In which I turn a tweet into a post

On November 13, 2020 By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, Politics4 Comments

Who’s the dumbest Democratic elected official, at a national level? Meaning, like, either a member of the national government or a high enough state or city-level official that people who don’t live there might have heard of them?

I’m either back on my bullshit or still on my bullshit, depending on how long you’ve been around here, and I have (like many of you) grown increasingly impatient with stupid Republican arguments. The person in the White House is still insisting, as recently as today, that America is having more coronavirus infections on a daily basis than some countries have had in total because we have more testing. A recently elected Republican Senator announced this morning that America fought in World War II to preserve Europe from the horrors of socialism. And enough Republicans have confidently asserted something about masks that was utterly horseshit or pointed at a mostly-red electoral map of America recently and smugly declared that they don’t understand how the Democrats could possibly when when so much of America votes red that I really don’t feel the need to point to a specific example. It literally happens multiple times a day.

There has got to be a similar Democratic equivalent. There’s got to be. Like, this has got to be my bubble working against me. There are dumb Democrats, I know there are, because Democrats are people and people are dumb. By definition, there must therefore be some really dumb elected Democrats. I’m not asking for stupid on the level of the numbskull that just lost his job, or any of the various no-exaggeration brain-damaged Qanon morons they just put in office. Just regular, run-of-the-mill, that’s a dumb guy dumb guys.

Like, Biden is probably the dumbest person I’ve ever voted for for President, but the only reason that can be true is his competition. When you’re being compared to Bill and Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Al Gore and John Kerry (himself probably the least of that group), it’s gonna be really hard to come off as intellectually impressive. On any kind of remotely objective scale, he’s at least high-average, I think.

The funny thing is that I think if I asked Republicans who the dumbest elected Democrat was, I’d probably take their answer as evidence that they themselves were pretty fucking stupid. I suspect it’d be Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, frankly, and I don’t know how many times this woman has to run rings around Republicans before they admit she’s smarter than most of them. That’s only something they go after her for because of sexism, racism, and ageism; she’s a young woman of color so she can’t be smart.

Seriously. I want to know. Who’s the Mike Pence of the Democratic party?

On predictions

On October 8, 2020 By Luther M. SilerIn idiocy, Politics1 Comment

I did not watch the debate last night, and I have, I think, more experience with Mike Pence’s peculiar brand of affectless sophistry than most, but not in a million years did I think insects would compose a substantial portion of the discourse the day afterward. And if it wasn’t the insects, it was what appeared to be pinkeye, a twin to his boss’s nearly swollen shut eye in his drug-induced, semicoherent frenzy video from yesterday.

I have no idea if this dude has Covid or not. He was supposed to be in Indiana tomorrow to vote; that’s been abruptly cancelled and he’s been recalled to DC. I am refraining from guessing what that might be about, as I suspect there are plenty of utterly boring reasons why the Vice-President might have to cancel a purely optional trip to attend to something else in DC. There are a bunch that aren’t boring, too, but I’m utterly done trying to predict what is coming next, ever.

I had a brief text conversation with my brother earlier today about Nate Silver, who is currently predicting that Biden wins the election. Frankly, everyone is predicting that Biden wins the election, and we are at least edging into “but by how much?” territory. I saw a poll today that had Biden up by sixteen points. This is what an eighteen-point win looks like:

… so, good news, right? Nah. I’m not predicting a god damn thing. I still haven’t voted, but I’ll attend to that as soon as I can; it’s only a suddenly somewhat more complicated schedule that has kept me from doing it already, since my wife for various reasons isn’t able to work from home as much as she has been recently. That’s what I can control. I’m going to vote, and I’m going to make sure everyone I have even the slightest influence over also votes, and then I’m going to do my best to stop worrying about it. I’m making no predictions of any kind. I’m barely even allowing myself to be hopeful. I’m gonna vote. I’m gonna tell you to vote. And I’m probably going to take the day after the election off, no matter what, and I’m gonna make sure I’ve got a supply of emergency brain meds laid in.

And that’s all I can do right now.

John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway: in which I liveblog (most of) the #VPDebate

On October 4, 2016October 4, 2016 By Luther M. SilerIn Politics1 Comment

8:43: I get home from work.

8:44: I put on my Jackass wristband.

8:45: I give my son many goodnight hugs.

8:55: I am comfortably ensconced on my couch eating cold Taco Bell and swigging Mountain Dew. LET’S DO THIS SHIT.

9:00: Sweet Jesus, is the next damn debate Sunday night? I have a sad.

9:01: Shut up, Jeffrey Lord. You’re a stupid white person and the fact that you’re on CNN is absolute unambiguous proof of white privilege and the upraising of white mediocrity. Whitey.

9:02: I don’t even know who this yahoo is, but he just called Mike Pence “moderate-seeming.” Uh. No. Not even fucking close, asshole.

9:04: I have no idea who Elaine Quijano is, for the record. I’ve never heard of her and would not recognize her. There will not, I predict, be nine segments.

9:06: KAINE HAS MORE WATER THAN PENCE! MEDIA BIAS!

