Ha ha ha ha ha never mind

So, yesterday was a day, and it is a hundred forty degrees outside and I have already spent about half my waking hours in the pool, and you may disregard the entirety of yesterday’s post because why would things like saying I would like to offer you this job mean that you get a job, and I’m just keeping my mouth shut from here on out until I have signatures on shit.

I am tired and overheated and spent most of yesterday in an exceptionally bad mood and all I want to do today is play video games and not catch on fire.

Man do I wish I had been born in any generation other than the one that literally ended the world.

We’re all gonna die

Earth_on_Fire_Animated_global_warmingOctober 3rd.

5 PM.

Eighty-eight fucking degrees outside.

And they turned off the fucking coolers in all the buildings because “it’s Fall.”

It is a miracle no one died in my building today, for a variety of reasons.

In which reality and Twitter are both dumb

Screen Shot 2016-07-20 at 6.53.10 PM.png

So seeing this tweet from Kirsten Gillibrand got me all het up at first.  There is no way in the universe that Citizens United is going to be overturned in Hillary’s first 30 days in office.  It’s a literal impossibility.  Even with the most compliant Congress of all time, it’s not going to happen, because it can’t.  It would require either another court case to make its way through the system that would challenge United (but would likely not result in an overturn, since the court’s not that much different now) or an actual amendment to the Constitution, which cannot happen in a 30-day timeframe.

I had the blog post composed almost immediately, all full of Dammit, if Trump said something this stupid it would be because he doesn’t know how the government works, but I know you know better, so this is just a lie and a bunch of other similar critical-of-the-person-I’m-voting-for sort of stuff.

Then I clicked on the link, which I had actually missed on my first read of the Tweet, because I was eating and distracted while looking at Twitter, and what Gillibrand means is that Clinton will call for an amendment during her first thirty days, and that the “working to overturn” will start within the first thirty days, not the actual overturn itself.  Which is a perfectly reasonable thing and while perhaps not politically possible is at least a thing that the President is capable of doing.

So there goes that post in a puff of “do your reading, asshole” and Twitter brevity.  Sigh.


I’ve paid no attention whatsoever to the Republican convention and don’t intend to start now.  So I have nothing to say about that.


I actually went and looked at a car this afternoon, and pretty much ruined the salesperson’s day by refusing to buy anything.  The 2017 Escape does ride really nicely, though, and while they offered me what I’m pretty sure actually represents a good deal.  He said I wasn’t allowed to take the offer sheet they gave me home with me, but then left me alone with it for a few minutes so of course I took a picture, because seriously, dude, it’s 2016, don’t leave me alone with the damn thing if you don’t want me to have a copy.

Nonetheless, I will not be buying a car until I’m certain I can hand over the down payment in cash.  Which I can’t do just yet.  But maybe by wintertime?  We’ll see.


We’re supposed to see a 110 degree heat index on Friday, so all this is entirely moot, as the world will have caught on fire and I will have died by then.  So… I dunno, try to get laid in the next couple of days?  Because you may not have another chance.

Christmas Eve

The boy is watching the My Little Pony Christmas special, as is traditional.

Outside, all the trees are blooming, as is also trad–

 

Wait.

 

Fuck.

Miami (#FridayFictioneers)

Photo prompt copyright Dale Rogerson.
Photo prompt copyright Dale Rogerson.

“There.”

“What is it?”

“Desk chair, maybe. Plastic shell.  The metal might still be good.”

The scavvies pulled the chair out of the muck and tore it apart, discarding foam and fabric and setting plastic and metal aside.  There were whoops and hollers from both of them– the ball bearings in the wheels were intact, and a tension spring.  Sealed, so the salt hadn’t gotten them yet.

“What was this? Business district?”

“Maybe. Cheap chair; maybe from a house, before the Atlantic swallowed it.”

“Think there’s more?”

“We’ll look for another ten. Haven’t seen a sea snake yet.  I’m getting nervous.”

WORD COUNT: 100.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly blog hop hosted by Rochelle. She posts a photo prompt then challenges readers to write a 100 word story inspired by the prompt. It’s a fun challenge. Give it a try! Check here for the info then write your story and post it, link up and enjoy the other stories!