I just Tweeted nearly this exact phrase, but it’s still true: it’s nice, sometimes, to be able to deal with a piece of nonsense by just saying Bite me. I kerfluffled yesterday a bit; this particular kerfluffle doesn’t specifically involve me but I’m seeing a lot of reaction to it: Gee, a Slate piece says something plainly dumb and stupid (in this case, “adults should be ashamed to read Young Adult lit“) in order to act as bait for clicks. What a surprise.
Real simple: bite me. I could go longer, mostly along the line of you write about books for a living and I still read more in a month than you do in a year, or I’ll read what I want, but they all boil down to “Bite me,” so: Bite me.
All that said, let’s talk about The Fault in Our Stars.
One of my students (an actual teenage girl) turned me onto John Green earlier this school year and I’ve read all of his major works, TFiOS first. I had to specifically deny her a field trip (the fact that the book opened June 6th made that a bit easier) but I did make some comments to the effect of it’s possible that we might just somehow end up at the same showing at the same theater, somehow, because that happens.
I’m not seeing the movie. I was into it for a while, but it turns out that the movie has ruined the book just from the trailers and I’m not super interested in giving it more chances.
Let me back up.
One of the interesting things about reading books is that you can create shit in your head. Now, this allows you to selectively ignore certain details about books if you like; sometimes this ends up revealing things about you that you might not like– for example, all the outcry about Rue being black in The Hunger Games when Rue was, uh, black in The Hunger Games. Now, I wasn’t bothered by Rue. The movie I wanna talk about is The Green Mile.
You remember that one, right? Stephen King released it in monthly installments, they ended up casting living enormity Michael Clarke Duncan as John Coffey, and he went on to have a fairly impressive Hollywood career until dying way too young a couple of years ago.
John Coffey was black, right? There was never any doubt about that, and my reading comprehension ain’t bad enough that I managed to miss that detail. It woulda been kinda hard. But John Coffey lives in my brain.
The actual visual of Michael Clarke Duncan– enormous, bald, blaaaack Michael Clarke Duncan– dressed like an escaped convict, cradling two dead white girls, in 1932, completely killed my ability to watch the movie. Because John Coffey doesn’t survive that scenario under any circumstances. Period. It took the visual to drive it home just how ridiculous it is that they find this dude with two dead, naked little white girls and they’re all just okay, let’s bring him in and find out what really happened.
In Louisiana. In 1932.
Nope. John Coffey is shot to pieces and lynched on the spot and the movie’s ten minutes long. Him surviving arrest is less realistic than his magical healing powers. And quite possibly less likely.
Didn’t catch on to how ridiculous it was until I saw it, though.
Okay. Back to The Fault in Our Stars. Here’s the trailer, give it a watch:
I’ve got some issues here, y’all. They start with the casting and they sorta spread out from there.
First of all, I don’t know where they found this kid to play Gus or who the hell he is– and I refuse to look– but were they casting for creepy motherfucker when they found him? Because this guy reminds me of no one in the world more than Dylan Klebold, and I’m pretty sure mass murderer wasn’t the vibe they were trying to go for. He may as well have “date rapist” tattooed on his face. He’s creepy.
And then, from this man who scans “creepy” from the jump, before he speaks, we get lines like:
“You trying to keep your distance from me in no way lessens my affection for you.”
and
“All your efforts to keep me from you are going to fail.”
This is supposed to sound… romantic? I think? And I think maybe when I was reading it in the book it… succeeded, somehow? But holy shit does hearing a dude actually say that, especially a dude with this guy’s stalker-ass sociopath’s flat affect, turn the line into an incredibly clear signal that says run, run far, and run now, and do not stop running even when you think you are safe.
That’s– God, especially that last line– what somebody says to you right before you file the restraining order, girls.
And suddenly I really don’t want to see a movie that is supposed to make me celebrate these characters’ love. NO. He’s creepy and the movie should be about how she runs away and he accidentally trips into Mr. Wu’s hog pen.
Now that’s a movie I’ll pay to see.
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One the one hand, I think you’re being a little unfair…mostly because we can’t help the way we’re born to look and how we say things…sometimes isn’t in our control either, so judging the dude before we see the movie might not be fare and it could just be an issue with the editing of the trailer.
On the other hand…you’re right, he does come across as creepy. And maybe that’s because he’s a cancer survivor going after another person with cancer and his meathods…well, movie. movie play we judge.