9:07: Pence has his Listening Face on. Have I ever mentioned that I’m distantly related to that asshole? Because I’m distantly related to that asshole. I feel like Kaine isn’t answering the question but I can’t take my eyes off Pence. He’s really dumb, guys, and he’s got that Jessica Simpson “can’t look away from the dumb” thing going on right now.

9:10: God I wanted to make fun of something Pence said just now but I’ve forgotten it already. My brain cells are leaking out of my ears and flying toward the screen. I think they’re trying to help.

9:11: “Senator Kaine, why does everyone hate Hillary Clinton?” I rather hope that the next question will be just as loaded. Kaine’s talking really quickly. Chill, dude.

9:12: I note that the next question is basically just as loaded, so okay. Pence completely ignores the question to talk about Clinton’s foreign policy.

9:14: A bunch of back-and-forth bickering as Pence completely refuses to defend his running mate and attacks Clinton instead. C’mon, dude! Just lie!

9:16: The moderator may as well not even be there. Pence balanced his budget on the backs of schools, by the way. Schools have been wrecked since he took office; he’s continued his predecessor’s record quite nicely in that respect.

9:18: Second time he’s said “War on Coal,” a phrase Trump never uttered once.

9:20: I like the phrase “debt-free college.” Pence has this weirdly condescending facial expression going on but Kaine’s kinda coming off as a yapping puppy.

9:22: I would like Pence to answer the question. He’s actually trying valiantly by now but he’s also trying to pretend that running casinos in the mid-90s was a really difficult thing to do.

9:25: Financial disclosures ARE NOT tax returns.

9:26: She’s doing a decent job of running through the questions– we’re on part 3 right now– but she’s not actually doing a lot of moderating. And while I don’t like treating these things like they’re entertainment I’m actually really bored right now. It was a really goddamn long day, guys.

9:28: Pence, who I will note I have already described as trainable, is actually doing a quite good job of seeming sane and reasonable. That said, let’s talk about race now, so if he’s gonna fuck up the next couple of minutes are going to be where it happens.

9:29: My dog just farted. Appropriate.

9:31: Twitter’s moving way slower tonight than it was during the first debate. I don’t understand why the moderator says we’re going to talk about race relations and then immediately moves into why we’re being too mean to police.

9:32: “At the risk of agreeing with you…” Okay, Mike, that was sorta funny. A little.

9:33: The national FOP endorsed Trump because they’re a quasi-fascist organization and they know they’ll get to be the brownshirts during his administration.

9:34: Pence appears to believe that basically the entire Black Lives Matter movement is an example of the Negroes making stuff up.

9:37: Do you think they fought over who got to wear the red tie and who got to wear the blue tie?

9:38: I am seriously having trouble paying attention to either of them. I think Mike Pence might have just suggested that inner-city African-Americans might have been asking for stop and frisk. Are you fucking kidding me? He couldn’t have said that; my brain hasn’t died. No way.

9:40: My son gets up for the fourteenth fucking time. It doesn’t go well for him. He’s crying now.

9:41: IT IS NOT AN INSULT TO REPEAT THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID ON VIDEO. DONALD TRUMP SAID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE FUCKING THINGS. REPEATING HIS EXACT FUCKING WORDS IS NOT AN INSULT. I’M FUCKING TIRED OF THIS HORSESHIT.

9:43: I gotta go deal with the boy. Might be back.

9:47: During my attempt to console my son/ convince him to keep his ass in bed for the rest of the night, he inadvertently kicks me in the balls. He’s insisting that one of us need to sleep with him. I am suddenly not in the mood for any of this at all.

9:50: Kaine helpfully explains to Pence that the Pentagon is in Virginia. It’s not very funny and yet it’s the funniest thing that’s happened tonight.

9:54: Yeah, okay, I want to be in bed reading a book. Everyone in my house is in a shitty mood and I had a long-ass day and screw these guys, I’m going home. I made it through two-thirds; that’s enough.

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On Mike Pence…

On July 14, 2016July 14, 2016 By Luther M. SilerIn Politics2 Comments

…might be the title of the post I would write about Mike Pence joining Donald Trump’s ticket, were I able to do anything other than laugh hysterically at the idea.

Bye, Mike. Your ignorant, bigoted ass won’t be missed at all.

Well, that was depressing

On June 23, 2014June 23, 2014 By Luther M. SilerIn Teaching5 Comments

Just got back from an interview that, I think, went really well both for me and for the other folks– and which was, for once, a couple of people having a conversation across a table, which is how I think job interviews ought to go– and which ended by me basically having to admit that there was no chance in hell I was going to be able to work for them because of their legally-mandated-by-the-state-of-Indiana salary structure. I have twelve years of experience and two Master’s degrees; no, I will not be teaching for you for $35,000.

It is literally illegal to pay me according to my experience and training. I have another interview scheduled for this afternoon; I have already read through their master contract and it is going to go the same way. I am sorely tempted to save myself the gas money and just cancel the interview. They can’t afford me, because the state doesn’t want them to.

Governor Pence’s master plan to entirely deprofessionalize teaching in Indiana is having its intended effect. I hope the state enjoys the results they will get.