited about him. It happens. Also can’t get myself to like Salman Rushdie, except The Ground Beneath Her Feet. The rest of his books just lose me somewhere, though God knows I ‘ve tried.
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I am a huge Salman Rushdie fan. Have you read Haroun and the Sea of Stories? Very, very different from the rest of his books; almost like he and JK Rowling had a kid and that kid tried to write a Neil Gaiman book.
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Shakespeare . . . I think I should make the effort, but then I come to my senses.
I’ve heard a few people say he’s the greatest, but I just don’t see it; maybe if he wrote in English.
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The best way to read Shakespeare is out loud!
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You mean I have to hear it, too?! . . . I don’t think so!
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Ursula LeGuin? Try her non-fiction. “Steering the Craft” –might be relevant, even useful sometime, you never know. (Ok, I admit, I LOVE her appendix on verbs. Funnest EVER. If you write.)
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I love Shakespeare, Hesse, and Hemmingway. I’ll run from the room if it is Charles Dickens and Nathaniel Hawthorne or Mark Twain. I’m not a Stephen King fan when it comes to reading. I don’t care for his writing style. Love his movies. I don’t care for Koontz…everyone is different. I can appreciate concepts and imagination but not like the actual writing.
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I fell seriously in love with Ursula Le Guin once I was not so plot driven (the bane of my existence). She’s awesome. And sexy as hell. I’m not into American writers in general – I collect Australian writers, and what gets my goat is when you can see the creaky plot device in a writer who is supposed to be the best in THE WORLD. I speak of Tim Winton here. Fiction (not genre) and does a great turn of phrase but I hate lots about the way he writes.
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There are some greats I enjoy, not to be horribly cliche, Chaucer, Frost, Poe, Milton, Shakespeare, to name a few. Hemingway, I just…I can’t do it. I tried my hand at The Old Man and the Sea, mind you it was a semi-forced novel study in high school, it’s one of the few novels I have never been able to finish. Honestly, it made a half decent pillow.
The big one I feel bad about not liking is Anne Rice. Her style just isn’t something that captures my attention. Somewhere in all the detail my imagination walks off with the majority of my mental functioning. No matter how I try, I can’t get myself past Queen of the Damned in the Vampire Chronicles.
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I’m with you on Kubrick, I just couldn’t get into his work. I love Faulkner and Le Guin not so mad about Hemingway, as for the rest I will have to put them on my to read list and see how they fare!
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I don’t know if you’ve tried Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, but I remember it was required reading for my 9th grade honors English, and I actually really loved that book.
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I love it when people say, “You just don’t get it.” My reply, “Maybe there was nothing to get.”
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At least you could move yourself to read Left Hand of Darkness. I didn’t even come to page 100 when I was bored and clueless about that book. And I definitely won’t read anything from her in the future.
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Mmm, I love Left Hand of Darkness, and Neuromancer, and Dune, and all those weird dense things no one else likes. The one everyone loves that I can’t get into is Neal Stephenson. I also don’t have much luck with the classics; hate Hemingway, can’t manage Dickens, scared of Faulkner. I’ll keep trying, though.
I wouldn’t bother with Heinlein if I were you. Some of his early stuff is good, but his later work is all war paranoia and incest fantasy.
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I hate to disagree, but I disagree. All these authors are worth the effort. I find Hemingway excessively spare and sterile. There is no emotion revealed except by actions. It’s like watching a play with no narrator, stage directions, or Cliff Notes. You have to intuit everything. But when you do, A Farewell to Arms is emotionally devastating. The Sun Also Rises sucks out your soul and your will to live. Not the usual “fun reads”, I know… but statements about the human condition that echo through the ages. Profound and thought provoking. It works out your brain muscles like an obese guy doing chin-ups. Your muscle is sore for weeks afterwards. But you come back stronger the next time. It’s as addictive as running a marathon. And he’s like no other writer on your list. In fact, every one of them are absolutely unique and different from all the rest. That’s one of the things I like about them. I could talk about Chuckie Dickens and complex characters… or William Faulkner and extended metaphors… or how Shakespeare changed our entire stupid language into the many-petaled flower it is now… but I’ve already ranted on for too long as it is. So, here endeth the lesson.
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For the record, I not only agree with you that all of these folks are worth the effort, I’ve tried REPEATEDLY with most of them. I just can’t get into them, and it makes me sad. 😦
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Wish I knew how to explain to make it all work for you, but I’m an English teacher. We all live in our own heads and can’t possibly communicate with other people intelligently. But it says a lot about what you value that you tried (and tried again in all capital letters).
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