What th’ heck just happened there?

HNG04Man, District Four, I just don’t know what to do with you.

I had an in-person interview today; the second round.  The first round was a phone interview that, I thought, did not go very well.  I was, frankly, surprised to hear from the principal yesterday; scroll down and keep reading to see some of the comedy that produced.

Anyway, the interview was today.  I had thought, from my discussion with the principal, that the interview was just going to be with him or, failing that, maybe their assistant principal or something like that.  Ha!  When the AP came and got me out of the office, he let me know that there would be seven other people sitting around the table– himself, the principal, and five of their teachers.  (I’m good with that, mind you– teachers should be involved in the interview process.)

I’ll give you two guesses about what the actual questions were like, and the first one doesn’t count.

Did you say “standardized”?  Good job!  In fact, a number of the questions were exactly the same questions that were asked in the initial screening interview.  I think some of them were different, and there were certainly some that were omitted from the screener, but a lot of them were word-for-word exactly the same.

That said?  I think I did well– certainly better than I did during the initial interview.  The presence of an audience makes all the damn difference; I am so much better when I have actual humans to interact/perform for, even if they’re not supposed to be talking to me.  Again, though, I walked out of the building without feeling like I knew anything about the school or, really, the job itself; there’s a “do you have questions?” phase at the very end, but actually asking anything is kinda weird, y’know?  They’re done with me; I’m not going to spend fifteen minutes interviewing them about a job I haven’t actually been offered yet.

I’ve got two more interviews with other districts next week.  One of them I think may be a non-starter due to salary issues; if I understand their master contract correctly there’s no way I walk in the door with less than a $6000 salary hit, which isn’t going to happen.  The other may be similar but I’m not sure.  Either way, I’ll go in for the interviews, it can’t hurt.

(The weirdest thing?  No building tour.  I have never, never been in an interview in a school that didn’t involve at least a little bit of walking around the school.  I saw the main hallway and the teacher’s lounge and that was it.)

We’ll see how it goes, I guess.

Infinitefreetime in the Character Blog Hop

Writing at my parents’ house this morning; they’re out of town and needed me to feed the cat, and all the stores that I need to go to/burn down in between now and heading to my interview (possibly naked, but more likely wearing the flayed skins of various Michiana-area clothiers) are on this side of town, so I’m just going to hole up here for a few hours.  We’ll see what I manage to get done.  In between now and then, let’s do us a blog hop.  Taylor Grace nominated me for this one, the very day I was complaining that no one had nominated me for a different one.  Whee!

Here are the questions:

1) What is the name of your character? Is he/she fictional or a historic person?

Ezekiel ben Zahav.  Call him Zub.   He is fictional.

2) When and where is the story set?

The story is set in the future– not far; a few decades.  I’m actually revising right now because it was written several years ago and events in the real world have already overtaken some of the stuff in the book.  I’m having to rewrite the prologue, which involved the Challenger disaster.  It makes me sad.

3) What should we know about him/her?

Zub is smarter than you.  Zub is smarter than me, which makes him an excessive challenge to write.  He’s also an aerospace engineer among other things which means that I have to have him smarter than me in a field I know nothing about; writing him requires a lot of research.

He’s also a bit of an ass.

4) What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?

Turns out the ship he personally designed to get humans to Mars and back didn’t quite do its job the way he hoped.  The second one, though?  This one’s gonna work.

5) What is the personal goal of the character?

Mars or bust.  Preferably not “bust,” that’s happened once already.

6) Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?

It’s called Skylights.  I should be seeing thumbnails from my artist today for the cover and I expect to have it available at least in ebook form by the end of the summer.  You’ll be hearing more about it around here as the publication date gets nearer.  I like it.

7) When can we expect the book to be published? 

Oh, wait, I just said that– later this summer.  I did make a substantial effort to get this one traditionally published, and it got a second look from a couple of agents, but that was as far as it got.  I’ll have it up soon enough, I promise.

Not planning on specifically tagging anyone– if you want in on this one, tag yourself in comments and go for it!

Fun!

middle-finger-poster-flag-6185-pThe following things are all true:

  • Two hours ago I owned not a single pair of dress pants.  I wear jeans to work and I have had the same job for seven years.  They have not been necessary.
  • I am too fat to find a suit jacket in a department store.  This is literal and precise truth; they carry nothing in my size.  Not one jacket in two different stores.  Not one.
  • I am too thin to find a suit jacket in a big and tall store.  They have stuff that fits me, but limited in quantity and style.  Also, the arms are much too long always and forever.
  • I am also too short to find pants that fit in a big and tall store.  I have a 38″ or 40″ waist depending on the cut (I prefer roomier) and a 29″ (better, but impossible to find) or 30″ inseam.  The B&T store had nothing shorter than 34s.
  • I nonetheless have four hundred fucking dollars less than I had two hours ago, and no clothes that fit right.
  • If I’d had more than, oh, half a day’s warning that there was a job interview coming tomorrow, I might have had time to shop more effectively.

I’ll let you determine what kind of mood I’m in right now.

Face to face job interview tomorrow…

…on less than 24 hours notice, so you KNOW it’s District Four. Which means I need to buy a suit. Tonight.

You can probably imagine that “buy a suit” is totally my favorite thing to do.

