I just, somehow, got sucked into spending half an hour reading this brutal-ass report on everything Olive Garden is doing wrong nowadays.  Warning: it’s a 290-page PDF file.  Second warning:  it is, somehow, despite being full of investorspeak and MBAtalk, startlingly compelling.

And, again, brutal.  Whoever was responsible for putting this together pretty much thinks that everyone who works for or at Olive Garden, or any other restaurant owned by Darden, sucks, as well as all upper management and most of their investors.  And he pulls no punches at all, ever.  What can I say; I love invective in basically all its forms, and this is some great hate going on here.

The funny thing is, while I don’t have any real animus against Olive Garden, I don’t particularly like the place either.  We eat there… yearly?  Twice yearly, maybe?  I’m a fan of Red Lobster, which at least used to be owned by the same people, but doesn’t seem to be anymore, and I don’t think I’ve ever entered a Longhorn Steakhouse.  So it wouldn’t be any real skin off my back if Olive Garden went under.  I know some people who might be upset, I suppose.  I’m not one of them.

I might miss the Penny Arcade comics, I guess.