In which I turn into a pumpkin

ku-mediumOkay, so… the Van Damme .gif has some competition now.

I spent a few minutes yesterday talking with my artist friend about the cover for the book, which was sorta fascinating.  It entertains me that he has to read the thing now.  I have someone who has to read my book for his job.  I find that funny.  Anyway, there was talk of photo reference for certain things and he asked me if I had any strong ideas about what the characters looked like beyond what was on the page (mostly no, but I was picturing DJ Qualls every time I wrote about one of the characters).  He’s gonna read the book and then work up some sketches and we’ll go from there.

Let’s see… what happened today?  Not much out of the ordinary, actually, other than keeping a few of my Algebra kids through their seventh hour class (normally my prep) to coach them through a missed/failed test and then discovering the hard way that my brain goes directly to shit last hour on Friday.  Directly, horribly, painfully.  I am not sure I actually managed to teach anyone anything useful.  Lucky for them, I was on my game during their actual class, but the tutoring session… coulda been more tutory, I think.

I am seriously thinking about polling that class about the next book.  I’ve considered doing something with a YA tilt to it; it’s not like I don’t have access to lots of middle school students to bounce ideas off of, but on the other hand I’m self-publishing and I suspect many of them don’t do ebooks.  Which, actually, is probably something I should ask them. Hmm.  There’s also the minor detail where telling them that I’m writing a book using some of their input will probably lead to them wanting to read said book, which kinda runs counter to deliberately creating a pen name so that they can’t find me.  Probably ought not to spoil the whole point of the thing before I even do anything with it.

…yeah, that’s what I’ve got right now.  It was a long week.  I’ll try to be inspiring or at least interesting in the next post.  🙂

Awwww, buppins

photoContemplation Dog thinks I should clean my carpet.

 

In which I have a name now

tumblr_n0l9acNAyx1ts8u03o1_500The more eagle-eyed (or obsessive) among you may have noticed: I’ve got a new page up there in the masthead, called “Contact Me,” and it’s got a person’s name on it!  Luther Siler!  Whoa!  Who’s that??

It ain’t me, obviously– or at least not my real name– but I figured what with the grant actually becoming a thing that happened I may as well go live with the pen name.  I can be reached at that email address, the more discerning of you are already subscribed to my Twitter feed, and… well, there’s also the Facebook page.

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The name, by the way, was selected because it’s a combination of a couple of family names (neither of them mine) and, importantly, a perfectly clean Google/Facebook/internet record.  Plus it’s right next to “Scalzi” and “Stross” and “Sanderson” and not far from “Tolkien” on bookshelves, which is all I suspect Of the Good if indeed anything I write ever makes it to real bookshelves in real bookstores where such things might actually matter.

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I’ll be honest: I’m not exactly sure what to do with Luther’s Facebook page at the moment, but it’s there.  I went ahead and claimed the Facebook page with his name on it and it’s available if you want to send a friend request but I don’t see myself posting much there yet.  I don’t like Facebook in general and most of what I’ve come up with that I might put there is stuff that would be duplicated with the blog and with Twitter, but who knows, maybe once there’s some more stuff to talk about I might put it over there too, and lots of people live on Facebook anyway, so… yeah.  I’m there.  I’ll accept friend requests.  Just don’t expect a lot of activity yet.

Feel free to call me “Luther,” by the way, if you want to.   The fact that it’s a pen name is going to be a fairly open secret but a few people have already commented that calling me infinitefreetime is more than a little unwieldy, so if you want to gravitate to a name I may as well get used to responding to it.

(And, by the way, if you don’t recognize the series of pictures on this post, dear God get yourself to a television and find a way to watch True Detective, which may be the best TV series ever, or is at least my favorite TV series right now.  It’s at least a little bit responsible for the story I posted earlier today, too, which seems to be getting a gratifyingly positive response.)

“Balremesh”

My name is Montgomery Vale, and I do not believe in magic.

I repeat myself:  I do not believe in magic.

I do not believe in magic, and therefore nothing I am about to write can be true.  I am an old man, asleep in my bed, and the night’s ill humours are clearly affecting my dreams.  I write to calm my nerves, to simply record the events of recent hours.  For if I am sane—if any of this has truly happened—I must leave warning for others.

I write because I may be insane, for surely none of this can have happened.

I write because the door must not be opened.

 It seems ages ago that I found the book, but it can scarcely have been more than a day.  I found it in my own library, on the floor by the fireplace.  It was a massive tome, five inches thick, bound in a curious, tooled leather.  The cover bore a nameplate of a cracked material I could not identify bearing a single word:  Balremesh. 

