Tag: DC

Yeah, right

On By Luther M. SilerIn Blogwanking, Teaching, Television5 Comments

Today was very nearly my first skip day in several months until my wife pointed out just now that there was nothing stopping me from a one-liner before bed.  This may still be my last post until I get back from DC; even by my standards I am going to be incredibly busy between now and next Tuesday– tomorrow, in addition for all the things you might imagine I have to do on the night before a four-day trip with thirty thirteen- and fourteen-year-olds, is fucking parent teacher conferences– and I love y’all but there are only so many hours in the day.  I will genuinely try and get that HIMYM post up– yes, still angry– but I’m SO not making promises.

I demand that each and every one of you read through my entire archives.  Also, click here for a random post if you like.

(Oh!  Worth pointing out– I went to see my student who is in the hospital after school today.  She’s fine, for values of “fine” that include “in the hospital with several broken bones after being hit by a car.”  She was sitting in a chair in her room when I got there and not only didn’t appear to be in any pain but was actually more or less her usual chipper self– which makes absolutely no sense to me because her mother described her pelvis as “crushed” when we were talking about her injuries.  I either don’t know what “crushed” means or don’t quite understand how the pelvis works, because I feel like if that bone got crushed sitting in a chair would be incredibly painful.  But perhaps that’s why I’m a middle school math teacher and not a doctor.)

In which I travel

On By Luther M. SilerIn Teaching14 Comments

Because it entertains me to do so, and because I just got home from the parent meeting and am too tired to blog, here is the full text (well, almost, and some names altered to protect the innocent) of the notes I just sent home with my parents for the kids going with me to Washington DC next week.  Yes, this really is what I’m like.

————————–

DO NOT BRING:

  • Any electronics that have to be plugged into a TV to be used.
  • Laptops
  • Flip flops (see below)

These items will be handed back to your parents when your bags are checked, and you will probably be scowled at, but you will still be allowed to go.  Do not argue with me about whether your fancy-schmancy laptop-tablet hybrid is a tablet or a laptop.  Tablets are allowed but are NOT recommended, and I don’t want to hear it if yours is broken or lost.

ABSOLUTELY DO NOT BRING:

  • Cigarettes
  • Drugs, other than prescription—and those should be given to Mr. Siler
  • Alcohol
  • Weapons of any kind (I carry a three inch pocket knife.  I’m leaving it at home. Do NOT mess with DC security.)
  • Anything connected to sex in ANY WAY.

If you have any of these items with you, or anything else not on that list that may cause me to believe that you are planning on making stupid decisions on my trip, you will be SENT HOME.  No bus. No trip.  No refunds.  Period. There is no appeal process and I am not kidding.  PLEASE DO NOT TEST ME ON THIS.

Stuff to bring:

  • Clothes.  This includes pants, shirts, socks, AND underwear. Yes, one pair for each day. We will be on a bus together for four days and you are not allowed to smell bad.  Be prepared for a wide variety of different kinds of weather; the East Coast has been just as weird as we have this winter.   Pay attention to the weather forecast.
  • Bathroom stuff (toothbrush/toothpaste, DEODORANT, shampoo if you’re picky)
  • A collapsible (very small) umbrella
  • At least one decent outfit (shirt with a collar) for Monday.
  • COMFORTABLE WALKING SHOES. This may be the most important thing on the list.  DO NOT BRING FLIP FLOPS.  ACTUAL SHOES WITH TOES AND LACES AND EVERYTHING. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR FEET AFTER TRYING TO WALK TWENTY MILES IN FLIP FLOPS. 
  • A bathing suit (optional, possibly unnecessary)
  • A hat (plenty of places to buy these, but a good idea anyway)
  • Sunglasses
  • Sunscreen
  • Allergy meds, if you have problems—the cherry blossoms can be an issue at this time of year (give these to Mr. Siler)
  • Any other medications you need, especially if you are on any kind of ADHD medication.
  • A cell phone (essential)
  • Chargers for any of your electronics (there should be outlets on the bus)
  • A camera, if you are secretly from 1983 and your phone doesn’t have one.
  • Money for souvenirs (you probably don’t need much more than $50 or so, but I won’t be checking your wallets)
  • Feminine supplies, if feminine (someone will be caught by surprise.  I will have extra; you just have to be brave enough to ask.)
  • Exactly $3 as a tip for the tour guide. More is OK.
  • A healthy amount of patience.

THINGS I WILL HAVE WITH ME:

  • Basic medicine (some sort of pain meds, probably ibuprofen; a basic antihistamine, Pepto-Bismol or Imodium)
  • Basic first aid supplies
  • Sunscreen
  • Extra girl stuff

YOU WILL BE GIVEN:

A WorldStrides ID card on a lanyard that has emergency numbers on it and you are to wear around your neck for EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THE TRIP WHEN WE ARE NOT IN THE HOTEL.  You are not allowed to trade this for Jolly Ranchers or let your girlfriend wear yours so that everyone can see how much you love her. In fact, for the four days on the trip you are not allowed to have a girlfriend either.

