Category: life

Still not okay

On By Luther M. SilerIn life1 Comment

Makyi’s funeral was today, and …

Nah, I can’t. Tomorrow, maybe, or maybe not at all.

Go hug somebody, y’all. I don’t even care who.

On hope, ctd.

On By Luther M. SilerIn life, Teaching3 Comments

You may– I suspect it’s unlikely, but you may– recall this August 2021 post about Makyi Toliver, a former student of mine and one I was quite fond of, who had been sentenced to 45 years in prison for felony murder. I don’t know if you know what felony murder is, but it’s a wildly unjust fucking crime. Makyi and a sixteen-year-old friend attempted to steal a gun from a third person, a bungled theft that led to the gun’s owner killing his friend and shooting Makyi at least eight times. This, somehow, led to Makyi being convicted of murder. 45 years. At 20.

I’ve corresponded with Makyi a couple of times– not enough, to tell the truth– since he’s been locked up. Yesterday morning I checked my messages and noticed that his account was marked as inactive. I didn’t initially think much of it; maybe he’d been transferred or the prison was changing providers or something.

At 8:00 yesterday evening I got a text message from another teacher who had also had him in her classes. Makyi was dead. As far as we know right now, he died from suicide. Why “as far as we know”? The jail and the coroner are refusing to give his mother any information, which means we’re relying on– wait for it– rumors and secondhand information from other former students at Parchman.

Makyi was a good kid. He was a good kid and he had an immense amount of potential and he didn’t fucking deserve any of this.

I hate it here, and I’m not okay.

Summertime has arrived

On By Luther M. SilerIn life, PhotographyLeave a comment

Okay, not really, there are still four days of school left— but the first Big Projekt of the summer has been accomplished. My wife decided that she hated how the porch looked (sadly, I lack a before picture at the moment, but I’ll see what I can find) so she spent the week stripping, etching, washing and repainting the floor out here, and I spent yesterday putting furniture together, and I’m pretty damn pleased with the results.

Four more days. Just four more. We can do this.

I slept for 20 hours yesterday

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I have a cold, and I don’t like it one bit.

I’m back (also, I left)

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, life4 Comments

I actually missed a day of iLEARN on Friday, as my wife’s aunt passed away; funerals are genuinely just about the only reason I can see myself taking a standardized testing day (especially a math standardized testing day) off, and, well, it happened. Yesterday and today I was in Chicago at my nephew’s birthday party. I have discovered something about my brother that has changed since he married his wife: if he describes something as a party, I am to take that shit seriously, and assume that it’s not going to be six family members I’ve already met. It’s gonna be twenty people and a bunch of kids and since I officiated his wedding they’re all gonna come up to me and go hey, nice to see you again, how have you been? and because I’m a social coward I’m not going to look any of these epos in the eye and dare them to produce my name.

(Everyone was perfectly nice, to be clear; her family is great, as far as I can tell; my brother married very well. That said I was not prepared for a ton of loud noise and adult mingling.)

Anyway, the point is my ass is tired, and on top of all this there’s some other shit going on where either I am a colossal idiot or my doctors have been seriously misleading me. All of this has eaten up all available headspace that I’ve got at the moment, and I still need to put lesson plans together for tomorrow, and after that I’m going to bed. My own bed. Granted, hearing the phrase “We’ve upgraded you to the presidential suite” Saturday night was pretty cool, but not cool enough that I took any pictures, and my bed is always better than a hotel bed.

So, yeah. I’m home. And I’m tired. How’re you? Anyone want to recommend any low-carb meals by any chance?

On being a grown-up

On By Luther M. SilerIn life1 Comment

One of my students asked me today how much I hated paying taxes, and I think I slightly blew the kid’s mind when I told him that I don’t mind paying taxes at all, because I enjoy living in a society and paying taxes helps ensure that. He didn’t press for additional details, but had he done so I’d have pointed out that there were probably examples of specific taxes that I wouldn’t be especially fond of, or taxing systems that I had preferences on, but the concept of paying taxes itself? No, I’m fine with that, and there are any number of reasons why I might, in theory, advocate increasing my tax burden with no argument. In fact, having voted for a tax referendum for our local public school system in the last couple of years, I have already done that.