I hesitated to open the book at first.  Something about it seemed to warn me away.  An unusual thought possessed me: I felt as if the thing hated me.  At the time, I dismissed it, believing myself foolish.  I set the book—heavier than it should have been—on my writing-desk and examined it.  It was warm to the touch, no doubt from its proximity to the fire.  It was, as I have said, bound in a dry, old, dark-stained leather that flaked away under pressure, engraved deeply with arcane signs and symbols such like I had never seen.  Horrid carvings of alien, mutated insects and other crawling things, rendered in extraordinary detail, adorned the spine and the edges.    The pages, hundreds of them, thick and discolored, were gilded with a reddish material.  It was incredibly old.

Did the fire dim as I opened the book?  I thought that it did.  The fire went down and the darkness in the room increased, became a palpable thing, eager to peruse the book alongside me.  And that sound!  A sigh, perhaps, or a muted moan, no doubt from a servant in another room, or a mere figment of my imagination.  Even then, as I first opened it, the laws of reality seemed changed.  A book does not sigh, and its opening does not suppress the light of the fire.  It does not because it can not.

I did not, at first, recognize the language the book was scribed in.  I say “scribed” because surely no printer’s press could have produced these lines of script; irregular, slanted, sometimes running across one another, all in a thin ink more red than black.  The script seemed varied; sometimes cramped and blocky and in other places more fluid and open, in a number of different hands, obviously the work of madmen or deviants.

At first.

And then… and then, the text changed.  It swam under my eyes, turned, and emerged as readable, if untrained, English.  I recall blinking, rubbing my eyes.  I recall the impression that I had simply not been looking at the words correctly, feeling that the text had adjusted itself to my deficiencies and made itself manifest to my flawed eyes.  Why did I not consign it to the flames then and there?  I could have; the book held no control over me at that time.  Or perhaps it did; perhaps I could never have destroyed it at all.

I know not how long I read last night.  I remember none of it; I only remember awakening, hours later, still at my desk, the Balremesh opened to blank pages beneath me.  I know I slept but fitfully, my dreaming filled with confined, dark spaces and small, dangerous things, hidden carefully in corners, which skittered away when looked for.  I leafed through the book again to discover the pages entirely empty.  The leaves of the book remained mottled, stained with age and other nameless substances, but not a single one now bore any writing in any language.

I remembered but a single phrase, rendered in an alien tongue yet somehow perfectly understandable.  Baal-Ramash y’gthul khatevish paan m’qthakk.  Welcome, revealer, Baal-Ramash, scourge of sin.  I remember it as clearly as my own name; as clearly as my mother’s face.

I am to open the door.  I am to be the revealer of Baal-Ramash.  Baal-Ramash y’gthul khatevish paan m’qthakk.  But I must not.  I must not open the door!

But I outpace myself.  There is more of the tale yet to be told, before the door.

I closed the book and abandoned my writing-desk, intending to leave the foul thing and my library behind for a time.  And then, somehow, suddenly, I found myself seated again, the book opened, the pages as stubbornly blank as before.

I tried again.  I made it as far as the exit to the hallway.  My hand reached for the door handle… and stopped.  The book.  Was the book closed, as it should be?  I returned to my desk and closed the book.  The insectoid creatures on the spine seemed more numerous and more malevolent than ever, and seemed to stare at me.  I again turned to leave.

The book slid from my writing-desk, landed on its back, open again.

But, this time, the book once again bore an inscription.  Written in a bold, broad hand that seemed scorched into the paper, in a single line spread across both of the pages, that same arcane phrase that had burned itself into my memory:  Baal-Ramash y’gthul khatevish paan m’qthakk.  Welcome, revealer, Baal-Ramash, scourge of sin.  And below, a woodcut drawing of thousands upon thousands of specimens of the degenerate, mutated horde.

It was then that the sounds began.

At first, they were subtle, whispers and moans hovering just above the threshold of what my ears could detect; always behind me, concealed by one of the shelves of my library or in some shadowed place the fire’s light left untouched.  Soon enough they grew to include other sounds; clattering in the walls and the floor, and the mad scramblings of dozens of diminutive invaders that sight and touch would or could not reveal.  At times I nearly saw them—always, always in the corners of the room, or the dark angles between bookshelves.  And always they disappeared as I drew closer.

I do not know when the door appeared.

It may be that it has always been there.  It may be that it revealed itself when I first opened the Balremesh, or that the my night of unremembered reading somehow summoned it.  It is there now, however—an ornate, stone door, with the same plate on its face as the cover of the book, and the same word:  Balremesh.

It floats in the air, just before my fireplace, in the same spot where I first discovered the accursed book itself.  But it cannot.  It floats in the air without stand or hanging-wire as if perfectly natural.  But such a thing cannot be.  There is a handle.  I know in my soul that the door is not locked, that I need only to reach out and take the handle and the door will open.  But how, and to what?

I know that I am to open the door.  The book wants me to open the door.  It demands that I obey it.  The sounds grow louder; the creatures no longer take such care to keep from my sight.  Baal-Ramash y’gthul khatevish paan m’qthakk.  Welcome, revealer, Baal-Ramash, scourge of sin.