IS THERE A DRESS CODE?
You are not required to wear your school uniform. You are required to not look like a slob, other than on the ride to and from DC, and I want everyone looking classy on the last day of the trip because we will be touring a graveyard and the national Holocaust museum.  Dress respectfully for the final day.  Saturday and Sunday I’m not as concerned about other than the “not a slob” rule.

THE DAY OF THE TRIP:

Be at school by 6:00 PM on Friday. The bus leaves at 7:00 and we need time to check bags.  Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones will be checking bags for the boys; Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Anderson will be checking bags for the girls.

Bring ANY MEDICATIONS YOU NEED along with clear dosage instructions for Mr. Siler.  We will decide on a case by case basis who I am holding meds for and who will be trusted to take them on their own.

Dress comfortably for the long bus ride. The “don’t be a slob” rule is suspended for the ride to DC and the ride home from DC.  I will be wearing jeans and a hoodie.  Sweats/pajama pants are fine for the rides to and from DC only. They fall under the “slob” rule for the rest of the trip.  A blanket and a pillow are also a good idea.  Note that on the bus boys are sitting with boys and girls are sitting with girls.

FOR THE BUS:
Pack an overnight bag (a backpack) with a change of clothes, your toothbrush/toothpaste, a hairbrush or comb, and your deodorant, along with anything you think you might need specifically on the bus. Some snacks are fine too, although we’ll be stopping a couple of times on the way.  Everything else should go in a suitcase.  There are fairly spacious bathrooms at the Hard Rock Café where we have breakfast on the first day and we will be changing clothes and freshening up there.

WHAT ABOUT THE POOL?  IS THERE A POOL?  TELL ME ABOUT THE POOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

Don’t count on it, but feel free to be optimistic. We’ll discuss it when we get there.

HOW TO CONTACT ME:

  • My phone number is (HAHA ARE YOU NUTS INTERNET NO YOU DON’T GET THIS).  Send me a text with your name RIGHT NOW (and whose parent you are, if your last name is different) so that I know who you are if you call.
  • You can follow us on Twitter @(address); if you don’t use Twitter you can still see the feed at https://twitter.com/(address).

 

 

 

WARNING: NERD CONTENT CRITICAL

On By Luther M. SilerIn Geek4 Comments

There’s a weird kind of freedom in today and tomorrow’s posts, because judging from the traffic yesterday and what I’ve gotten so far today, I can say with a fairly high degree of certainty that absolutely no one is going to read anything I write for the next two days.  So: nerd post.  Huge nerd post.  Unforgivable nerd post.

Let’s talk about what would happen if Hulk fought Superman.

Yes, that’s really what I’m writing about.  Feel free to tune out right now.  Or not, because you need to watch these first.  I just discovered these videos yesterday, since the most recent bit has just been released, but an animator by the name of Mike Habjan has apparently spent a good chunk of the last three years of his life putting these little CGI videos together.  Part one, I’ll admit, is not going to blow you away.  The next three, though?  They become progressively more and more awesome each time.

So, watch some videos and then I’m going to geek out:

Literally my only gripe is that Superman isn’t bleeding after the ass-kicking he gets in Part 3. It’s obvious that he’s in a hell of a lot of pain but there ought to be some visible wounds– although maybe that’s too much modification to the model or something; I don’t know– it still looks fantastic. What’s awesome about these fights is that they go exactly how you’d think they might– Superman uses his heat vision and speed a lot, and Hulk just sort of sits back and waits for Superman to screw up enough for Hulk to grab him, which results in the tremendous ass-kicking that Superman catches at the beginning of Part 3.  Superman, it should be noted, isn’t going to be terribly used to getting hurt— he’s got one, maybe two other villains who can challenge him on the level that Hulk does.  Hulk, on the other hand, you can hurt– it just doesn’t matter, because it’s going to heal anyway and because being hurt just makes him angrier, and that’s always a bad idea.

There’s two ways for Superman to win this fight, at this point, since “End it as quickly as humanly possible” is no longer an option:  1) Get Hulk out into orbit, where the sun’s rays are rejuvenating Superman constantly and Hulk doesn’t have any leverage to counteract Superman’s speed and eventually strand him on the moon or toss him into the Sun or something; and 2) play possum, and just hope he can survive the beating until Hulk loses interest.  Note that if you survive a fight with the Hulk?  You won.

The longer it goes on punch-for-punch, the angrier Hulk gets, and the more impossible it becomes for Superman to win the fight.  You cannot outlast the Hulk.  Superman’s reserves aren’t literally unlimited the way Hulk’s are.

Actually, one more gripe, but I’ve had this gripe with every incarnation of the Hulk ever because it may actually just be my idea– I’ve always thought that if we’re going to stick with this angry = strong idea for the Hulk, he should get bigger as he gets angrier.  His size has always been inconsistent; let’s actually use that.

Can’t wait for Part V.  🙂