I’M MELLLLTIIIIINNGGGGG and also on fire

Im-Melting-Feel-DesainStatistically speaking, it almost has to be happening somewhere: despite the fact that the rest of the world is slowly roasting, the temperature trend in the Great Lakes region has been distinctly cooler than usual for the last several years.  Our last two summers have been unusually mild, rarely even getting into the 90s, and our last two or three winters have been brutally cold.  It is July 18; to my knowledge we have not had a day even hit the upper 80s as a high yet, and the words “heat index” have not found reason to escape my lips thus far.  There haven’t even been that many days yet that have escaped the seventies.  I haven’t worn shorts more than once all summer.

It’s been glorious.

It will be over 100 degrees today between 1:00 and 7:00, and I have to work at OtherJob, which means I’ll be outside for at least two or three of those hours.  And it’s not like 98 degrees is gonna be much better; it’ll probably be 10:00 before the temperature descends into remotely livable territory.  And that’s not “Man, it’s been a hot summer” 100 degrees, it’s a twenty degree jump from what we’ve been used to.

Give my wife like a week to get used to the idea after I die, and then y’all can come over and divvy up my books.

4 thoughts on “I’M MELLLLTIIIIINNGGGGG and also on fire

  1. Everyone at work has been all, “Man, but where’s summer?” and I was all, “What the fuck is wrong with you, this is perfect.” AND NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.

    I do not enjoy having to swim through hot air yesterday and will take more 60s to 70s please, thank you, silly Great Lakes weather. I know it’s par for the course, what with it being summer and all, but, geez, buy a girl dinner first, ya know?

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  2. The heat’s been brutal here. High 90’s with a heat index of 104-110 (on account of that famous southern humidity) for the last week and a half.

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  3. The temperatures here have been a bit mild compared to the last two years, but the humidity has been way up — a few times as high as 60 percent! (he said with a touch of irony, having moved to New Mexico from Kentucky, where 100 percent humidity is not unheard-of) We didn’t get any dust storms this year or anything — weird.

    The only thing worse than really hot weather is really hot and humid weather. I HATED summers in Kentucky: temps in the mid-to-high 90s on a “good” day, and humidity approaching 100 percent. It was like trying to breathe a swamp troll’s bath water.

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