Totally.

WHY IS IT NOT AUGUST YET????

And GROOT GETS DIALOGUE:

(I’m not getting anything done today, am I?)

Infinitefreetime in The Writing Process Blog Tour

photoI have been nominated for a fair number of WordPress blog awards in the past year, and I’ve ignored almost all of them.  That’s not because I’m not grateful, because I am; it’s always awesome when people think of my blog in any remotely positive context, much less in a context involving a prize, but because I end up having to write the same post, more or less, over and over.  I need to start working on recognizing other blogs more often, and the awards help with that, but it’s not at the top of the priority list just yet.  (He said, smarmily.)

Anyway.  It stands to reason, then, that the one time I see a viral blog post happening that I want to post an entry for, no one nominates me.  🙂  So I’m pretending that Taylor Grace or Part Time Monster nominated me, and I’m going to re-tag Winter Bayne and Gene’O over at The Writing Catalog just to be a jerk.

On to the questions:

1. Why do I write what I do?

I write, loosely defined, speculative fiction— mostly of the science fiction and fantasy genres, with a smattering of heavily H.P. Lovecraft-influenced horror mixed in there as well.  Trouble is, for the most part I can’t keep my genres straight.  Those three were what I read most as a kid (and, truth be told, still do) so they’re what I associate “writing” with.  When I’m not writing fiction?  Well… look around.  My nonfictional/blog stuff is mostly about teaching, although I’ll write about anything that strikes me around here and my blog is frequently filled with nonsense.

2. How does my writing process work?

Blogging is first-draft, sit-down-and-go stuff, and once I can get started (which can take a while) if I’m writing nonfiction I write insanely quickly– I once pulled off a thirty-page paper in a few hours in grad school.  Got an A, too.  Fiction requires hours, days or weeks of “thinking” (read: procrastination) and is much, much slower, although one benefit of the advanced thinkytimes is that my first drafts tend to be pretty clean.

If I’m doing blog posts, nothing is required– I can bang out a blog post while watching my son and cooking dinner at the same time.  (And I’ve done that.)  Fiction requires solitude, music, the house to be reasonably clean, nothing else hanging over my head, and music.  I’m thinking of keeping a running soundtrack of my current novel, actually, which so far includes Murs, Mika, and Meg Myers, because apparently iTunes got stuck on M yesterday.

3. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

Genre-bending and humor, although I think tonally my work sounds a lot like John Scalzi, if John Scalzi were about a third as good as he is, and that might be overstating my abilities.  But, yeah, the genre-bending.  My series The Benevolence Archives involves ogres and gnomes and dwarves who ride around in spaceships, so I clearly don’t know what the hell I’m doing in keeping genres together.  My first novel, Click, was originally going to be a Conan-type barbarian sword & sorcery thing and somehow ended up with the first major scene being set in an antique shop on Milwaukee Avenue in Chicago.  Hopefully this means fans of either genre will like me; the darker parts of my brain think it’s going to ghettoize me out of existence.

I suspect I was bad at coloring in the lines as a kid.

(You can buy The Benevolence Archives, Vol. 1 at Amazon right here, if you like.)

4. What am I working on at the moment?’

Two projects:  One, a Benevolence Archives novel (the piece linked above is a short story collection and is novella-length) and two, an entry for the Baen Books Fantasy Adventure Award that is– eek– due in just a couple of weeks.  The contest entry is kinda giving me fits, because of the genre-bending tendencies I discussed above:  it’s wanting to bend toward horror more than I think a “fantasy adventure” story ought to, and I either need to rein it in in a direction I don’t think the story wants to go or give up on submitting it and come up with something else.  Which… God, who knows how long that could take.

(Oh, and random advice: if you’re going to take a picture of your workstation for a blog post, make absolutely sure there isn’t a credit card sitting on your desk, face-up, right next to your keyboard!  That is an incredibly bad idea!)

Transforming into a Greasy Lump: Progress Report

4507847940_4fe3b00225_mSo far, so good, actually.  I think I’ve hit upon a summer schedule, at least for the days when I don’t have the boy around:

  • 6:15 AM: Wake up.
  • 7:30 AM: Be dressed, showered & have boy to day care.
  • 8:30 AM: Breakfast eaten, morning BS procrastination completed.
  • 8:30 AM-12:00 PM:  Morning writing session.  Goal is 2K words on novel; extra time can be used for other writing projects, including blog posts.  (Realistically, a blog post will probably be first, but this is the schedule.)
  • 12:00 PM:  Lunch.
  • 12:30 PM-4:00 PM: Miscellaneous errand-running/reading/cleaning/SOCCER/lazing about time; possibly other projects (SEE: Bathroom, comic books)
  • 4:00 PM:  Wife returns home with boy; rest of evening spent with family.

I pulled this off once; I can do it four times a week for the next eight weeks… right?

Sure.

Oh god

So.

It’s 8 AM.

The boy is at day care and the wife is at work.  Other than the pets, I am home alone.

Starting today, for (roughly) the next two months, my job is literally-no-bullshit “full time writer.”  I am under contract to produce a novel this summer.  For money dollars.  And it starts today.  Now, technically.

(Looks around)

There’s gotta be something needs cleaning around here.