Still, I’m with you, I probably won’t see this movie. On the other hand, I also refuse to pick up the book. Mostly because…it’s creepy. You’re right, reading a book you can glance over things that you can’t escape in a movie (love your Green Mile example btw). Like the fact that she’s dying. It’s one thing to read about the cancer and the oxygen tank and all that stuff, but you can lie to yourself and say it’s going to be alright. Seeing it…is inescapable, and leaves me with the sensation of empirically feeding on the last happy memories of a dying person and exploiting them for my own pleasure. Hel, reading it is just as bad for me, and I don’t want to do that. And while maybe her story deserves to be told, idk. Just feels wrong to me. So yeah, maybe the guy is creepy, but I can at least say he’s giving something back to her for what he gets, as an audience, we’re simply harvesting her for our own pleasure, and give nothing back.
so cynical. tsk.
i’m taking my fangrrrrll and her Free Movie Yeah Sure WTF brother to see it in just a couple of hours, using half a vacation day, because – and here i quote the text – ‘Apparently Emma’s dad is pre-ordering TFIOS tickets, so can you see if you can also do that? I MUST SEE IT ON FRIDAY UGH’, which, after i obtained said tickets, was followed by ‘IIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMM SOOOOO EXCITED IM GONNA DIE’.
i expect my mother of the year award to be waiting for me at the concession stand. because, i mean, talk about concessions. geez.
anyway. i enjoyed the book, which i read almost solely based on evie’s insistence that i do so (which is why i read most of the YA fiction that i read, although it in no way shames me to do so, even removing the motivation of I Have A Teenage Daughter And This Is A Thing She Wants To Do With Me, and fuck you anyway, slate writer. i read a bunch of ayn rand as an adult, too, and i’m okay with that) and i absolutely adore john green, for a multitude of reasons (in fact he usurped scott glenn on my Pretend Hollywood Boyfriends list, because scott glenn lamentably looks like a corpse now, but his alan shepard will always, always hold a place in my pant– er, heart… ahem. what was i saying?) oh, right, TFIOS. i would not be seeing the movie if it weren’t for evie’s deep, abiding, omgmamaomgmamaomgmama!!1! desire to go (see also the upcoming The Giver), mostly because… i mean, whatever. i just don’t have that particular film urge, and the trailer, though it didn’t give me the creeping skeevies as it apparently did you, didn’t really scream out SEE THIS MOVIE YOU WILL WEEP LIKE A BITCH (as did, for example, the trailer for man of steel, which itself had me reaching for the tissue box, and i don’t give a fig about superhero movies).
i don’t think i have a point, really, other than that i’m really glad that evie is such a dedicated, joyful reader, that she is invested enough in the stories and the characters to not just request but in fact demand that i share them with her, [and that/especially because] these books (at least the ones i’ve read… no level of haranguing will ever get me to read harry potter) are, for the most part, written without skirting sadness and loss and anger and confusion (and love and even omg loss of omg virinittyyyyy) which says to me that she’s thinking about them, and is okay with me knowing that. i wasn’t even comfortable with my mom knowing i was reading Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret. so again i say: fuck you, slate writer. sometimes it’s about more than showing off what highbrow lit-ritch-urrr you own.
I’ve never read TFIOS and will probably never see the movie. My main problem with the movie is the casting, the guy is just creepy and I’ve never really like the girls acting and have trouble taking her seriously. However I think the story itself has the potential to be good, maybe I’ll even pick up the book.
Ya know…This is how I felt when I was reading the book.The film trailer definitely confirms my suspicions.
I’m so glad you read this already. I was about to tweet it to you.
I sincerely appreciate your much-more-concise reaction to the Slate click-bait.
I also won’t be seeing the movie, at least not in theaters; not to pile on, but the book wasn’t my favorite, and those actors in no way resemble the Hazel and Gus in my head.
Anyway, I still want to like John Green. Could you perhaps recommend another of his books that I might like better?
My favorite of his books was Looking for Alaska; An Abundance of Katherines was good too. Paper Towns suffered by being the fourth of his books that I’d read in a short period of time and his schtick had run a bit thin by then.
Thanks! My library has all of those for Kindle, so I’ll probably read the one with the shortest wait list first lol
Awesome
First, you with the award for headline of the week.
Second, love the reaction to the Slate article.
Third, Haven’t read TFiOS, don’t plan to see the movie, but I love the point you are making about it.
Fourth. OMFG you are so right about The Green Mile. I feel like a chump for not seeing that until you mentioned it.
I read Paper Towns and have no desire to read any more John Green (though I do enjoy his videos). I found it lightweight, pretending to significance, and even though I liked the characters well enough, in the end it annoyed me. TFiOS comes across as misery porn, emotional manipulation, and sophomoric romance all in one go. I have less than no interest in reading or seeing it.
YA lit is just like any other kind; some of it’s crap and some is genius. I read Harry Potter as an adult and it remains one of the best-written stories I’ve ever read. Still, most teenage protagonists get on my nerves fast; I didn’t enjoy being a teenager, and I have no desire to relive a single moment of that time.