what is this I can’t even

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Did I just have to, as part of a job application, digitally certify that I wouldn’t provide any genetic material to the people I’m asking to hire me?  What the actual fuck is this nonsense?  How about you make the interviewers not ask for genetic material?  I feel like that might be more effective than making me pinky-swear that I won’t give them any.

(As if.  I walk out of interviews if I find out that there’s a piss or blood test required to get the job.  You do not have a right to know the chemical makeup of my blood, thank you.  If I’m impaired at the interview, don’t hire me; if I show up impaired on the job, fire me.  Incidentally: I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs, so there’s nothing to find.  I’m just not going to prove that for you.)

I did not, by the way, have to digitally sign an affidavit stating that I’ve never been convicted of a sex offense.  Just FYI.  You see where their priorities are, apparently.

I thought the personality test the other day was as weird as this was going to get.  What’s next, do you think?

5 thoughts on “what is this I can’t even

  1. pjsandchocolate

    You’re not pinky-swearing, although it sounds like it. You’re signing a CYA for them indicating that you’ve been informed of your rights and the potential employer’s rights under said act.

    Blood and urine tests are generally not covered under this act unless the employer is using them for anything other than drug testing.

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  2. This is a very weird request, and I don’t understand the point either. What kind of company would even refer to “genetic material” aside from a secret woo-woo research lab? Is this a pitch for one of your sci-fi stories, Luther? On planet Earth, liability insurers determine the requirements for pre-employment drug testing, not the employers themselves. Ordinarily it’s just for jobs where you have to operate machinery or drive.

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  3. Things like this make me kinda glad I got out of teaching years ago (although I’m fairly sure I’m not supposed to ‘provide any genetic information’ to potential employees anyway, what with me having been created in a mad scientist’s lab and all weird grin ).

    I agree with Mikey: this sounds like a pitch for s sci-fi story.

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  4. When you work for the Federal Government you must agree to be fingerprinted, randomly drug/alcohol tested, AND randomly chosen to have a polygraph test. You have no right to privacy, from the Feds – that is if you want to get/keep your job. So what’s a little genetic material? Next they will install microchips in their employees, so they can just scan them and bring up all their private personal information (a.k.a. PPI). This would actually save millions of trees and be incredibly efficient, so don’t worry – it won’t be happening soon. 😉

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