I need y’all to understand something: when most people say they need a nerd, they’re looking for me.  And I am vastly unqualified to perform this task on my own, so when I say I need a nerd, I need a nerd.  Like, nerdery is how you make your living.

Gotta be a couple of y’all out there somewhere, right?

Here’s what I want, and I can already think of three ways it’s complicated without knowing anything, so basically what I’m expecting is that the first person with any experience in app development who reads this will leave a comment telling me why it’s impossible.  I am fairly obsessive about monitoring my sales numbers, right?  I’m sure I’m not the only one.  But as of right now that means monitoring three different websites several times a day.

(“Be less obsessive” is not the answer I’m looking for.  I want a nerd, not a psychologist.)

I want a mobile app that monitors those websites for me, sends me a notification whenever I get a sale somewhere, and aggregates everything together in a bunch of lovely graphs and charts and other things.  If it can monitor royalties and ping me when I get a review, too, that would be superb.  Also an awesome bonus: exporting to Excel.

You can have all the credit for this awesome idea, which will surely make you a multimillionaire.  Go go go!