Arglebargle graaakh argh wait what BLAH

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Flip the image over.

Ugh.

I had a job interview today, for a job I applied for on Sunday and got called about on Monday.  I walked in not entirely sure I was interested, became sure I was interested maybe fifteen minutes in, and then the interview was over at the twenty-five minute mark.  I am reasonably certain it wasn’t a fast interview because they hated me, although I feel like I really bollixed one of the questions.  I think the owner is just a quick-decision sort of guy.  Hopefully I made a good impression; I think I came off better with the second person I talked to than the first.  I’ll know by next week, apparently.

The question I screwed up?  What is your greatest weakness, which has gotta be fucking Interview 101, and which I stammered at for longer than I like before joking that my greatest weakness was being crap at deciding what my weaknesses were and then mumbling something slightly more useful.  Like, even sitting here now, damn near two hours later, I still don’t know what the good answer is to that.  I want to call the guy and ask if we can do the interview over only he asks any other questions other than those two.

My greatest strength is that I’m good at shit.  Like, this shit here, that you want someone to do?  I’m good at that shit. Give me some money so that I can do that shit and I’ll do that shit for you.

This may be why I don’t have a job yet.

Sigh.

27 thoughts on “Arglebargle graaakh argh wait what BLAH

  1. interviewing is such ripe bullshit, because HOLY FUCK YOU KNOW WHY I’M HERE I KNOW WHY I’M HERE ARE WE STRIKING EACH OTHER AS PEOPLE WHO COULD PROBABLY NOT KILL EACH OTHER FOR FORTY HOURS A WEEK WHILE I GET THE STATED JOB RESPONSIBILITIES ACCOMPLISHED PRETTY WELL IN EXCHANGE FOR A MUTUALLY AGREEABLE SUM OF MONEY OKAY GREAT WHEN CAN I START

    seriously, for serious: i got this job because i was interviewed by a company owner, a good-natured slob who scratched at his head and asked me things like had i ever been skydiving and had i enjoyed living in florida, and i was well-served by being honest and saying yes, and hell no. and when this job ends, i honestly and for real doubt that i will ever obtain another that could be considered in any way a ‘profession.’ because my tolerance for bullshit certainly hasn’t increased in the last fourteen years…

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    1. And that’s the thing, right? I got optimistic about this one because my initial impression of the two people I interviewed with was “We can get along,” and the job itself is in my wheelhouse and sounds like it could be fun. Fuck my biggest weakness. Whatever it is, it probably doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with doing this job, because people tend to play to their strengths in jobs that they deliberately interview for, y’know?

      I dunno. I’m mad at myself; I can’t believe I didn’t (still don’t) have an answer in mind for that simple question, and he asked so FEW questions that it really stands out to me.

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      1. and that’s why i can’t actually read any of this without becoming deeply stressed, both on your current, and my future, behalf. what is my greatest weakness? i’m selfish and lazy. but i need a fucking job and i understand what having one requires, so let’s move on to, say, my second biggest weakness… uh, hmm… um… oh! oh! i know! speaking out loud! in public! or private. or any situation wehre the onus is fully on me to provide the wordsounds in the room. OH, and: selling myself! or anything else! um, performance. dressing in costumes. um, using the phone. AND THAT’S WHY WHATEVER THIS JOB IS? i’ve already ascertained that it doesn’t require me to do any of those things, because i’m not a fucking moron, so can we also move on from THIS.

        it’s a garbage question, that’s designed to fuck you up. and you can do your interview prep and practice with a mirror and have your trite little bullshit spiel all polished and ready… and it doesn’t.mean.dick. and everyone fucking knows it, but they whip it out anyway, presumably because they’re not adept enough at their own jobs to think of actual, useful, incisive questions, so they fall back on timeworn inanity. because AMERICA. or whatever. thanks, obama.

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      1. see, in that case i’d go with, ‘i’m so good in bed that once? the guy DIED.’ that way, while it admits to the issue of accidentally killing someone, i’m presenting it along with a related positive thing. interviewers like that, it shows that you have insight into your shortcomings, but also the conviction of your strengths.

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          1. well, i mean, you could change it to ‘the girl.’ or the cheerleading squad… i mean, everyone embellishes their resume a little.

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  2. Brian Hall

    My stock answer: I’m passionate about my work. At times, that passion can manifest itself as over assertiveness. Which can rub some people the wrong way. But it’s rooted in simply trying to deliver the best outcome possible for the company.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Brian Hall

        Well, yeah. As others have noted, everyone understands it’s all bullshit. But do you want an answer or do you want to stare into space? You aren’t interviewing for teaching jobs anymore. You’re talking to people that want to turn your labor into either increased revenue or reduced expenses. Have to adapt and overcome. Giving a bullshit B-school response won’t be the worst thing you’ve done. Probably not even that day.

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  3. Interviews suck. I’ve been on my job for 17 years, but I remember that it was a very short interview. My boss asked a few unrelated questions (like, are you ok with dogs? He sometimes brings his to work), and then asked when I could start. I felt soooo special that I was hired on the spot. It was a couple of years later that I realized my boss has a habit of hiring anyone who’s breathing and if they don’t work out, he just goes on to the next fool.

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    1. Actually, I was pretty comfortable with the idea by the end of the interview. I’m mad at myself here– that’s a softball question and I should have had a good response planned for it. I’d be perfectly happy to get an offer from them.

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  4. I got stuck talking about my most impressive project… I think greatest weaknesses are a better (=less embarrassing) topic to get stuck on…

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    1. The funny part is I coulda knocked that out of the park, since half of what I do here is talk about what an idiotic thing I just did. Any time I can channel a question into telling a quick story, I’m golden. ARRRGH.

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          1. Achso…. 🙂 I read the plus as a t, but I didn’t even think about the ! being anything at all grins I still think they must have known when they made it

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  5. I’ve created a few stock standard responses to this question which include “don’t fence me in” and “public vs private persona”. Kinda fun. Strengths: I have many. I’m no superwoman but boy! I’m resilient, hardworking, collaborative, goal-oriented, flexible, empathetic etc. buzz words abound.

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