In truth it can make no difference.  I do not believe in magic, or spectral doors, or the strange creatures that emerge from blank books in the dead of night.  None of this can be true.  I am surely dreaming, and I will awaken in my bed or, perhaps, in my reading-chair in front of the fireplace.

I know that I am to open the door, and I know that I must not open the door.

I must not.

I must not open the door.

But I will.

Is it August yet?

I’m going out to dinner to celebrate yesterday’s wonderfulness, so there won’t be a post until late.  Until then, tide yourself over with today’s wonderfulness, which is better than my wonderfulness in any event.

On the future/ in which I’ve calmed down a bit

Jean-Claude-Van-DammeI have an awful lot of .gif files of people dancing, but this one is absolutely my all-time favorite, for, like, every reasons.

So.  Ten thousand dollars.  Ten thousand dollars.  Ten thousand dollars.  Ten thousand dollars.  Yep, it sounds awesome no matter how I phrase it.

This is kind of a big deal, guys.

Let’s start with an announcement:  Just as soon as my commissioned artist (one of the things the grant will pay for) completes the cover, my science fiction near future novel Skylights will be available as a self-published ebook, on Amazon.com and wherever else I can convince to host it.  I will obviously be promoting the hell out of that here and wherever else I can; don’t worry about somehow accidentally missing the release.  It’ll also be permanently linked from the masthead of this site.

This isn’t hypothetical.  This isn’t “when I get around to it,” or “when I finish this one more thing,” or “when I decide it’s perfect.”  This is happening because it’s part of the grant and I am literally under contract and if I don’t do it I gotta give the money back, and ain’t no son of my father gonna give back a check for ten grand.  So that’s happening.  Like for real.

I have until summertime to decide about the second part of the grant.  I haven’t had a literal summer off in decades; I work during summers.  There have been summers where I was working more hours than I was during the school year.  I am not quitting at OtherJob but I’m going to dial my hours back to one or two days a week (because I will go shithouse-rat-crazy with a quickness if I literally have no reason to leave the house) and the rest of the time my job is Full-Time Writer.  And again, I’m under contract: I have until the end of August to either produce a completed manuscript or a certain number of words (70,000, I think?) towards a completed manuscript.  And once that’s done, it goes up on Amazon too.  Along with the BA short story collection that I promise I’m working on right now.

The problem here is that at the moment I have no idea what that manuscript is going to be.  Writing a sequel to Skylights makes perfect sense given the rest of the grant.  I’ve got a bare start on what could very well be a Benevolence Archives novel.  Or… something, anything else.  I’m gonna have to start carrying notebooks with me everywhere I go again in case inspiration strikes.  And technically I have until late June, I think, before the official calendar demands I begin writing.  That said, I could start tomorrow, if I wanted to.  (I don’t.)

I have never produced fiction under contract before.  Hell, other than some reports for school– which don’t really count– I’ve never produced any writing at all under contract before.

This will be very, very interesting.

Sooooooo excited.

And now I’m off to watch True Detective.  Which is gonna be worth a post of its own soon because holy fuckawesome.

(EDIT:  And, I just realized, thus far I’ve spent exactly zero seconds thinking about the very real impact that a high-four-figures-after-taxes-and-paying-my-artist infusion of cash is going to have on my financial status.  That’s… damn.)

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I GOT THE GRANT.

On Indiana weather

BdAjh11IAAAvBIr1.jpg-large1You may live in a similar place; you’ve heard the adage “If you don’t like the weather, wait a day”?  Yesterday– and I talked about this, I think– I took the garbage out in mid afternoon, and there was no snow falling.  Five minutes later I looked out my front window to a complete whiteout.  I couldn’t see the cul-de-sac at the end of my driveway.  I could only barely see the trash can I’d just put at the end of my driveway.

I woke up this morning to six or seven inches of snow in the driveway and once again felt the curse of not being able to properly judge snowfall because of the massive amounts that are still all over my yard.  I had to clear a path with my SUV so that my wife could get out of the driveway; I didn’t get up early enough to clear it this morning so that was all we could do.  Plus the plows had been through and there was an ice berm at the foot of the driveway.

I just got home… oh, half an hour ago?  And, for the first time in my life, cleared snow off of my driveway in my shirtsleeves.  It’s forty-four freaking degrees outside, which might as well be seventy considering how my body has adjusted to the cold lately.  I will admit that I didn’t make it completely through without a coat, but that was only because the wind was managing to blow directly in my face, no matter which way my face was actually pointed, which is kind of impressive in a malevolent and assholic sort of way.  Those of you from warmer climes may not know the exquisite thrill of using a snowblower on wet snow and having it blow directly back into your face; needless to say, when it’s happening no matter which way you blow the snow, you put a coat on just to keep the wet off even if it’s not strictly necessary from the cold.  If it had been a still day I could have easily finished the job without outerwear of any kind.  It is supposed to be nearly fifty degrees and raining on Thursday.  This will mean we will have apocalypse-level floods.

Whee.