nameless whining

Made it through the job interview today without humiliating myself or collapsing into burnout, which I’m going to assume is a good thing. I did point out that I wasn’t a programmer and that didn’t instantly end the interview, so who knows, maybe this will work out. Last Friday I was thinking I could handle another year or two in teaching. Today, with nothing really happening in between that I could blame for changing my mind, I’m back in “I have to get the hell out of here” mode again. I think I’ve probably been spending too much time on Twitter; nothing is better at reminding me what a fucking awful place the world is than that app. And teaching absolutely requires optimism.

Meanwhile, I have an actual blister on the pad of my left thumb, right where I move the left thumbstick on my controller around, and despite the fact that I have literally been playing enough video games to give me a blister I still don’t think I’m especially close to finishing this fucking game. The fact that I’ve started referring to Elden Ring as “this fucking game” can probably give you some indication of where my patience level is with it right now, and I swear to God that if I don’t have this damn game put to bed by the time school starts back up again I’m just not going back to work. I haven’t heard anything back from my contractors about the door or the vanity, either, which means that I need to spend part of my Friday raising hell. I’m not looking forward to it.

Ugh. I feel like I spent this entire week in a shitty mood; I’m not sure if that bled out to everybody else or if I’m imagining it or what, but I’ve just been crabby all week. don’t feel like I’ve been relaxing, really– not that I know how– but I’ve been taking lots of unnecessary naps, which is weird.

I’ve blocked three people on Twitter while I’ve been typing this post. And I’m not even really paying attention to Twitter right now.


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Luther M. Siler

Teacher, writer of words, and local curmudgeon. Enthusiastically profane. Occasionally hostile.