#REVIEW: Nioh 3 (PS5, 2026)

I mean, come on. It’s a Nioh game. I rate it 800/10.

I officially beat Nioh 3 this afternoon and collected the Platinum trophy, with about 80 or so hours of gameplay needed in order to do it. This is the easiest of the trilogy by a long shot; anyone who has been around for a long time and has a really good memory might recall that the hardest boss fight I’ve ever had was in the original Nioh, and there were a bunch in Nioh 2 that were tough as nails. This one? I’m either a much better gamer after all this time or it’s easier. Both are possible; I’m going with “easier” anyway. Nioh 2, along with Elden Ring and Sekiro, is one of my favorite games of all time.

How does this one stand up? Pretty Goddamn well, although it’s not going to get four complete playthroughs before the DLC comes out like 2 did. The biggest change Nioh 3 makes to the series is the addition of an open-world aspect to the game; there are still more linear missions like in the earlier games, but in between there’s a wide-open area with some side missions and a whole ton of exploration to do. As I’m getting older I’m appreciating exploration-style games more and more, so that was something I really liked seeing in a series that was already in my personal pantheon. All of the technical stuff— the combat, the graphics, all the gameplay, basically, is up to expectations against the previous games; I can’t imagine any reason why anyone who enjoyed 1 or 2 might not like 3.

What didn’t work? This is going to be kind of a weird gripe, because it’s kind of a weird system, but this series has always been pretty big on build diversity, right? You can go with super-fast ninjutsu weapons or a magic-heavy build or a more armored, slower samurai-type build or you can mix and match to your heart’s content. This game added a system that I’ve never seen in a game before; you get a “samurai” build and a “ninja” build, which share certain things like ability scores and health, but who have different weapons and armor and Guardian Spirits and skills. Ninja have their complement of ninjutsu skills like shuriken and bombs and a whole mess of other stuff; Samurai have the three combat stances from the earlier games (the ninja weapons drop the combat stances) and a few other things. You can switch between your ninja build and your samurai build at the touch of one of the triggers.

Now, I feel like this should be cool, because you can effectively run two entirely separate builds and switch between them at will, and generally flexibility is a good thing. But the metaphor, for lack of a better word, never made any sense to me. Again, I know this is a weird thing to complain about when you’re playing a game where you’re a fireball-flinging ninja fighting demons in sixteenth-century Japan, but how the hell does this work from a storytelling perspective? The samurai and the ninja are the same person. And you hit R2 and bam, your character does a little spin and your armor and weapons change. I don’t know why this is hitting my suspension of disbelief so hard but I just can’t buy it. I ended up playing most of the game as the ninja anyway— I want to be fast in these games, and tonfa goes brrrrrrrrrrrrr was really all I needed except when I wanted talons go brrrrrrrr, and luckily those are both ninja weapons. You can also respec whenever you want, so if I decide I want to go mostly samurai in NG+ and do axe and odachi or whatever, I can literally just respec my character to do that on the spot, without even any in-game items to spend for it, and go be axe-odachi guy.

This is why the game is 800/10 and not 1000/10, of course. It doesn’t make the game less fun or anything— I mostly ignored the system altogether except when I wanted to fire my rifle, which I kept as my samurai’s distance weapon— but it never really stopped feeling weird. That’s my only complaint, though, and unless I’m stupid enough to download Crimson Desert, this game is pretty likely to keep holding my attention for a while, especially since there are still 3 DLCs coming this year.

I want my brain back

I have believed myself to be entirely neurotypical for my entire life, other than, y’know, the anxiety disorder and occasional crippling depression, so … yeah, maybe this wasn’t the right sentence to start with? But I’ve definitely never thought I had ADHD before. Until this week. My god. It has been a nightmare week in a lot of ways, some of which I’ve talked about and some of which I haven’t, so maybe I’ve earned it, but … ugh. I read nearly 9,000 pages in January according to Storygraph. I don’t think I’ve managed 200 this week. I can’t focus. It’s driving me batshit.

Now, a good chunk of that is Nioh 3, I’m not gonna lie; I’ve put 24 hours into it already since it came out. I knew it was going to eat my life, and eat my life it has. The other thing, though? Have you heard of Redactle? It’s the worst fucking thing ever. Imagine a Wikipedia article, with all the words except maybe the 15 most common English words blanked out. Selected at random. And then the game is you guess words until you get the title of the article. Which might be, like, “Jesus,” or something you’re familiar with, and might be Niamey, the capital city of Niger, or maybe it’ll be Navier-Stokes Equations, which you will somehow solve in 178 words? “Adivasi,” by comparison, took 401.

It’s not … fun, so much as addictive and horrible? But I haven’t done one yet today and I will before I go to bed. Right after I beat this boss. And then maybe I’ll get some sleep before I pick my wife up at the train station tomorrow morning, and hopefully my life more or less returns to normal.

(Thirteen minutes and 235 words for today’s puzzle, btw.)

IMPORTANT NIOH 3 UPDATE

IPPON-DATARAS ARE STILL THE ABSOLUTE GODDAMN WORST.

I need everyone to understand this

It is snowing again.

I do not think that losing school again tomorrow is likely, but if it does happen, I will lose my shit.

I will then go hunting, and rob many other people of their shit.

Which I will then also lose.

I require some normalcy, and I require it right now.

(Wow. Do not use DuckDuckGo.com to search for “fuck snow” if you have the explicit image filter turned off. Jesus.)

Anyway.

