furniture – Page 3 – Welcome to infinitefreetime dot com

576c36a3a6f2a.image.jpg Ah, screw it. Furniture. I sell furniture now. Maybe that was obvious from the thing about the massage chair the other day; I dunno. There are not a ton of furniture stores in the area but there are at least as many furniture stores as there are middle schools, and I’ve made it three years without anyone trying to dox me, so screw it. I suspect talking about my life for the next little while will become very complicated if I’m not even able to reveal what sort of sales I’m involved in.

That said, the training wheels come off on Monday, so if you know me and you’re in the area and in the market for some furniture, come hit me up. Believe it or not the Fourth of July weekend will feature a sale. I suspect that detail will not help people pin down what store I work at. I have spent the week in a crazily intense crash course on basically everything anyone could possibly want to know about furniture, and I am trying hard to resist the urge to tear apart everything in the house to see how it is constructed. I have learned more about drawer construction in the last four days than I ever imagined it was possible to know. Drawers are complicated! Really damn complicated! I can tell you about like four different types of dovetailing and on Monday I didn’t know what dovetailing was. And lacquer! Do you know what catalyzed lacquer is? Because I do. Go ahead, point at a piece of wood on a piece of furniture and ask me if it’s solid wood or veneered. I’ll know.

Also, I really want all-new furniture. Like, everywhere in the house. I expect to spend my first four to six paychecks entirely on furniture. My wife may have something to say about this, I suppose. On a couple of different levels.

So that’s what I’ve been doing all week. I’m at OtherJob tomorrow, then I have Sunday off, and I work on Monday and on my birthday. Will there be celebrations after that?

I’m turning 40. Probably.

…and a new mattress, to be completely specific. The wife and I spent part of the afternoon looking at mattresses, and discovered something interesting: despite the fact that we cannot agree on a mattress in a store, generally because she wants things too soft for me and I want things too firm for her, when we actually went to the Sleep Number place our preferred Sleep Numbers were only about 5 or 10 apart.

I cannot explain this. Our current mattress, which we’ve had for seven years, is starting to need rotation far too often, and while a new bed isn’t a huge priority right now it’s bubbling up a bit more often than it used to. I would like to stop having to take ibuprofen before bed, although that’s less for the jimmylegs than for strictly mattress-related stuff.

Thing is, Sleep Number beds are a bit on the expensive side, especially when you’re dealing with a King-size mattress, which is what we have. I don’t want to drop that kind of money without at least a couple of people giving me first-hand commentary.

Anybody out there have a Sleep Number bed and want to share about it?