In which I tell a ridiculous true story

On By Luther M. SilerIn Stories

Gnat_1_(FFXI)So there’s a bug in my room.

I mean that literally.  Not “there are bugs in my room.”  I think there is a bug in my room.  As in one.

It’s not a scary bug.  It’s a little bitty thing, like a midge or a gnat or something like that, some little black flying thing that’s way too small to be an actual fly but otherwise acts like one.

The problem is it’s immortal.

I have to read before I sleep, right?  It takes an exceptional level of exhaustion to get me to simply hit the sheets and try to go to sleep.  My wife, however, is very much not like that; my wife can be dead asleep within ten seconds of pulling the covers up.  What this means in practice is that for the last six-years-and-change of my life I’ve been doing a lot of reading with a booklight after she’s fallen asleep.

There is only ever one bug.  I have never seen more than one.

It only comes out when I’m reading.  I’ve never seen it during the daytime, and I’ve never seen it when the lamp by my bed is on.  Only when I’m using my booklight.

And it lands on my book, then flies away, then lands on my book again, then lands on my booklight, then I get annoyed and kill it.  How do I know there’s only one, and it’s not flying away and another, suspiciously similar-looking bug is then flying over to me?  Because when I kill it, it doesn’t come back.  I’ve never had to kill two.  And I’ve never seen a second one after killing the first one.

Until the next night.  It takes 24 hours for the resurrection process to complete, I assume.  And then that same one bug will torment me again, while I’m trying to read, until I kill it.

This has been going on for months.

I’m not crazy.

I swear.

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10 thoughts on “In which I tell a ridiculous true story”

  5. adminlmg's avatar adminlmg

    That’s so funny! In my case it’s usually old potatoes in the cupboard that I forgot to toss… So yeah. I only see one, but there’s more! Not lately anyway thank goodness. I really like that bug pic, though!

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  6. I had a bug like that, only it wasn’t a gnat. It was a cricket. It would chirp and chirp and chirp all night thus keeping me awake until the wee hours. It would only appear when I had someplace to be early the next day. On nights when I could stay up because I had nothing to do the next day, no cricket. And I could never find the blasted thing. I decided it was some sort of demon who’s sole purpose was to torment me before any major event in my life.

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