Anyway. This is leading toward a humblebrag, so brace yourself as necessary. My tire pressure sensors have been acting concerning lately, and I have three road trips planned in the next three days, so rather than adding air to my tires for the second time in eight days and crossing my fingers I decided to swing by the local tire shack and have someone take a closer look at them.

And that ended up costing me $650 for four new tires. And that’s after a visit to the comic shop, and buying myself dinner, and a visit to CVS for certain supplies that cost me $60, meaning that I left work and looked at my bank account and thought damn, I did pretty well keeping my spending down this week, and then dropped eight hundred dollars in a little over an hour and a half.

This is where the humblebrag comes in: for the first time in my life, I don’t mind the tires at all— to be honest, I wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was “Well, you’ve got this giant screw in your tire here, so that’s the specific problem, but you’ve had this car since 2017. Have you ever put new tires on it?” I wasn’t certain that was what was going to happen, and I probably could have waited a few months if necessary, but I was able to look at a fairly substantial unplanned-for car expense and just shrug and pay for it because the money wasn’t going to kill me. Now, don’t get me wrong (he said, fending off the forces of karma), I don’t want any more unexpected $650 expenses anytime soon, but being able to just pay for that shit was nice.

The next couple of days are going to be busy– my wife’s aunt passed away and her funeral is in Michigan tomorrow, and then my nephew’s birthday party is in Chicago on Saturday, and we’re staying overnight for that so there’s a (shit!) hotel bill to pay for, but my classroom was a hundred and thirty degrees today so I’m happy to not be there for a couple of days. Hopefully Sunday will be relaxing enough by itself to get me through next week.

View from My Hotel Window: South Bend, IN

On By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, lifeLeave a comment

Why, you might ask, do I have a hotel room in the town I actually live in?

Because I have been sick and gross for two days, and our hot water heater shit the bed on Saturday. I determined today that I do not actually possess the necessary willpower to take an ice-cold shower and I am gross as hell right now.

So did I get a hotel room just to have somewhere to take a hot shower? Yes. Yes, I did. I considered asking my dad for shelter but I want to come back here before work tomorrow to shower again, and his place is too far out of the way to make that work, whereas the hotel is literally three minutes from my front door.

We do not, to be clear, intend to sleep here tonight. I have paid to rent the bathroom, basically. I don’t care about the beds.

This is, in fact, the entire reason I have a savings account. To deal with bullshit when it happens. And bullshit has been dealt with.

In which I’m in a better mood

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My son’s best friend currently lives in Indianapolis, and she was in town overnight last night, and today we met her mom in Kokomo to hand her back over. For those of you who don’t know Indiana geography, Kokomo is more or less a halfway point between us, and it’s also the site of several cons I was a vendor at back when I was doing that. The guys who run Kokomo-Con have a comic shop, and two doors down from the comic shop is a fairly massive vintage toy shop, and a couple doors down from that is a used bookstore, with a used record store in between that we didn’t go into because I am not about to bring physical music media back into my life. We spent … I dunno, probably close to a couple of hours browsing between the three stores, and I somehow didn’t manage to spend any money despite finding any number of things I could have bought.

The copy of Iron Man #1 — the real first one, from 1968– was awfully tempting, especially since I’ve now spent some time looking through other listings for that same book and the $660 they wanted for it either indicates a hell of a deal or terrible condition. It wasn’t graded and obviously I didn’t take it off the shelf and look through it, but that’s always been a book I’ve wanted to own. If I was into Westerns I would have been ecstatic about the used bookstore, which had tons of series paperbacks that probably cost a quarter when they first came out. I always go looking for old Tor Conan books from the 1980s and early 90s and I can never find any, and it was the same here.

Three different $1000 Funko Pops. I don’t even remember what they were. That bubble’s got to … uh, pop soon, right?

Anyway, we came home and I took a nap until around 8, and now I’m up and if I wasn’t sitting here in front of the computer I’d be pacing around trying to decide if I wanted to do anything with the rest of my evening or go to bed. Spring Break is basically over at this point since we just have the weekend, and I have stuff to do on both days, so we’ll see if I’m a maniac on Sunday or if I manage to stay calm for the next couple of days. After that, seven weeks of school and then year 19 is in the bag.

Should be manageable.