On what was not

Well.  That didn’t quite work out like I’d intended.

We were supposed to spend yesterday with family up in Michigan, watching my newest semicousin– my actual cousin’s kid; I get hazy on the correct nouns at that point so they’re all semicousins– be baptized.  The weather report for yesterday indicated rain turning into freezing rain turning into snow turning into hail turning into wolverines, and since we’d planned on a one-day trip there was some worry that driving back in the dark would probably be a bad idea, so we didn’t go.  Everyone already in Michigan was supportive of this decision, so either the weather was shittier up there or they didn’t want us around; who knows.

I woke up this morning to this:


…so, not so much on Snowpocalypse 2016 yet.  We’re still supposed to get a couple of inches today, and who knows what should happen if a lake-effect band should happen to park itself over the house, but we totally could have made it to the baptism, which is kind of upsetting.

Speaking of things that didn’t happen yesterday: I, like all of you, failed to win the Powerball, meaning that the motherfucker’s gonna be at something like $1.5 billion come the next drawing on Wednesday, when I will buy more tickets and lose again. I’m fully aware of the math; I just don’t care.  Are there people who should never play the lottery?  Absolutely, but I’m not gonna point fingers and I’m not one of them.  Despite my current out-of-work status the $15 it cost to buy a handful of tickets still counts as no money, and the possible exchange for all the money in the universe was still worth it.

It’s fun to think about what one would do with that level of money.  My one resolution whenever I’ve spent time contemplating it is that basically no one I know would have student loans left by the time I was done with them.  A slightly bigger house?  Sure.  The living space in this one is actually fine but I’ve always wanted a good basement and this house doesn’t have that.  My car is old enough to drive, so that would end up getting replaced.  And at that point I’m kind of out of ideas.  If I were to try and upgrade to the Holy Shit Mansion as opposed to “slightly bigger,” I would want an honest-to-goodness library room (bookshelves everywhere, comfy leather furniture, fireplace) and an indoor heated pool that somehow magically required no effort on my part to keep in good working condition.  The healthiest I’ve ever been in my entire life was a period of a couple of years in grad school when I realized I could swim every day if I wanted to.  That hasn’t been the case for years, though– the gyms around here that have pools are insanely expensive, inconveniently far away, and have shit hours, devoting most of their usage time to free swims or classes and not lap swims, so… yeah.

Hell if I know what I’d do with the other 500 million, though.  Buy the zoo, so I could bring the serval home whenever I wanted to.  And then probably go slowly crazy after that.

Well.  I’m going slowly crazy now.  I guess it remains to be seen whether the speed of the ongoing crazy would increase or decrease.

4 thoughts on “On what was not

  1. That’s too bad about the trip. Then again, I’m always a “better safe than sorry” type of person so I would have stayed home, too.

    Money. It’s almost unimaginable. I would get a house…a real one…I live in a mobile home. I want a house, not big, it’s just me after all. I want a house with an attic and a basement and a fenced in yard so my grandsons can play out there. And extra bedrooms in case people visit, which I imagine a lot would if I had that kind of money. But my most guilty pleasure if I had the money would be to hire someone to come in every couple of days to clean up after Messy Me! Yup! That’s the ticket!


  2. Well, it was looking bad. But it didn’t actually drop below freezing here in mid-Michigan before about 3 am, and it was raining all that time. We woke up to a light layer of snow and a big pile of cold, and a lot of wind. But that would probably not have been quite awful driving.

    It is looking to get a lot worse tomorrow, though, a lot colder and more snowy. Should be fun.


  3. If it’s any consolation, roads like that shut down Texas completely. We don’t even back out of the driveway when it looks like that. Unless, of course, it’s for a trip to the local Walmart to see if they still have anything on the shelves.
    And if you win that kind of money, you can pay some poor sod to tend the pool so you don’t have to any maintenance.


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