On doxing myself

job-huntThe two-year anniversary of my formal resignation from teaching passed without comment a couple of weeks ago.  It took six months of looking before I found the job I have now, and I basically have not stopped looking for work since then, as I’ve never really felt like furniture sales are a viable long-term career for me.  The hours are killing me, in particular; I can count the number of weekends I’ve had with my family in the last two years on one hand, and there are still multiple days a week where I don’t see my son at all in between dropping him off at school in the morning and putting him to bed immediately when I get home at night.  Plus, while I am actually pretty good at my job– I was #61 in the company in overall sales for the year, and this is a company with over 250 stores– the economy is slowly starting to collapse and I really don’t like working for commission.  We get paid on delivery, not on initial sale, and right now a huge percentage of the stuff I’ve sold in the last few months is still backordered to March.

To wit: I made less than minimum wage this week.  I have two Master’s degrees, and I made less than minimum wage for the 42 hours that I was at work this week.  My boss is barely 30 and my two assistant managers are both in their mid-twenties.  I have already been offered chances to move up to management but the simple fact is I honestly don’t want it, because every time I wargame it out it becomes clear that it would actually lead to less money for more hours and more responsibility, and … nah.  I can keep calling the kid who is young enough to be my son “boss” instead.  It’s just not that big of a deal.

I’ve applied for several dozen different jobs in the 19 months or so since I started at my current job.  I’ve had, I think, two interviews.  I did not have a second interview for either position and heard through the grapevine that one of the jobs ended up going to a relative of one of the people who interviewed me, which was fun.  I’m at the point where I’m so deadly tired of writing cover letters that I’m having to scan them carefully for sarcasm before sending them out, and I was so annoyed by a rejection later that I got today that said they’d “evaluated my skills” that I was halfway through a go fuck yourself, you assholes sort of response before I got control of myself.

You didn’t “evaluate my skills,” you fucks.  You glanced at a cover letter and a resume and didn’t immediately see the boxes you wanted checked so you moved on.  If your letter had said that, I wouldn’t be pissed off.  But I wouldn’t have applied for your job if I didn’t have the skills to do it.  I assure you that my skills are fine.

Most of y’all know that “Luther Siler” is a pen name.  I had perfectly good reasons to take some steps to conceal my identity when I started the blog, but while I’m not considering abandoning the name (I’ve written six books as this dude, and have an actual network of real people who only know me by that name) it’s occurred to me that if I really want a different job, this blog and my Twitter following probably legitimately do represent my best networking opportunity for finding one, and I haven’t used it at all because I’ve always wanted to keep Luther’s and “my” lives separate.  I may need to reevaluate this conceit, is what I’m saying here.  Because this furniture selling thing is really getting old, and I don’t seem to be having any luck finding any alternate work as me.

Somewhat related anecdote: we have a Saturday morning meeting every week as a staff, since everyone works on Saturdays, and this week we did this little team building exercise involving our goals and fears.  One of my co-workers noticed that I more or less dropped out of the exercise entirely when the “write about your fears” bit came up, and asked me about it later in the day.

I told him the truth: that damn near all of my legitimate fears right now involve being stuck selling furniture forever, and that I hadn’t really thought that sharing that little detail with the rest of my co-workers was the smartest way to start my day.

In which I totally lose the thread

images.jpegSo it turns out Chatroulette is still a thing.  Who knew?

Today was a morning full of errands and minor home improvement tasks, an afternoon of nothing, and then full-time Daddy Duty all evening.  I may or may not have mentioned my wife’s new job; I think I have but I can’t remember specifically doing it.  At any rate, I have officially ceded the title of Breadwinner; she came close to doubling her salary by changing jobs and even if I still had last year’s job she’d still be like 20% above me.

So this means that when Lord High Muckety-Mucks from her new company are in town, she has to go to Big Fancy Dinners to entertain them.  So she’s there, and I’m a househusband today.

(Hey, it’s better than “unemployed.”  I did my first job application today where I had to admit that technically I don’t have a job any longer, although I suppose I could put self-employed on there and list Prostetnic.  Maybe I should.  Hmm.)

(Actually, I really should.  Author/Publisher/Marketer/Owner/Technically-can’t-call-myself-a-CEO, dating back to 2013?  Hmm.)

Yeah, this post was gonna be about something and now all I can think about is how I should redo my resume.  What was I gonna say again?  Shit.

…yeah, I lost it.  Dammit.  🙂

In which I tinker

awful-fail-resumes-funny-10Spent the evening polishing and updating my résumé; I’ve been fiddling with bits here and there but it was time for a more serious overhaul.  In particular, there’s a section now highlighting my skills with social media and mentioning oh, I wrote some books.  Now, this could backfire on me rather considerably, I imagine.  I don’t actually give my pen name or mention my website, but the fact is I’m applying for some jobs where familiarity with social media is a plus and it would probably be useful to point out that I’ve got 10,000 Twitter followers in cases like that.  Hopefully it won’t blow up in my face.  We’ll cross fingers.

In other news, I’ve been back at work for two days, and so far it hasn’t been that bad.  I’ve mostly kept a lid on my temper, a fact helped considerably by the fact that many of my more problematic kids are suspended right now. It’s amazing what pulling just three kids out of my afternoon group, in particular, does for the group dynamic.  They’re still not angels by any stretch but it moves them from one of the most demanding groups I’ve ever had to just average, and average I can easily handle.  The only problem I’ve been having is with getting up in the morning and (possibly medicine-related?) an incredible amount of morning nausea.  If I were a woman I’d be seriously wondering about pregnancy right now.  I was completely convinced yesterday in particular that I was going to have to charge out of the room and puke at any moment, but so far both days I’ve been able to keep it together.  I don’t know if it’s stress or the meds or just having to get up way before I’m ready for it (the exhaustion hasn’t gone away) or what but I’m kinda done with it and I’d like it to go away now.

Four days until my self-imposed Searching for Malumba MUST BE DONE deadline.  I probably oughtta get on that, huh?