In which I am healthy/ In which am somewhat of a geek

chiropractor_in_grand_rapids_-_funny_exercise_pictureGot to leave work early today because of a doctor’s appointment; I’m proud to announce that my liver appears to no longer be eating itself.  Everything that should be down is down (in particular, I’ve dropped 12 pounds since early August) and… well, actually, nothing was supposed to be higher than it was a month ago.  Blood pressure, liver enzymes, weight, errythang.  All down.  I actually got a hug.  Most doctors don’t hug, but mine does.

Then I went looking for Star Wars: The Force Awakens toys, which I sorta knew was gonna be a fool’s errand so I wasn’t super annoyed when it predictably went nowhere.  I have decided that I will allow myself to buy Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren, Rey, and Finn, in the traditional 3.75″ barely-articulable version, but that will be it.  Possibly a stormtrooper, because for some reason I really dig the alterations to the armor that they’ve made. That will be it, though.  I found zero of those figures at Target, and then came home and fiddled around online trying to buy them and had a startlingly poor time at that too.  I’ll give it a couple of weeks and see what happens.   I’m pretty sure I don’t need them right now.

Somewhat more worrying is that Chuck Wendig’s Star Wars book is out, and while it’s currently Amazon’s #1 book (!!!  Go Chuck!) it’s getting shockingly poor reviews.  I have not liked a single one of the books released in the new continuity, and they’ve been getting worseKevin Hearne’s Luke Skywalker book was unreadable, and I really like Kevin Hearne.  If Chuck effin’ Wendig can’t write a Star Wars book that I like, it may be time to pack it in.  That said, some of the reviews have a whiff of Internet Asshole about them.  I’ll probably end up buying it, but if this one doesn’t work I’ll have to be done.  I have dozens of Star Wars books I can reread if the urge strikes, after all.  It’s just that none of them count anymore.

Booyah!

 And now, it shall rain for forty days and forty nights. 

My new best friend

…is this adorable little dude right here.  He’s going to sit on my desk and make me happy every time I look at him forever.

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It’s impossible to photograph well, but…

… I feel like my new Prostetnic Publications mug has improved my lifestyle.

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oh my god this is REAL?

So I heard about this last night on the twitters and I thought it was a hoax.  It’s not a hoax. It’s a real thing that is real:

B6B7gHTIMAAA6JmSo, long story short: the extruder for some new Play-Doh toy that a bunch of people got for their kids for Christmas looks exactly like a goddamned dildo.  You have got to go to the Facebook page and go there right now the carnage going on in the comments is the Internet distilled into its purest form and is completely hilarious on every imaginable level.

Thank me later.  Click the link now.

He lives!

Thanks to my wife, not to me. I cannot sew.

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On priorities

10401384_10152875059674066_1925030334716189476_nIt’s been a bad few days at work– not in the “come home and pull my hair out” sort of way, but in the “come home and curse the world for letting this happen” sort of way, which is in some ways worse.  We had– did I mention this?– the first real snowstorm of the season on Thursday of last week (it snowed on Halloween, too, and I know I mentioned that, but it didn’t stick) and it’s been really cold and intermittently snowy for the last few days.  It was somewhere in the neighborhood of ten below zero wind chill when I left for work this morning, and most of the districts in northern Indiana and southern Michigan were at least on a two-hour delay today.  (Not ours.  We are a hardier folk than most.)

The thing about cold weather?  Depending on how charitable you’re feeling, it either makes it harder to ignore how poor most of our families are or makes it more visible.  It becomes real clear real fast which families can’t afford to pay the bills once it starts snowing.  If a kid shows up at school in the same polo shirt that he was wearing (and I mean literally the same polo shirt) when it was seventy degrees outside, chances are that kid’s family can’t afford to keep the heat on.

There are an awful lot of kids in this building who don’t seem to have winter coats.  An awful lot.  And we ended up having to send our social worker over to a couple different houses where it turns out the heat isn’t on at all.

You may be wondering what the picture at the top of this post has to do with anything.  Not much, except as an exemplar of my general lack of fitness as a human being.  We’ve spent the last few days at work with the problems of poverty full and center, right?  I got home yesterday to discover that one of the dogs had done that to Kitty.

Kitty is my son’s favorite toy.  Kitty’s the stuffed animal he screams for when he hits his head or falls down or is scared.  And the dogs– I have my suspicion which one– had destroyed it.

The rage was immediate and incandescent.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been that angry at one of my pets before.  I could have killed the little bastards, and I ended up shoving both of them into the back yard until I calmed down, which should have taken a lot less time than it did.

My kid’s three.  He’s got his own room.  He’s got a big house with blankets and heat and food and plenty of toys and books and all four of his grandparents and his uncle and his aunt are in town and he has two parents who are still married and hold steady jobs.  He’s fine.  And despite my worries to the contrary, when we told him about Kitty, he was basically okay with it, although my wife did promise him she’d try to fix him.

I probably ought to find something worth getting angry about.

No, Daddy…

“Spider rides the fire truck!”

‘Kay.

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