Today was, honestly, a pretty decent day– the kids were a little wild after a surprise week off, but not mean wild, just talky and silly– and there’s a new Iron Man #1 out (I didn’t make it to the comic shop yesterday), and I got three books delivered that I’ve been looking forward to, and there’s a new demo out for Nioh 3. So I’ve got a whole lot of media consumin’ heading my way.

Anyway. Everybody cross your fingers and, against all sense, hope for no snow tonight, so that we can keep the Western Hemisphere.

2025 in video games

Ghost of Yotei was Game of the Year. It wasn’t close. I played a fair number of really good games this year, but the sequel to the best game of 2020 and one of my favorite games of all time was the best game of 2025, and I feel like that’s probably not something that’s going to surprise anyone.

The big story for me this year was how much more use my Xbox got compared to every previous year; I leaned into Game Pass a lot more than I have in the past, and anything that I could get for free on Xbox ended up being played on that console. I’m still pretty agnostic as far as the virtues of the two consoles go; how well a game runs really seems to be more dependent on the game itself than the system I’m running it on, and I’m well beyond the point where gigaflorps and raytraces and whatever the graphical buzzword of the day might be is particularly impressive. The biggest graphical moments of the year for me were a character moment in Clair Obscur and realizing that the light coming through a stained glass window in a church was actually reflecting off my character in the right colors in whichever Sniper Elite I played this year. 6, maybe? Let’s say 6.

For the second year in a row, I did not touch the Switch, and my son showed no interest at all in picking up a Switch 2, so we haven’t. I am strongly considering a Steam Machine when it comes out in 2026, though.

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 was probably Yotei’s closest competition, and was definitely the most unique game I played this year, as damn near everything else was either a Soulslike or a Metroidvania or a combination of both– I am nothing if not consistent with my preferred genres. It had the best turn-based gameplay I’ve ever encountered and combined it with a stunningly good story and hauntingly beautiful graphics and if it wasn’t for the bit where it used up all of its goodwill in the amazingly misconceived grindfest that is Act III, I’d probably still be playing it.

Khazan: The First Berserker does not involve any berserking but hooooooooly shit was it a lot of fun and I put more hours into it than anything else I played this year, including Yotei. I played through it completely twice before moving on to the next game. That doesn’t happen very often. What kept this one from GOTY? The lack of depth to the story, mostly. The combat was exceptionally good but the story didn’t hold a candle to the emotional resonance of Yotei or Clair Obscur, leaving the game just a touch below both of them.

I also played the shit out of Wuchang: Fallen Feathers, and loved 95% of it, and for the other 5% I was staring at a blurry mess of pixels as the game struggled to keep up with itself. There was also a bug in the platinum trophy, which meant that after doing absolutely everything in the game and getting all of the other trophies, I didn’t get the trophy that you get for getting all the trophies. Look, game, they’re right there. They did finally push through an update months later that gave me credit for everything, and I keep hearing there might be a big story DLC that will absolutely pull me back into the game, but a bug stopping me from getting the final trophy in this one stuck in my craw a bit. The game itself was great, though.

This is the entire map for Crypt Custodian, a game where you play a ghost cat that beats up enemies with a broom. I assume that you can tell how much I loved the game just from looking at how huge and complicated this map is. I love exploration-heavy games. This one was amazing.

And finally …

This is a screenshot from Crime Scene Cleaner, a ridiculous little game where you are tossed into the role of a guy whose job it is to clean up after heinous mob crimes. This includes getting rid of all the bodies, picking up anything broken, restoring anything that isn’t, and cleaning up every tiny little spot of blood. Upgrading your abilities includes things like getting better mops and bags that can hold larger volumes of garbage.

It was, and this is a great way to find out if you and I are people or not, one of the most relaxing games I played this year. Walk into utter fucking nightmare chaos and restore order? Sign me up. I want a sequel. They can do a new version of this game every year if they want to, I’ll keep playing it.

And, for the second day in a row, I’ve written “I want more of this” in a post, then gone and looked, and found out there was more! They apparently released a big DLC back in June and it never crossed my radar. Hooray!

What did you play this year?

#REVIEW: Ender Magnolia: Bloom in the Mist (PS5, 2025)

I’m finding myself weirdly not in the mood to write about this, but in the absence of anything else not involving profane ranting and raving, I’m just going to tell you that Ender Magnolia is a quality if not life-changing Metroidvania, and that it excels mostly in the exploration side of things. The combat and build styles are really interesting– you bond with AIs called Homunculi throughout the game, and each of them will give you either a travel ability or some sort of new approach to combat, and on top of that each combat homunculus will have three different and sometimes wildly divergent abilities to play with. You’ll have ten or so available by the end of the game, so that’s thirty different abilities, plus items called Relics that can add buffs or tweak your build in other ways, so this is also a game that’s big on build customization.

I liked it, and I platinumed it today, and if you’re into Metroidvanias as a genre at all it should definitely be on your list. Unfortunately I’m tired and kinda crabby at the moment for no particular reason, so I’m going to cut this shorter than I originally had planned. What should I play next? Both of these are on sale right now:

Dammit

I told myself it was beating Ender Magnolia or bust tonight, and now that it’s 9:30 and I’ve somehow failed to eat dinner I’m forced to admit that my choice is “bust.” Bah.

An unexpected proud dad moment

My son has been patiently working away at the Path of Pain since I got home from work, four hours ago. The person who put the video above together is some sort of divine creature; I never even attempted this feat when I was playing Hollow Knight, and if I had I would have invented twelve new swear words and killed one of the cats by about the halfway mark.

This kid hasn’t let a single swear word or even really a single sound of frustration pass his lips the whole time. No controller tossing. No muttering under his breath. Just persistence and patience.

I don’t know where the hell he got it from. Sure as hell not me.